Page 48 of Theirs to Crave

My memories of the funeral itself were hazy, brief moments that my overwhelmed mind allowed to linger.

The three Quoosalk carrying Ilya’s body with reverent care.

Revik’s eyes searching the sky as Litha refused to allow us to enter the clearing Yin chose as Ilya’s burial place.

The three small trunks that formed the cradle we finally laid xyr body to rest in, and the flash of claws as the Teterayuh dug into the dark soil.

Glossy red leaves wrapping around Ilya’s body, turning the grave into a pool of blood on which white blossoms floated like macabre lilies.

Dark, gritty dirt caked under my fingernails.

Yin lying motionless on the freshly turned soil, tears rolling down xyr scales.

Shane’s voice, thick with emotion as he sang a low, sad rendition of “Over the Rainbow”.

Sorrow.

???

My arm was asleep. I couldn’t feel my hip either, but my knees and the small of my back ached enough that I was sure it would be sore as hell too. Ihadn’t slept—my eyes were hot from staring at nothing—but it felt like I was waking up, foggy and slow.

The others were beginning to stir in that mysterious synchronicity that happens sometimes, and the whispers of their movements grounded me.

I blinked, trying to find a spare drop of moisture to ease the scratchiness, and my wandering stare fell on Litha.

She, Zafett, and Revik had kept themselves apart while we mourned Ilya—helping, but not interfering. She didn’t smile now, didn’t move at all, but I felt drawn to her. I was halfway to my feet before I realized what I was doing, moving on an instinctual need to feel safe.

Somehow, I knew if I went to her—went to them—they’d hold me, and nothing could hurt me in their arms.

Yin’s hand landed on my knee, and I stopped thinking about myself.

“Come, Abuele. Let me help you up,” I murmured. It felt strange to speak, as if we’d been laying on Ilya’s grave for years, not the hours it had probably been.

Yin closed xyr eyes for a long moment. Xe looked muted, their scales bleached out to old denim rather than the vibrant indigo I was used to. When Yin rose, putting real weight on the hand I offered, xe moved with a stiff, aching slowness.

Burying xyr child had aged Yin.

But Yin’s silver eyes were clear and steady when xe looked up, and xyr head tipped with dignity towards the Teterayuh. “Relyat.It is time. We go.”

Salat and Therry fell into step beside Yin as we again began our march through the jungle. We were still quiet, still somber, but the pall hanging over us had lifted. Ilya was resting now, free of the cage that had stolen xyr life.

I slipped back, moving to Mariano’s side. He looked at me for a split second, then focused on the ground directly in front of his feet. I let it pass. I could be patient.

Gradually, I slowed my pace, letting distance grow between us and the others. Revik, prowling behind us, tilted his head in question, but I waved him off.

My brother wouldn’t talk about hisfeelingsif anyone else could hear him, and the pendejo clearly had things to get off his chest. He’d barely said a word since the fight. He hadn’t even sung with us at the funeral. Enough was enough.

Time to poke the bear and see what happened.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I hissed in Spanish. A paragon of sensitivity, that was me.

“We just left a funeral,” he gritted back, glaring. At least he was making eye contact. It was a step in the right direction. “Have some respect.”

“You have some respect, cabrón! Using a funeral as an excuse. Shameful. We both know something’s eating at you. Talk.”

“Jesus Christ!” he burst out. When heads turned towards us, he lowered his voice to a hiss, still speaking in rapid Spanish. “What the fuck do you expect? Am I supposed to prance around, singing a happy little tune? Things are shit, if you hadn’t noticed.”

I ran my tongue around my teeth, then pursed my lips. “I don’t know, I guess I expect you to act like a grown ass man instead of a petulant child. But if you want to be a little bitch, I’m not going to stop you. Come see me if you want to pull your head out of your ass.”

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