Page 17 of Broken

"Like I said this morning, it doesn't matter anymore, right Babes?" I didn't think she would understand why I did the things I did. I couldn't talk to her here, with Noah, or with Tess tomorrow.

I sighed and looked at Noah and back to Mia. I was so fucked, and not in the way I liked. I slumped down to the ground and was on the brink of another breakdown when Mia wrapped me in her arms for one last hug.

"I'm sorry Babes. I am sure you had your reasons for everything, and I want to hear them all. Now isn't the time." She was right. I was unsure of my reasons held up now.

I nodded; I needed us to move on. I couldn't bring any part of Aine into this home. If I mentioned her name here, it would taint her, and send the demons and darkness after her.

"Breakfast. I'll tell you everything, I promise." Coming back here was a horrible idea.

I walked them out while Mia told me that Kai finished his residency and they were celebrating at the local bar, owned by Callum.

She insisted that I join them, but the uncomfortable look in Noah’s eyes gave me the impression that I was already an interloper, and it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

I loved Mia for wanting me to be a part of everything, even if she was angry with me. I was grateful for how easily she forgave and wanted things to be like before. But I understood that I didn't belong in this world. I gave it up, I walked away.

I thanked her for the invite but declined, claiming that I was emotionally overwhelmed and just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. Noah gave me a slight smile, in quiet thanks, and I nodded my understanding.

After some hugs and an obligatory "Don't be a stranger" from Noah, they left. There was definitely something between the two of them. Whatever it was, I hoped they found happiness with each other. They more than deserved it.

ten

Sinclair

Iwalkedbackintothe house, the kitchen empty of anything worth donating, so I decided to take this time alone to really look around. Not much changed in the house. It didn't surprise me.

My mother still had the same old bedframe in her room that was there for as long as I could remember. She upgraded the bedding though. The fabric was clean and devoid of cigarette burns. A couple of boxes sat on the bed. Someone obviously packed them before I got here today. I needed to go through those later.

A part of me wasn't ready to see my own room on the other side of the house. My heartbeat was faster than normal as I walked down the hall. The ghosts from years ago cried for me from the shadows. They echoed the yelling as my father dragged me through this same hall, tears down my tiny cheeks because of something I did wrong.

My bed sat, neatly made in the corner of the room. A new comforter and pillows covered the mattress. The posters I hung on the walls weren't there, but my mother put up framed pictures of old celebrities like Greta Garbo, and Gene Kelly. A copy of Andy Warhol’s painting of Marilyn Monroe sat above the bed. Over my dresser hung a silhouette of Audrey Hepburn from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

It was all a little creepy. Almost like my mom prepared the room for me to come home at any time. Had things been different, if I had been a better daughter, and made my parents love me, if I hadn't left home never to return, I might have chosen these pictures, this decor for myself.

Why? Why did she do all this? She hated me. She reminded me daily about how everything was all my fault. I ruined her marriage and was the reason my father went away. I drove her to drugs because I took everything from her. So why did she do this? Why did she want me around her?

I was done fighting this darkness inside me, my anxiety and anger. Time to stop hiding from the ghosts in this house. I wanted to let go. I stopped caring about what others thought. I stopped caring about all of this years ago. I wanted everything to be destroyed. I wanted to tear the posters down like I had been torn down and broken.

I ripped the Gene Kelly movie poster off the wall. Then, I reached for the small jewelry box on the dresser. Where the fuck did that come from? My parents never gave me anything so girly, so pretty. The trinket came from whatever little shop she got the other decorations from. I threw it against the wall and the wood split, and the small box fell to the floor.

That was amazing! I picked up the next item closest to me and flung it. After I managed to destroy any and all small objects in the room, I went back to work tearing down the framed posters. I stopped at the Audrey Hepburn picture. Something reached deep, past the darkness like a bright light.

I thought about that night, right after we moved to Palm Springs, Aine had been sick, and Danielle brought over a copy of Sabrina, on DVD. Aine loved the movie. She said she loved how, although Sabrina had always loved David, she fell in love with Linus at the end. She said she thought Linus always loved Sabrina.

I didn't smash the picture. I set it aside to take home to Aine, and then we would have an Audrey Hepburn movie night and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday, and My Fair Lady.

"Well, I'm glad to see you let out some of your aggression." Kais's voice carried over my shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" I turned to face him. "I thought duty called, and you had to work."

"It did, and I did. And now, I'm done. I had plans tonight and saw your car still here when I drove by." He walked towards me slowly, a predator stalking its prey. "I thought I'd check to make sure you were okay. You didn't lock the front door, Sin."

"Or you were making sure I didn't set the house on fire." I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. He didn't bother to mention the little party he had.

"Sinclair." Kais's deep, low voice moaned my name. Little bolts of heat shot down my back and settled deep in my belly. This was not good. I couldn't be turned on right now, by his voice.

I mentally told my lady bits to calm the fuck down and promised to take Eric up on his offer of a second date when we got home. If they behaved.

"Kai don't. You should go." My voice was soft and shaky, biting at my lower lip.

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