Page 96 of Broken

“I’m ready mama.” I still call her mama sometimes. It makes her smile and I love it when my mom smiles. She didn’t smile a lot before last summer, but when she and dad got back together, she smiled all the time. Even on the saddest days, he makes her smile.

She helped me open the box and the plastic bag that was tied inside it. Mom told me that the ashes might fly up in the wind, and to close my eyes before pouring them into the water. I did, and when I opened them again, I stared at little gray and white flakes fluttering down and into the clear green-blue waters of the ocean.

We stood there for a little while, dad holding baby Noah and mom holding my hand. Aunt Dani held my other hand, and we watched silently as the waves pulled what was left of Grandma Layla out to sea.

We didn’t see Aunt Dani much since we moved. When mom got hurt, she came to stay with us at Nana's house for a little while. She stayed until mom came home and we knew she was going to be okay.

She promised to take a real vacation in a couple of months, for mom and dad’s wedding. She was going to be a bridesmaid, and mom made her promise to be there for everything. I was excited about the wedding. I was going to be the flower girl, and my dress was so cool. It looked a lot like moms but was purple instead of white.

I was going to be the only one in purple, aunt Mia, aunt Tess, and Aunt Dani all were going to have black dresses. Dad and uncle Cal and two of dad’s friends from college were all wearing black too. Even baby Noah and Nana were going to wear black.

It felt like we were standing there for a lifetime before baby Noah started to cry and mom and dad took him to the car so mom could feed him. Dad didn’t like mom carrying him right now. He said her tummy hasn’t healed all the way from the c-section she had to have when he was born.

Aunt Dani and I stood there watching the waves for a little bit after they left, and then she walked me back to the car and promised to call soon. We did talk on the phone a lot, especially when I was having a hard time adjusting to the new town and new home.

She always reminded me that I had two parents who loved me very much and a big family of aunts and uncles who would do anything for me. She said that’s why she stopped calling me trouble and started calling me Lucky.

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