Page 6 of Kiss Me Again

"I'm going for a run," I say and turn around.

"But you just returned from training," she says, surprised.

"I need to clear my mind." That's true. When I feel nervous, overwhelmed, or angry, I run. And right now, it feels like I have all of that at once.

I thought that leaving home and going to college would help me get rid of those thoughts about Mia being mine. It didn't. I still think about her every day. I follow her social media from a fake account to know that she's okay because asking Diana about her too often would be suspicious.

And now Mia is going to live under the same roof as me. And she's going to lose her virginity while she's here.In my house.

Fuck my life.

CHAPTER THREE

MIA

Anxiety. Anxiety is a friend. It makes you realize what aspects of your life you need to work on.

I repeat the words from one of the books I downloaded right after my first panic attack. I didn't know it was a panic attack then; I thought I was having a stroke.

It was right before a significant test that I was afraid about. I thought I would fail it even though I was more than prepared. I didn't. And since then, I started having these anxieties from time to time, especially when something unexpected and unpredictable happened, which I had absolutely no control over.

Just like right now. I moved to Diana's house and found out that Ben hurt his knee yesterday and his meniscus is inflamed. The doctor told him to stop training for at least six weeks until further medical examination. That means he'll be home the whole time I am staying here.

I inhale slowly, then exhale even longer, watching myself in the mirror. I am already as red as a tomato, and it's not even hot in here, so I don't know how to explain it except that I am living in the same house as my school crush.

My ex-school crush,I correct myself. I don't like Ben anymore. Yes, I admit he's attractive, but it doesn't matter. We have nothing in common. He loves sports, I love books. He's going to play football, while I'm going to be a doctor.

See? Nothing in common.I repeat to myself so that I won’t forget it.

You're almost siblings!I remind myself of Diana's words. She loves to repeat them when talking about us, which makes me feel weird, and I'm sure Ben also feels uncomfortable. Yes, we grew up together; we were friends, all three of us, but did I ever perceive Ben as my sibling? Absolutely not; I never did.

I exhale loudly and rapidly, forgetting that I need to breathe smoothly. Ben is going to live in Beverly Hills, here, with us, me and Di.Under one roof.I repeat it once again, unable to believe it. If I had known this would happen, I would have stayed with Mom and her friend Celia, sleeping on the broken couch with her dog and two cats.

"Mia, are you coming? Elias has already set the table. We're waiting for you," Diana says right after knocking at the bathroom door, and I jump a little in surprise.

Yeah, right; I forgot about their French chef and his schedule. He cooks even if Diana is the only person in the house. When I asked her why they needed him, she shrugged it off, saying, "My parents hired him." They also have a driver, a maid, and a gardener.

When I first came to their house, I was amazed by its size and the number of employees they had, inside and out. I was impressed, thinking it must be incredible to live like that.

I was wrong. Living alone with your parents always away, surrounded by strangers who act like you’re living in a hotel is not a dream come true. It's a child's nightmare. I saw many times how Di cried quietly when she thought I was sleeping after she told me that her parents weren't coming home when they said they were. I realized that nothing is better than your mother coming home every day after work. And even if you have frozen lasagna for dinner, there's nothing as nice as eating together on the couch, watching a movie, and having microwave popcorn for dessert.

"Yeah, sorry, something got into my eye," I lie, trying to explain my ten minutes in the bathroom. It’s better than saying that I have diarrhea or something. Luckily, the peak of the anxiety had already passed.

"Do you need help?" Diana offers in response.

"No, I already got it; I'll be right back." I turn on the water and start washing my face, trying to make my flushed cheeks less red with the cold.

CHAPTER FOUR

BEN

"Was I away for so long that you dared to take my place at the table?" I ask as I walk to the kitchen. I notice Mia sitting in front of my sister. "Hey," I say to her, and she nods back.

"It's not a problem, dear brother. I'll give your chair back immediately," Diana says sarcastically and gets up. She has been acting like this since yesterday when I returned from the doctor with a knee cast.

"No, thanks; I don't want you to pity me," I say and take a seat at the other end of the table. I'm even glad I won't be sitting by Mia.

"I'll even bring you your food," she adds as if to piss me off even more and walks to the counter to grab my plate.

---