Page 34 of Death's Devotion
Hours and hours have passed since I arrived at the hospital. Instead of being in the waiting room with everyone else, I’m in the room Kelsey will be staying in when she gets out of surgery. I’ve got my boys with me. Brent is sleeping in a hospital crib thing so he can’t fall out but everyone can still get to him. I didn’t even know they had these things for babies. His sleep is restless as he whines and shifts in his sleep. I’ve held him, rocked him, and remained close to his side since he was brought up here.
My baby boy is a fucking fighter. He’s a little on the small side, but is holding his own. He hasn’t needed to be on oxygen, or anything else since just after he was born. They did all sorts of tests on him, hooked him up to all sorts of machines to better monitor him once he was born, and have been coming in every few minutes to check on him. My brother and Bronwan have been in here with me a few times as well. They’re the first two to see our boy. And they showed me how to hold him to my chest after removing my cut and tee-shirt because Bronwan said skin to skin is what he needs right now. It will help us bond and make sure he stays nice and warm from my body heat. I’m not gonna complain one bit about holding my boy against my chest while rocking in a chair close to where Brent is.
“Death,” I hear whispered from the door and snap my head up to find Judge and Gramps standing there. Neither one has come in the room yet.
Nodding my head at them, I don’t say a word as I simply stare down at the newest member of our family. My oldest brother and Gramps head straight for me and look down at their nephew and great grandson. He’s covered by a blanket and has a hat covering his head. They really can’t see much with his body pressed up against mine. At least until he turns his head slightly toward them.
“He’s fuckin’ perfect,” Judge says, his voice low so he doesn’t disturb Brent. “How are they doin’?”
“Brent’s pretty restless even though he’s sleepin’. It’s not a deep sleep like normal. He’s whinin’ and movin’ all about in there. This little guy is doin’ really good. He’s a little small but has already started eatin’ and passed all the tests they’ve done on him to make sure nothin’ happened durin’ the car accident and bein’ born early. He’s so fuckin’ strong and already provin’ he’s a fighter,” I tell them as tears fill my eyes at the thought of what could have happened. “I could have lost them all today. All fuckin’ three of them.”
“You didn’t, Nolan,” Gramps says, his voice gruff as he rests his hand on my shoulder. “They’re all goin’ to be okay. Have you heard anythin’ on Kelsey?”
Before I can answer, Kathy makes her way in the room. She’s got a tentative smile on her face and my heart starts racing once again. I don’t know if she’s got good news for me or is simply trying to make sure I don’t lose my shit with my boy in my arms.
“She’s out of surgery and in recovery now,” Kathy says as I take a closer look at her. Her scrubs have the blood of my ol’ lady on them and rage fills me at the sight. “Everything went better than expected after getting him out. Death, I’m going to give you a head’s up now so you can be there for Kelsey when she wakes up and hears the news for herself. We had to perform a hysterectomy. There were complications and we couldn’t avoid it.”
“What’s that mean, Doc? I don’t know about hysterectomy’s or anything like that.”
“It means she’ll never be able to have children again. Not by carrying them in her body. Your only options for more children are adoption or fostering. If we could have saved it, we would have. It came down to stopping the bleeding or letting her have babies in the future. Her life is more important than the ability to have children. She’s going to need you when she finds out, Death. All of you. I’ll go over everything once she wakes up and is alert. It’s going to be a little bit, but she’ll be brought up here as soon as she starts waking up. Just be there for her and your boys,” Kathy informs me.
“Kathy, is he in pain?” I ask, nodding my head toward Brent as he starts whining again.
“He more than likely is. We’ve been giving him medicine to help control it through the IV. I’ll see when his last dose was and give him more if it’s time. How’s this guy doing?”
“He’s fuckin’ perfect. I can’t wait for Kelsey to see him.”
“That’s really good to hear, Death. If you need anything at all, have them page me. I’m not going to be leaving here yet. I’ll be getting a little bit of sleep in the doctor resting area. I’ll be up in the morning to see Kelsey and check on the boys,” Kathy says, her voice whisper soft as she turns to look at Brent before leaving.
After a few minutes of silence, a nurse makes her way in the room and heads straight for Brent. She lets me know she’s giving him more pain medicine before doing anything. Yeah, she’s scared to death of me. After taking care of Brent, she comes over to check on my little guy.
“I’m going to bring a bottle in. He’ll be waking up soon and want to eat,” she tells me before rushing from the room.
Judge and Gramps laugh their asses off at how fast she’s leaving me.
“So, you gonna tell me my grandson’s name?” Gramps questions me.
“Don’t tell anyone else. My Half Pint wants to tell everyone at once. Not gonna deny you though. Gramps, Judge, meet Nyx James Whittaker. It’s the only name Kels and I could agree on.”
“It’s fuckin’ perfect,” Judge says as the nurse makes her way back into the room with a bottle in hand. She sets it down on the table next to me and scurries away once again.
In a matter of minutes, Nyx is stirring against my chest. He lets out a wail of hunger as I lift him from my chest and Gramps immediately steps up into my space. Gramps takes him from my arms and scoops the bottle up before starting to feed him. My boy sucks on the bottle like a little piglet letting me know he’s going to have a very healthy appetite. I hope Kels is ready for this because I have a feeling we’re going to be awake more than sleeping for our little guy.
Judge watches Gramps feed Nyx while I rest back against the chair. I’m fucking exhausted and there’s no time for sleep. Not when Kelsey still isn’t up here and my boy is awake. Once Gramps is done feeding Nyx, I change him and make sure the blanket is wrapped around his little body so Judge can hold him. My brother is all about the kids in our family. He loves holding them, wants to teach them everything he can, and will always be there for them no matter what.
It's not long before the door opens and a team of nurses wheel my ol’ lady in the room. Kelsey is awake but completely out of it. Looking at her, my heart shatters in my chest. What I can see of her face is covered in bruises and cuts, she’s got a fat lip that’s been cut open, her arms are both cut up as well, and those are only the injuries I can see from the blankets covering her up. My Half Pint looks so damn small in the bed.
“Death,” she breathes out, her voice a whisper as tears fall down her face. “I’m so sorry. I love you and I know you hate me now.”
Her words are smushed together as they rush out of her mouth. She’s slurring and I’m not sure if she knows what she’s saying right now. One of the nurses lets me know she’s still under the effect of the anesthesia and pain medicine they gave her. Still, I walk up to her bedside and lean over to press a kiss against the one spot of her face that’s not covered in bruises and cuts.
“Not mad at you, Half Pint. I love you too. When you wake up, you get to meet our boy. He’s so fuckin’ perfect, Kelsey,” I tell her as her eyes snap open and she looks around the room.
“Where are they, Death? Where are our boys?” she questions me, her voice full of panic and fear.
“Brent is the other side of you in the crib. Judge is holdin’ Nyx, Half Pint. Both boys are safe and no one’s ever gonna touch them again. No one’s gonna touch you again,” I promise her.
Kelsey’s eyes are already closing again. I highly doubt she’ll remember this conversation at all. I’m not sorry I told her I loved her and the words weren’t a lie either. If I were going to tell anyone I love them, it would be Kelsey. She gives me things no one else ever has before. My ol’ lady listens to me, loves me for who I am, and is strong enough to stand at my side. No one else will ever take her place and I’m not going to take a single second with her for granted. We’re a family and I can’t wait to make a million memories with her and our boys.
