Page 40 of Fear and Desire

“I’m going to dribble some in carefully.”

She tried to say, “please take this out for just a minute and let me drink like a normal person!” It came out so garbled she gave up mid-sentence. But he seemed to understand.

“Taking it out and then putting it back in is harder, trust me.” He tipped the bottle carefully into her mouth and she managed to swallow the cool fluid. He tipped more.

Eventually, she’d had enough, and shook her head the tiniest bit the contraption would allow. Dan recapped the bottle.

“Time to get faster.”

No!Her eyes sought his, and she tried to shake her head in protest. He ignored her as he pressed the button. The leisurely three seconds in and out suddenly became a much shorter bobbing movement, about one second long.

A speed much more pleasing to men.

Dancameinperiodicallyto give her some water. Inevitably, the break meant that he would increase the depth or speed afterwards, so it was with mixed feelings she greeted his returns. She was weary of the constant movement. Her throat hurt and her jaw ached. Her stomach was empty, and it alternated between growling and threatening to revolt. And she was incredibly bored.

She could take it deep enough now that it cut off her breathing for the moment it was in her mouth, but timing her breaths wasn’t hard.

“Now you’ll go down and stay down until I decide to let you come up. If you can accept that I have the right to decide when you breathe and when you don’t, and can stay relaxed, this will be over sooner.”

What the fuck? He has the right to decide when I breathe? The hell he does!She shot him a look of pure hatred. It didn’t matter. He flicked his thumb and down she went, only stopping when the dildo was in too deep for air to move past. She panicked and thrashed around. He regarded her silently while she strained and struggled. Then his thumb twitched, and she was pulled off as he ignored her gasps and garbled declarations of anger.

He waited dispassionately until her breathing had slowed. Another flick shoved her forward, and this time she gulped in air before she was impaled. But that air only lasted a moment before her adrenaline used it up, and once more, she was desperate.

At last, he pulled her back.

“Good,” he said. “You took a breath before going down. That’s a first step.”

She screamed out her anger in unintelligible syllables. In response, he sent her down. She managed to inhale before the thick length cut her off, but again the air was gone too soon and she struggled.

“Laura, if you can hold still for two seconds, I’ll let you up.”

She’d been so long without air by now that her struggles were almost involuntary, a desperate attempt to stay alive. He would not let her die, but the hardest thing she ever did in her life was make herself go limp for two incredibly long seconds.

Her head was pulled back, and she gasped for air, heaving, while tears streamed down her face.

Please,she tried to communicate to him,please, I can’t do this anymore. Please stop this!

His expression was unreadable. “Again.”

She took a breath of air as she went down. This time, she tried to hold herself still. Time crept by in agonizing slowness in the silent room. She lost control once more.

“No, Laura!” His sharp voice cut through to her. “Two more seconds!”

When he pulled her back up, she caught her breath, and then slumped as much as the damned machine would allow. There was no fire left inside her, and she refused to meet his eyes any longer.

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

There was nothing in her world except waiting for him to let her breathe, and then breathing until he decided it was time for her to stop. Once she turned her attention to remaining calm, she could last without air for as long as he demanded. And he seemed to know exactly how long she could hold still before losing control, and would pull her back before that happened. She began to trust him––a little. It didn’t change the fact that she was furious.

“I’ll be back.” He reset the machine to its incessant push-pull, only this time it paused deep for an eternity, before pulling her back to let her take a breath.

He walked out the door.

Each time she went down she gagged, until the overworked muscles in her stomach ached. There was no food in her stomach to come up, thank god. Once more, silent tears leaked from her tightly closed eyes, dripping down her chin and merging with the puddle already on the floor.

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