Page 3 of Fear and Desire

“That wasn’t a suggestion. Do I need to find someone who doesn’t have cold feet?”

“No, sir!”

“Dan, how long since you’ve had one of the girls? You’re awfully tense.”

“I don’t sample the goods, sir.”Because that’s called rape.“It keeps me focused.”

As ridiculous as it sounded, he wanted to keep himself untainted for Laura. Maybe when he was done, she could save him from the blackness he was going to carry with himself for the rest of his life.

“Your decision. But it might help you relax. Think about it.” DeLeo clicked off.

Dan cut the connection. He was not looking forward to the smirk on Marco’ face.

2

Laura:

“So,herAmpandGent are both due at two. Did I forget anything?” Laura rubbed her dry, scratchy eyes. It was a good thing she’d turned her patient over to the ICU staff; she wasn’t a very good nurse anymore, not after fourteen straight hours. “Oh, and the dad is with the baby right now. Mom hasn’t seen her yet.”

“I’ll call the nursery after I get things settled and see if they can come down.” The ICU nurse bent over the computer and finished ordering the lab work due in the morning.

“Thanks.” Laura returned to the small room one more time, to let the woman on the narrow bed know that she had to leave now. It was tough to let go of a patient after being with her for the last fourteen hours, first as she helped the woman deliver her baby, and then as Laura and the team worked to save her life.

The young woman, Cora, had come in with her husband, excited and nervous as all first-time parents-to-be are. And then, one after another, problems started. Cora developed a fever and an infection. The baby needed to get out as soon as possible. Laura got down on the floor with her as the panting woman knelt on her hands and knees, trying to get the baby to turn and descend. And slowly but surely, the baby moved down. The midwife stopped staring at the surgeon’s phone number and started breathing again. Laura finally pulled out the delivery equipment table, and shortly before her shift was over at eleven pm, Cora pushed out a healthy baby girl. Everyone stood back to breathe a sigh of relief.

Until she started hemorrhaging. From there, it had gone downhill fast. She needed a transfusion. Then another. The midwife called the surgeon, and they took her back to the operating room to find the problem. Laura had stayed way past quitting time, feverishly working with the midwife, the surgeon, and the rest of the team, until at last the bleeding slowed and Cora’s blood pressure had come back up. They’d finally been able to transfer her to the ICU.

She’d probably spend just two days here before going home. The ability of the human body to recover from trauma always amazed Laura.

She sneaked back into the room, weaving around the ICU staff, and ducking under the lines attached to Cora. The new mother gave a tired smile at the familiar face.

“I have to go now.” Laura took her hand and squeezed it gently. “They’ll take good care of you here.”

The woman nodded, the action seeming to take all her strength. “Where’s my baby? Is she okay?”

“She’s perfectly fine. She’s with Dad in the nursery, and they’ll come down as soon as you’re settled.”

“Does she have any hair? I didn’t even really get to see her before everything happened.” Her eyes were closed now, and her voice was sleepy.

“Yes.” Laura smiled. “She’s got a head full of golden brown hair.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll look in on you guys tomorrow.”

One nurse interrupted to attach a blood pressure cuff to her arm. With a last squeeze of Cora’s hand, Laura turned and left, making her bleary way back towards Labor and Delivery.

She stopped in the nursery. The dad was sitting in a rocking chair, holding his newborn daughter while she slept, the little girl thankfully oblivious to how close her mother had come to dying. He looked up at Laura’s approach.

“She’s getting settled in the room.” Laura smiled to reassure him. The poor guy was exhausted. “You can both go down in a few minutes.” She reached out to touch the tiny hand and smiled when the baby grabbed her finger.

He reached out to take her other hand. “Thanks,” he said, as he held it tight. She leaned over to give him a hug. Some days, she and her patients would be complete strangers at the beginning of a labor, but by the time they left, they’d remember each other for the rest of their lives.

She made her way to the break room, hoping there was something to eat. Finding only a half a blueberry donut left from the evening shift, she ate it in three bites while she finished her charting. She desperately hoped there was something in her refrigerator at home. Or maybe she’d just go to bed. That sounded even better.

“You meeting your guy for coffee tonight?” Melissa, one of the night nurses, leaned over the counter above of Laura.

“He’s not my guy. He’s just a friend. And no, I’m not. I texted him a few hours ago when I realized I was going to be really late.”

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