Page 86 of About Last Knight

He looks between me and Jackson. “Is this weird for the two of you?”

I smile. “I’ve been watching the two of them go at it for nearly four years. It’s only fair for them to get a dose of their own medicine.” I reach up and softly kiss Declan’s lips.

Jackson and Darian laugh.

Jackson shrugs his shoulders. “Honestly, it’s not weird for me. I’m incredibly happy, and I want Melissa to be happy too. She deserves it. She’s sacrificed enough of her own happiness in her life for the sake of others.” I smile at Jackson in both sadness and gratitude.

Declan looks at Darian. “You’ve done a great job with the girls. They’re each amazingly impressive. All in different ways. I wish he could see them. He’d be so proud of them.”

Darian nods. “Thank you, but he was a big part of that. I know you hadn’t seen them since they were little girls, but they were all adults when he died. Young adults, but adults. He was a hands-on, incredible father. He equally molded them into the dynamic women they all are. He missed nothing while he was alive, and he still manages to give them guidance and love in death.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he knew his father and grandfather died young of heart disease, and knew of the possibility that he would too. You’re lucky you don’t share the same genes from that side of the family.” Declan nods. I hadn’t remotely considered that.

“Unbeknownst to me, he prepared for his death. He wrote many letters for each of the girls that they receive at different milestones in their lives. I’ve chosen to keep the milestones a secret, but when they reach them, I give the girls their letters. I still have a pile of them in my safe. I can’t begin to tell you not only what it means to the girls to get them, but how well they hit the mark. He knew what to say to them and when they’d need to hear it. It’s almost spooky.”

Jackson smiles. “He helped Darian too. She turned me down when I originally proposed to her. She felt like she was betraying him in some way. The girls had a letter from Scott that he entrusted to them. It basically released her. It gave her the permission she felt she needed to fall in love and get married again. He valued her happiness above his ego. I’m forever grateful to him for that.”

I didn’t know that. How incredible. Tears well in Darian’s eyes. I look up. Declan’s too. He wipes them before asking, “How did the girls take it when you started dating Jackson? Were they upset?”

Darian shakes her head. “Actually, no, not at all. They adore Jackson. They very much encouraged our relationship. I was alone and unhappy, and then this wonderful man came into my life and turned it all around. They saw that he made me happy, and they valued that over anything else. They formed immediate bonds with the boys.” She smiles. “They embraced the Brady Bunch jokes. They all spend time together even without us. I think Reagan considers Trevor one of her best friends, and Skylar and Hayden have grown particularly close lately.”

She looks up at Jackson. “Obviously they know full well who their father is, but they do come to Jackson now and then when they need some paternal advice. Reagan and Carter have very much relied on him for their upcoming business decisions, and Skylar now works for him, though she’ll be leaving to work for Reagan soon. He’s been wonderful all around for us. No one sees it any differently.”

Declan’s silent. I imagine he’s not loving the fact that the girls see Jackson as a father figure. He’s undoubtedly kicking himself for not stepping into that role.

Darian asks him, “Once you got clean, why didn’t you come to us? We would have welcomed you back with open arms.” I’ve actually been wondering the same thing all day.

Declan takes a deep breath. “Honestly, the first few years of sobriety were shaky for me. My first priority was trying to build a relationship with my daughter. I had rarely seen her the first seven years of her life. She’s extremely stubborn and didn’t make it easy for me. I had so many ups and downs, and nearly lost control again and again. For whatever reason, I had it in my mind that I needed to hit the five-year mark before I could consider coming to you guys. I didn’t know if Scott would believe that I was sober. I felt like I needed to prove I could actually stay sober for an extended period before you’d allow me back in your lives. It was at the three-year mark that he passed. That’s the day I came closest to relapsing. I bought the drugs. They were sitting in front of me. I was about to take them when the fire alarm went off in my building.” He lets out a small laugh. “I swear I thought it was Scott stopping me.”

Despite the tears in her eyes, Darian smiles. “It was.”

Declan nods. “After that, I was just ashamed of everything and basically too much of a wimp to come to you. I also felt like it was too late. A little underhanded. Like I was only doing it because Scott wasn’t around to stop me. I honestly wasn’t sure if you’d welcome me.”

She swallows. “We would have.” She pauses for a brief moment. “I wish you were at the funeral. So many people spoke about him. He was so loved.”

Declan squeezes me under the water. “I was there, Darian.”

She looks shocked. “What? I didn’t see you.”

He shrugs. “There must have been over a thousand people there. I just stayed in the back. I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself. I didn’t know how I’d be received. You looked like you were barely upright. I think Cassandra physically held you up the whole time.”

Darian nods. “She did. For a long time. Well beyond that day. We can give Cassandra all the crap we want for her mouth and crazy antics, but at the end of the day, there’s no better friend or person than her.”

I’ve come to a similar conclusion. Cassandra is definitely crazy and has a mouth, but she’s an amazing person. She’s truly become one of my closest friends.

Darian continues, “I was pretty lost for a long time after he died. I just couldn’t function properly. I forgot to do my most important job, to be a mother.”

Declan shakes his head. “I doubt that.”

“No, it’s true. I can admit that. I was completely caught up in my own grief. Cassandra was a better mother to them those first few years. She was their only true parent for a long time. I can never repay her for what she did for my girls and how she was there for them when I couldn’t manage it. It wasn’t until Jackson came into my life that I really began to escape from my self-imposed prison. Again, that’s because Cassandra forced me to get out of the house to meet people. I wouldn’t have met Jackson if it wasn’t for her, and he completely changed my life for the better.” She looks up at Jackson with so much love. He returns it.

I look up and see tears streaming down Declan’s cheeks as shame clearly washes over him. “I’m so sorry. It should have been me. I should have been there for you. I should have been there for the girls. Typical selfish Declan. Dealing with his own problems. Not considering your needs.”

Darian shakes her head. “I meant what I said earlier, Declan. We don’t control the past. We do control the future.”

He shakes his head. “The things I’ve done are unforgivable.”

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