Page 91 of About Last Knight

He puts his head back down into my chest and I hold him close. I look over at Darian and she winks at me. Fucking winks. I have no clue why or what that means.

She gets up and goes over to her bag sitting on the ground. She looks through it and pulls out an envelope.

She sits back down on the ground next to us. She touches his arm. When he lifts his head, she holds out the envelope. “He left this for you, Declan. He knew the day would come that you’d show up sober and ready to rejoin our family. He was ready for it.”

Declan and I both look at the envelope. It reads,For Declan, When You Come Home.

Declan’s eyes widen and his back straightens. “For me? He left something for me?”

She smiles and nods. “Yes, Declan. He loved you. He wanted you to get well. He wanted you to come back to us. I haven’t read the letter, but I know Scott. I know this letter will prove that he knew you’d get better, he forgave you, and that he wanted you to come back to us.”

She hands it to him. “Read it.”

Declan looks like he’s in shock. Tears stream down his cheeks. He turns to me. His voice is shaky. “Will you read it to me? I…I don’t think I can.”

I nod and Darian hands it to me. I tear it open and begin:

Declan:

If Darian’s giving this to you, it means one thing. You’re clean. I knew this day would come, brother. I’m so proud of you.

Losing you is the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. It’s my biggest regret. I hope you know how hard it was for me to let you go. I hope you understand why I had to do it. It had to be done for my growing family. For my four angels.

One day you’ll find someone to love. One day you’ll have children. I know it will all happen for you. Maybe a little late, but I have faith that you’ll get there. You’ll know what it feels like to be willing to do anything to make them happy and keep them safe. You’ll understand why I had to make this sacrifice. I hope you can forgive me. Know that I never stopped loving you and believing in you.

Know that you never strayed far from my thoughts. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you and what you were doing. Not a day that I didn’t wish you would show up at our door and tell us you’d done what was necessary to come back to us.

If you’re reading this, I’m not there. But if you’re reading this, it also means that you’re clean and you came back to our family. Darian, Harley, Reagan, and Skylar are your family. I need you now more than ever. I need you to watch over my girls. Protect them. Love them. I want you with them. I want you in their lives.

Darian always had a soft spot for you. I have no doubt that she’s welcomed you back with open arms. Take what she gives you and come back to our family. We forgive you for everything that happened. We love you so much. We just want you home and safe.

I love you, brother. Welcome home.

Always,

Scott

The three of us are snotty, sobbing messes. I didn’t even know Scott, but I can recognize what this letter must mean to Declan. I’m so happy he has it. I’m grateful to Darian for bringing it to him.

Darian reaches over and kisses Declan on the cheek. “Welcome home.”

She stands. “I’m going to give you two some privacy.” She mouths to me, “Are you okay?”

I nod and mouth back, “Thank you.” She smiles, and then turns and leaves.

He presses his forehead to mine. We sit in silence as we breathe and share the same air for a few minutes. He wipes my tears and I wipe his.

I’m not going to force him to talk. I think he needs to let the weight of that letter sink in before he’s able to have a conversation.

Though I don’t think I can get any closer, he manages to try to pull me as close as possible to him.

He eventually breaks the silence. “Do you want to know why I couldn’t do it? Why I couldn’t take the drugs?”

“I do, but only if you want to tell me. You don’t have to. I can call Freddie if you prefer. Whatever you need.”

He shakes his head. “Because of you and Jade. I love you both so much. I couldn’t do it to you. I couldn’t hurt you. I need you both so much. I can’t imagine my life without either of you in it. Do you think that makes me selfish?”

I shake my head. “No. Of course not. We both need you too. It was selfless for you not to take the drugs.” I softly kiss his lips. “I love you Declan.”

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