Page 56 of Mine To Take

“It’s not a big deal. I was bored. I needed the amusement.”

“Yeah.” He gestures for another drink. “Tell yourself that.”

“I’m…”

Nick raises a hand. “I’m not going to argue with you or tell you what to do. You’ll do what you want anyway.” His drink arrives and he glares at the contents as if they have offended him in some way.

The topic of my short marriage is a little sore between us anyway. He still thinks if I had listened to him, Cora would not have left, or that if I had gone after her, things would be different. I never told him what she did. I never let him know the true extent of her betrayal. Now, I wonder why. Why had I felt that I needed to protect her?

And now, what do I really want from her?

Maybe I just wanted to see you.

When I said those words at the gala, I’d realized with a weakening clarity, how true they were. I just wanted to see her. Even without the possibility of punishing her, of rubbing my success in her face, or confronting her with her betrayal. The truth is, I have a deep longing, to see her, to be around her, to hear her voice.

I have to get rid of the longing…the unending yearning, but I don’t know how.

I haven’t seen her since that night.And if I have any sense, I wouldn’t try to see her again. What’s the point, anyway? Even if I could punish her, and make her beg on her hands and knees for my forgiveness, what would be the point?

Nothing.

Except that the image of her on her hands and knees fills me with potent, uncontrollable lust.

I shake the image out of my head.

“Are you going to tell me what happened in Italy?”

Nick starts, looking up at me as if he’s just remembered that I’m seated across from him. “What?”

“Did you meet someone? Is that why you’re so moody? Did your Shrek heart finally meet its Fiona? What happened?”

“Ugh.” He looks pissed. “Not everyone falls in love in Italy, Tristan, and I’m not a lovelorn sap like you. I can assure you.”

I’m not a lovelorn sap,I want to reply.Cora is just a distraction.But he won’t believe me, and to tell the truth, I’m not so sure I believe me either.

CHAPTER26

CORA

“Our best minds are building apps that are so similar they could well be the same. Another video chatting app. Another media sharing app. More efficient communication is desirable, of course, but we haven’t even scratched the surface of the many ways new technologies can make real and incredible changes to the way we live.”

The video is from five years ago, when we were still married. Tristan is speaking at a tech forum, his words measured, his confidence and passion undeniable.

Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I watching his old videos, scrolling through his pictures on search engine results, unable to stop thinking about him?

I pause the video and change tabs on my browser window, landing on the announcement on the Mercer homepage about the donation from Tristan.

Sighing, I read the full announcement. It’s short and to the point. Anyone else, and it would barely merit any extra thought at all.

But it’s Tristan.

So, I can’t stop thinking about what it means.

Not that there’s any other evidence of his reappearance in my life. It feels almost like a fluke. As if whatever momentary spark of interest brought him back to taunt me fizzled out in a matter of days.

I haven’t seen or heard from him since the fundraiser.

I shouldn’t care.

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