Page 22 of Broken

"Can we forget that ever happened?"

"No way. You are badass. I'd never been so proud of you before that night, Sin." His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

Kai had never been so close to me, not like this at least. I couldn't breathe. I froze in place, and I didn't want to move even if I could. Something in his eyes warmed me and made my heart race.

I couldn't find words. I should say something, but what? The last time I had been this close to another person ended in the most epic disaster in the history of disasters. I couldn't tell Kai every detail, because if he knew, he would run on the spot. There would be no road trips and holidays together.

"Sinclair, I need to kiss you." I didn't notice when Kai cupped the back of my head with one hand and caressed one of my hands with his other. "Please say yes."

I tried to think, my mouth attempted to form words, but no sound came out. So, I nodded, my lip firmly between my teeth as I gnawed nervously.

In the blink of an eye, his mouth claimed mine. This was amazing! Nothing like the last time. Nothing like the kisses Adam had given me. No, this was light, warm, and bright. Everything I needed.

Unsure what to do, I followed Kai's lead in the kiss. He moved my hand that he held up around his neck and I followed suit with my free hand, dropping my heels on the wooden step.

My body was no longer in my control. It acted on pure instinct, on the need to be filled with this light that Kai had, this warmth that was new to me.

I needed him as much as I needed water or air.

He let go of my head and wrapped both arms around my waist, lifting me and carrying me to the wicker loveseat with the tattered cushions that had been under the awning of the porch for as long as I could remember.

He sat down first and placed me on his lap, my dress slid up to my thighs as my legs opened so my knees rested on the outsides of his legs.

"Fuck! I've wanted to kiss you for as long as I can remember."

I was so shocked by his words. They came out in a whisper against my lips. Why me? I didn't know what to say, but I needed him to keep kissing me. So, I answered him with a kiss so hard my lips hurt.

There was something else, something inside me that was hot, and needy. I needed more from Kai. I needed the one thing I was the most afraid to give to anyone.

My hips started to move on their own over his lap. Grinding against his growing erection, seeking it out. For the first time in my life, I had the need to be filled.

The fear and pain of being touched lingered in the background, but something in Kai, his gentleness, and his light chased away those fears and soothed the pain of the past.

I whimpered against his mouth when he put his hands on my hips to steady me.

"Sin, please... you have no idea what you're doing to me."

"Please, Kai." I wasn't sure if I whispered or thought the words. "Make my darkness go away" I cried.

I woke in my hotel room, my cheeks and pillow soaked with tears. I remembered prom night, the best night of my life.

After that, Kai and I pretty much spent every single night up to graduation together. I stayed at my mom's more, and he would wait until dark to sneak in through my bedroom window. We never discussed what happened between us, never put a label on it. We never even told Mia. I didn't think his brothers knew, but Callum never said anything when I saw him, and Noah was away at school.

We talked a lot about college, and Mia working for her parents. We worried about leaving her behind but knew she would be okay here.

We would come home for Thanksgiving, and she would be in charge of the whole damned town.

Right before graduation, I found out I was pregnant, and that changed everything. At first, I thought nerves were making me sick. I finally found a little happiness in all the darkness of my life and didn't want to lose it. Then when my period didn't come at all in May, I started to panic.

I should have known that fate wouldn't allow me any form of happiness. I didn't deserve it. I caused every failure and every hurt that the people I loved most endured.

So, I made the decision to leave. I chose to cut everyone here in Lakewood off and start a life as far from them as possible. It kept them safe, their lives happy and perfect, and it kept everyone, Aine included, from the darkness-filled monster who consumed anything good in my life. Aine was the only one immune to my darkness, her and Dani.

I didn't regret my decision, at least not until I came home yesterday. Seeing Mia, Noah, and Kai yesterday, and kissing Kai last night, I would regret coming back here. I got ready to meet Mia and Tess, eat breakfast with them, and attempt to salvage Mia's trust in me. Hopefully, I could fix my relationship with her, and I prayed she understood why I did what I did.

I showered, dressed, and called Aine like I promised I would. I told her about her aunts, Mia and Tess. If I'm being honest with myself, and if I'm going to lie to everyone else, I care about, I need to at least be honest with myself.

There was no way in hell Mia and Tess would let me get away with having a daughter, and them not being a part of her life.

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