Page 78 of Broken

"Come here, baby." Kais's voice was low, husky. I was fully aware of Cal and Millie being so close to us. I leaned in, closer to Kai and the pool. "Kiss me, Sin. I know the look on your face. Let me chase those ghosts away."

My heart melted, and I kneeled to kiss him. I should have known better though. The Carter boys, all of them, were nothing if not pranksters. the second our lips touched, Kai took the opportunity to wrap his arms around my chest and pull me into the water with him.

We went under, his lips not once breaking from mine. I was pissed, but my body reacted on its own. My arms wrapped around his neck, my legs around his waist. I loved this feeling of weightlessness with Kai. For the briefest moment, we were caught up in our own private universe. My mind went back to the incredible sex we had earlier. I wondered what it'd be like to fuck him here, in the pool.

As if he were thinking the same thing I was, he slid a hand down my back to cup one of my ass cheeks, and his middle finger grazed the slit between my pussy lips. I moaned against his mouth as we broke the surface of the water.

"With Aine at Riley's, I get you all to myself for one more night. Worth the sacrifice." Kai smiled against my lips, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Get a room you two!" What the hell? I turned my head to find my daughter standing next to Cal, grinning, and shaking with laughter. I quickly pushed Kai away.

I thought Aine was in the apartment, or I'd never let her see me kiss Kai. I never let her see me with any of my one-night stands. That was my one rule. Kai wasn't a one-night stand, but the guilt remained.

"Hey." He grabbed my arm, stopping me from swimming away.

"Kai." I sighed. "This is all too much, and too fast."

I got out of the pool and took Aine upstairs to help her pack for her sleepover.

forty-five

Sinclair

Riley'smomofferedtobring Aine home early enough to say goodbye to her family before they left in the morning. Now Kai and everyone else made plans for a night out. I didn't know if I wanted to go out. The last time I had a 'night out', I puked all over a guy, twice. Granted, I'm pretty sure there was something in my drink, but the experience still left me a little apprehensive.

Danielle pulled me aside and told me she invited Joel, as her date, with the stipulation that Eric was explicitly not invited to join us. I told her I thought it was a bad idea, but if it made her happy, I would be okay. I loved Danielle. I thought something might bloom between her and Tess, but she liked Joel, and it wasn't my place to judge.

Hell, look at the mess I called my love life. I went from having anonymous one-night stands to a full-blown relationship in less than a month. It was too much for me, but if I pulled away, the people I love would be the first to get hurt.

I didn't feel like going out tonight. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry to myself. So much had happened over the past month. So much emotional baggage dumped in my lap, my own emotional baggage but I thought I left everything behind me when I left Lakewood years ago.

I loved my daughter more than anything in this world. She was my reason for living. Why I worked hard to finish college and find a well paying job so I could give her everything she needed. Watching her today with Kai and his brothers, I realized I kept her from so much. I kept her from having a family. I kept her from knowing her father.

She deserved more than I could ever offer her. But was I selfless enough to make the sacrifices to give her all that? Would I be able to let her go? Let Kai go? I spent this month lying to myself, lying to Kai. I did want what he offered. But I didn't deserve his love or forgiveness.

Even as kids, Mia had a way of sensing what went through my mind. She walked up and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her

chest for a tight hug. "I want you to be happy Babes."

"Why are you telling me this?" I rolled my eyes. She used to joke that she had this sixth sense when it came to my emotions.

"Because you look lost. Like you're about to run away again." She released me from her embrace and looked me in the eyes. "I know you have got to be overwhelmed by all of this with Kai. And if you don't want to be with him, say so. Rip that fucking Band-Aid off Babes." "Mi. It's complicated." I sighed.

"Sinclair. We've covered complicated and messy, and painful more times than any other group of friends. You love Kai he is madly in love with you. But he was one of your best friends before your lover. If you don't want to return his feelings, let him go now and save that friendship."

Salty little drops raced down my cheeks. She was right, Kai didn't deserve to be strung along until I had the courage to let go. "What if I want to give him what he needs but can't?" Only Mia knew my true, real fears. What if I couldn't return his love without ruining everything? "Babes, you can. It'll be scary at first, but you can."

"How?"

She laughed. "Babes, you told Aine to ask her dad about a sleepover. You kissed him in front of all of us. You love him as much as he loves you, but you haven't realized it yet." She stopped laughing, her face took on a serious expression. "But if you decide to let him go, I will support you. I will tell you now, I think letting him go is the worst decision, but I will stand by you."

"Thank you" I whispered and hugged my best friend.

We took an Uber to the club, some new up-and-coming place that offered the VIP experience for a minimal fee. Noah thought the club would be the best place for us. Pay the fee for the VIP area and have a little privacy.

We were a large group and when we all pitched in, the cost of the VIP treatment was small. Free drinks, and a private sitting area that had enough space to accommodate all of us. His idea worked out well and made it easier to sit and talk over drinks without having to yell. Joel met us there a little later than planned. He had an argument with his brother, apparently. He said that I owed Eric an explanation as to why I ghosted him the past few days.

Uh, no thanks. Because of whatever happened the other night, any alcohol still made my stomach twist and turn. I hadn't been able to keep much down in the mornings until late afternoon. I didn't tell anyone I was still dealing with the effects of whatever got slipped into my drink because I didn't want the added attention.

---