Page 92 of About Last Knight

“I love you too, but I think you may be better off without me. Maybe we should part ways. It’s for your own good. I tend to self-destruct. I don’t want to take you down with me. You’re too good for that. You deserve better than that.”

I shake my head. “Sorry, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to be without you ever again. You’re the one for me. I’ll never feel for anyone what I feel for you. I know that. I have no doubts this time around. But I want you to get some help. Your lows are too low. You have to learn to cope. You have to learn to forgive yourself for things from the past, and better control your actions and emotions moving forward.”

He takes a deep breath. “I can’t be medicated.”

“I know, but you can talk to someone and figure out how to manage your emotions. How to let go of your past baggage. You need more than just a sponsor. He’s not enough. He’s not equipped to deal with everything. You need a mental health professional.”

He’s silent for a moment, but eventually says, “Okay. You’re right. I’ll do it.”

I look at him in shock. “Okay? Did you actually just agree to something I asked you to do?”

He smiles. “How about I’m the boss of your body and you’re the boss of my mind.”

I smile. “That sounds good.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Six Weeks Later

Declan

I’m on my way to pick up Jade from Amanda’s house. Next week she’s going to start living with me three days a week, but today we have something important to do. Something a long time in the making.

I waited six weeks to do this because I needed to spend a little time on myself. Okay, a lot of time on myself. I’ve undergone some pretty intensive daily therapy for the past few weeks. Melissa was right. I need to learn to better cope with my lows. I also need to forgive myself for some of my past actions. Those are the things I’ve been working on.

I’m feeling better about everything. For the first time ever, I have some clarity in my life. I’m looking forward to the future, not fearing it. Scott’s letter helped me release a lot of the guilt and regrets running on repeat through my mind. I’ve spent so long assuming he didn’t want me to reconnect with his family. Knowing it’s the very thing he did want has changed me and lifted the weight of my sins that I’ve been carrying for so long. I’m ridding myself of those demons and giving in to Darian’s offer to welcome me with open arms. To welcomeuswith open arms.

I also reached some clarity on my relationship with Melissa. I already knew I was completely in love with her, but now I know without any doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know she wants me too, and that means everything. I’m going to do my best to be the man she deserves. I’m also learning that I can’t be perfect every day. Some days things won’t be ideal, but I know she’ll still want to be with me the next day.

My therapist thinks I rely on her a little too much, that I potentially traded one addiction for another. She may be right on some level, but I refuse to see my addiction to Melissa as unhealthy. Being addicted to drugs and being addicted to the woman you love are not the same. Maybe I’ll toe a line there, but I also know that my passionate need for her is something she likes. I’ll figure out that balance as I go along. I’ll always be a work in progress, and I’m finally okay with that.

I arrive at Amanda’s house and she opens the door immediately. “Hey, Dec. She’s really nervous about today. Try to keep her calm.”

I swallow. “Me too. But they’re awesome people. They’re excited to meet her. They’ll be incredibly welcoming to her. Are you sure you don’t want to come? She may need you.”

She shakes her head. “No, you do this with her. You can handle it. I trust you.” She has no idea how much that means to me.

Jade walks to the door. I smile. “Are you ready, honey?”

“Yep. Let’s do it. Let’s go from single in the city to the Brady Bunch in the burbs.” I smile.

We’re driving in the car. She looks over at me. “I just want to make sure I have this straight, Dad. Melissa’s ex-husband is married to my Aunt Darian, who used to be married to your brother, Uncle Scott?”

I nod. “That’s right. It’s just a crazy coincidence.”

“I have three girl cousins, Harley, Reagan, and Skylar. Two are married. Their husbands are Brody and Carter. And Harley has two children, Scotty and Ellie.”

I laugh. “I see you’ve been studying your family tree.” She smiles as she nods. I squeeze her hand. “You’ve got it. They’re all beautiful, smart, and funny, just like you. So there’s no need to be worried. They’re great people and they’re thrilled to meet you.”

“Okay. I’m nervous but excited.” I see her deep in thought for a moment. “What are Melissa’s sons to me?”

I take a breath. “I wanted to talk to you about that. I’d actually like them to be your stepbrothers.”

It takes her a second for that to register. I see the smile break out on her face when it does. “You’re going to ask her to marry you?”

I nod. “I am. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course. I love Melissa. She’s good for you, Dad.” That’s certainly true. “And I’ll get three brothers, their spouses, and their kids. I’m going from barely any family to an enormous family. I can’t wait.” She looks like a kid on Christmas morning right now.

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