Page 46 of Fear and Desire

“What choice do I have?” She didn’t mean to sound irritated, but there was no point in examining her mental health right now. All they could do was pray that everything worked out. And then she would sleep for a long, long time.

Eventually, he nodded. “We need to get back.” He picked up the leash, and when he started to jog, she had to scramble to keep up.

Claire:

Claire had been using every technique she knew to talk herself out of the deep depression she was sliding into. They were all going there. The auction was looming, and the tiny amount of support they could give each other was going to disappear as rich men who bought slaves took them to God knows where, for God knows what. She tried to be a source of strength for the others, but her own well was running dry. She saw no options that weren’t drastic, and which had no chance of success.

Her piano playing had grown perfunctory, no longer giving her the emotional support she needed. When she entered the room, the metal folding chair that Master 2 always sat on was in her way. Out of irritation, she gave it a kick—and the slim piece of metal that ran horizontally between the front legs came loose. She gave it an experimental twist, and it came off. She held the long piece of metal with two sharp ends in her hand and stared at it.

If Master 2 came in here and found her with it, she was in for a world of hurt, no matter how nice he usually was. She quickly replaced it in the chair and sat down at the piano. She hoped no one was looking at the cameras right now.

But he didn’t come in at all, something which was happening more often.

How could she use the piece of metal to her advantage? Using it could be deadly, for him, and for her. But it was also very possible that death was better than slavery.

Justbeforebedtime,duringthe thirty minutes they were allowed to talk to each other, she huddled with Laura and told her of her find.

“What are you going to do?” Laura asked, wide-eyed.

“I will not let them sell me.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“I don’t care anymore. I can’t go on. Tomorrow, if he comes into that room, I’m going to use it on him. And either he goes down and I escape, or I go down, and honestly? I don’t really care anymore.”

“Claire! That’s not reality, and you know it! You’ll probably be wrestled to the ground and punished really bad. Don’t give up now, please! You don’t know what’s going to happen after the auction.Please.”

“How can you say that? You’re going straight into the arms of the devil himself! Your time here has been worse than anyone else’s. You cry every day, you’re covered in marks and bruises, and worst of all, someone you trusted betrayed you!”

“Claire, please…”

“Aren’t you terrified, too?”

Laura looked down, her hands clasped tight.

“You know something,” Claire stated flatly.

Laura wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

“Goddammit, you’d better tell me right now or I swear Iwillkill myself tomorrow.”

Laura took a deep breath. “You won’t be sold,” she whispered. “At least, the sale won’t be real.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Her voice rose loud enough that the other women turned to look at her for a moment before turning back to their own conversations.

“Shhh! The Farm is going to be raided by law enforcement during the sale.”

Claire sucked in her breath and stared at her in shock.

“Claire, your face—there are cameras everywhere.”

Claire dropped her face into her hands as though she were crying.

“How do you know this?” she demanded under her breath.

“I-I can’t say. Just please believe me and don’t do anything stupid before then, okay? Please.”

“Are you here undercover?”

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