Page 48 of Fear and Desire

“It came off for me yesterday and I stuck it back, but I couldn’t get it tight.”

He stood up, holding eye contact with her for an uncomfortable moment. “This is sharp. Really sharp. Would make an excellent weapon.”

She didn’t reply.

“In fact, I would expect that anyone who found this might try to use this on me, or someone else. Not warn me about it.”

She tried to change the subject. “Master, since this is the last day, is there anything you’d like to hear me play?”

He tossed the metal rung at the wall and strode over to her in a single step. He gathered her hair in one hand and pulled her head back sharply. She yelped and reached up with her hands to break his grip, but it was like iron.

“What I want is the truth. Why didn’t you try to use this on me or someone else?”

“I was too scared, Master,” she wailed.

“Bullshit. You might be scared, but you’ve never backed down before, and believe me, I’ve watched you. Tell me the truth, or I’ll whip you!”

She looked into his eyes. “No, you won’t,” she whispered.

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re one of the good guys.” The words came out almost too soft to hear. Her eyes darted to the camera. Had she already gone too far?

He caught her look. “Master 1 is gone and the cameras are in the office and locked up tight. DeLeo never watches this camera; he says you’re boring.” He stared at her for a long minute before releasing her hair and letting her head drop. He backed up a step. “And you think I’m a good guy because…”

“I figured it out from Laura.”

He scowled.

“No, Master! She didn’t say anything. I-I just knew you weren’t who you said you were, and then what shedidn’tsay made me realize something was going on, and I just figured it out.”

“So you can read minds?” He gave her a half-smile.

“Yes,” she said, letting go of the tension she’d been holding in her shoulders since he walked in. “I’m a psychologist. I worked with people who’d had major traumas in their lives. They’re good at hiding huge chunks of themselves to survive, and I’m good at helping them to uncover the truth.”

He nodded. “I have something in common with them, I think.” He grunted. “I need to know how much you’ve figured out, and if you can keep up the appearance one more day.”

She told him of the conversation she’d had with Laura and the promise she’d made to keep up the pretense. At the end, she was staring at the floor. She tried not to make her next question sound like an accusation, even though that’s exactly what it was.

“How could you let this go on for so long? How could you do the things you did to us? Don’t you realize it may take years—if ever––for us to get our lives back? This isn’t some kinky BDSM stuff we can put aside after a fun weekend!”

Instead of answering, he walked over to the wall and retrieved the broken chair rung. He bent down and inserted it into the holes on the legs, and banged the whole thing together. Then he turned and sat down carefully until he was sure the chair would hold. When he sat, he was knee-to-knee with her.

He picked up her hand. “Claire, I could tell you we had no choice, that Master 1—Dan—and I argued with our bosses about this for the last year, ever since we found out where you were hidden. I could also tell you it’s been killing the two of us. I’m not sure we could have gone on longer, to be honest. But what I’m really going to tell you is that I’m sorry. So, so, sorry, that we did this to you. We don’t ask for, or expect, forgiveness from any of you, just that you know that there will be a few less evil men out there than there were the day before, and it was because of you and the others.”

She sat, silent, and finally looked up at him. “If I give you my forgiveness, will you accept it?”

He reached out and brushed her tears away with his thumb, first the right cheek, then the left. Then his hand cupped her chin. She turned her head to lay her cheek in his palm.

“Claire, I don’t know exactly how things are going to fall out tomorrow and from then on.” He pulled his hand away.

“Is there a chance we could at least meet for something like coffee after this is over?”

“You’d want to see me again?” His voice held a note of wonder.

“I’d like to get to know the real–” She stopped. She didn’t even know his name.

“Josh. My name is Josh.”

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