Page 71 of About Last Knight

He’s silent.

“I’m not going to apologize for having money, Declan. Jackson and I both sacrificed a lot for that to happen. But money is something I have, not something I am or something I care all that much about. Have I gotten used to having nice things? Sure. How could I not? But it doesn’t remotely factor into what I’m looking for in a man. I don’t know or care about how much money you have.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t keep you in the lifestyle you’re accustomed to.”

“I’m not asking you to. I can manage that aspect of my life just fine. That’s not what interests me about you.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m with you for your money.”

“It never even crossed my mind. I’ve dated a few men where it did. Never once have I thought of it with you.”

He sighs. “I’m not good enough for you. I never will be. You deserve someone who’s not as fucked up as I am. Someone without baggage. Someone who treats you well. Someone who can give you the kind of life you want and deserve.”

“That’s for me to decide, not you.” I run my hands up his broad chest, and this time he lets me touch him. I look him in the eyes. “I’ve dated those guys.Lotsof them. They didn’t do it for me. I didn’t want them the way I want you.”

I take a long, deep breath as I stare into his eyes and prepare to say something I’ve never said before. “Declan, I’m in love with you. I don’t care about money, your past, or anything else. I love you for the man you are now, and I want to be with you. I love that you’re different. I love that you’re flawed. Your dash of crazy is everything I never knew I wanted. I need it. I need you. You know I’ve never been in love before. You know these words mean something to me.”

He swallows. “You love me? Really?”

I whisper, “Yes, I do. Very much.”

He returns my embrace as he brings his forehead to mine. “I love you, too.” We stand there in silence for a few moments with our faces inches apart.

At some point, he pulls his head back up. “Do you trust me?”

I nod. “Of course I trust you. Completely.”

He motions his head over to the portrait studio area of his apartment. “Show me. Let me photograph you the way you know I want to.”

I close my eyes for a brief moment. I cornered myself into that one. I know what he’s doing. He’s testing me to see if I truly trust him. I’m quiet for a moment, but I know the answer. The simple fact is that I do trust him.

I open my eyes and whisper, “Okay.”

A smile breaks out on his face. “Okay? You trust me enough for that?”

I nod. “I do.”

He pulls my head back to his and kisses me deeply. I wrap my arms around him. It’s so good to have him close again. I feared I may have lost this. I can’t believe how much I missed him last night.

We eventually pull apart. He rubs his hands on my face. “Take off all of your clothes and put on your silk robe. It’s hanging in my bathroom. I’ll get everything ready out here. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

I nod again.

I make my way to the bathroom. I take off all of my clothes and look at myself in the mirror as I touch underneath my eyes. I really wish I had gotten more sleep last night. I’m glad my boys at least made me shower.

I throw on my robe and try to freshen up my face a bit. I put on a little make-up and brush my hair.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I take a few deep breaths and give myself a pep talk. I want to be confident. I’m fifty-two, not twenty-five. I’m not one of those women who tries to dress young or generally tries to look like something I’m not. It’s okay if I’m not perfect. I think I look pretty damn good for my age. Despite Declan’s past with younger women, I know he’s attracted to me. He’s never, for one second, made me feel anything other than beautiful. I’m going to put on my big girl panties and own this.

Declan

I’ve pulled the room darkening shades down. The studio lights are set up, but they’re dim, not too bright. I moved the sofa and a chair over to the portrait area. I want to create a relaxed, comfortable, sensual atmosphere for her.

I have two cameras hanging over my neck while I anxiously wait for her. I can’t believe she’s trusting me to do this. I want it to be perfect. I know she’s nervous, but I want her to enjoy it.

She eventually walks back out to the living area looking gorgeous, breathtaking. I don’t think she realizes just how effortlessly sexy she is. I want to make her feel that today. That’s my only true goal.

I walk over to her, grab her hand, and kiss it. “You’re so beautiful. Thank you for trusting me. It means everything.”

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