Page 87 of About Last Knight

“I forgive you. We forgive you.”

Darian starts moving toward Declan. I pull away from him to give them their moment. She hugs him and he stoically hugs her back. He’s hurting. He’s trying to hide it, but I see it. I know he’s beating himself up inside right now.

I look at Jackson, whose tear-filled eyes mirror mine. He gives me a small smile.

Darian pulls back and returns to her spot with Jackson. She looks at peace. Declan doesn’t.

I reach for his arm. I need to get him out of here. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Why don’t we get going? You and Darian can make plans to continue your conversation another time.”

Darian nods. “We do have more to discuss, Declan.”

He nods. We all get out and towel off. Declan and I gather our belongings and say good-bye.

Jackson shakes Declan’s hand but pulls him in close and whispers something to him. Declan then whispers something in return to Jackson.

When we get in the car, Declan’s silent. He’s not okay. I can tell. He almost looks haunted right now.

I break the silence. “What did Jackson say to you before we left?”

Without taking his eyes off the road, he answers, “He told me if I break your heart, he’ll break me.”

That’s kind of un-Jackson-like. “What did you say back?”

“That I’ll do the same if he ever hurts Darian.”

“I know you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “There’s nothing to discuss. I abandoned my family when they needed me the most. It’s been my M.O. for a long time.”

“I really don’t think Darian sees it that way.”

“She’s just being nice. That’s exactly what happened. I’ve done the same thing to everyone I’ve ever loved.”

“Do you think that maybe you should call Freddie? It’s been a pretty emotional day for you. It’s a lot to handle.”

He shakes his head. “No, I saw him this morning when you were sleeping. I’m fine.” He’s definitely not fine.

“I think that maybe…”

“I said I’m fine,” he yells out. “Let it go. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m not a good person. I never have been. I’m fifty. I’m not going to change now.” He mumbles, “If you knew what was good for you, you’d let me go.”

I can’t help the tears building in my eyes. I turn away so he doesn’t see me. He’s going to self-destruct over this.

As soon as we walk into my condo, he practically attacks me. In some way, I knew this was coming. I knew he’d need this connection as an outlet for whatever storm is building inside of him right now.

He picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. He tears my clothes off of my body and I let him do whatever he wants to me.

We go at it for hours. It’s all over the place. It’s rough at times, and softer at others.

I can feel his tears through much of it, though he whispers words of love and need constantly. But when I wake in the morning, he’s gone. The only thing remaining is a note on my pillow.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Declan

I look at Melissa sleeping. As always, she looks like an angel. She is an angel.

I softly rub my hand down her cheek. She stirs a little but remains peacefully asleep. I love her so much. Enough to know that I’m no good for her. I’m no good for anyone.

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