Page 19 of Taking His Diva

“When I got back from the interrogation, Scott tried to comfort me. Make me something to eat. He wanted to talk and rub my feet. Make me feel good. But how could I let him do those things when I felt so dirty? I don’t deserve his kindness and affection. I’m a spoiled brat who’s never known a real hardship in my life. Poor me, my daddy never really loved me.”

Disgusted with myself, I stand from the chair and pace Marci’s small kitchen. “So instead, I needled at him until he gave me the dirty things we do together. I thought if I got down on my knees and then antagonized him into spanking me, that it would prove that, I don’t know, that’s what I’m good for maybe. But it backfired. Even when I’m trying to prove that I’m only good enough to suck cock and take pretty pictures, he still made me feel cherished and worshipped…”

A sob breaks free, and I realize tears are burning a path down my cheek. My hand goes to my stomach, the nausea I’ve felt since this afternoon roaring to life all over again. “…worthy, loved. I don’t deserve any of that. So, I ran out. I left while his cum was still dripping down my leg. And I ended up here, where I knew I would find someone who does hate me.”

That’s it. That is why I ran to Marci, not because I thought my friend would forgive me or offer advice. I need her to hate me, to push me away and say all the things she threw at me all those weeks ago. But she’s not. She’s looking at me with pity and tears in her eyes.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yes, you do.” The accusation is screamed from the top of my lungs. “I’m ugly and only care about myself. I treat people like commodities. That’s what you said, right?” I suck in a deep breath, willing the tears and the pain to go away.

“I did say those things.” Marci climbs to her feet, crosses the kitchen, and wraps her arms around me in the tightest hug I’ve ever experienced. “But I said them about a girl who is not thesame one standing in front of me now. And wasn’t the same girl I bonded with over Veronica Mars and rocky road ice cream in college. Whether it’s the case or Scott or something else, you have changed.” Marci braces her hands on my shoulders and pushes me back, so she can stare directly into my eyes. “But even if you hadn’t, not even at your worst, did you deserve what your father is putting you through. Just like those girls in the pictures you saw don’t deserve what he is doing to them.”

This time, it’s me who pulls Marci in for a hug. I cling to her like she’s my life raft in the middle of the sea.

“The worst part? A part of me still loves my father. Still wants him to acknowledge me and to love me back. How fucked up is that?” I wipe at Marci’s shirt where I’ve left tears, and yeah, probably some snot, too, with how hard I’ve been crying.

“I don’t think it’s fucked up. It’s natural. You’ve spent your whole life trying to get his attention, to win his approval. That isn’t going to go away overnight.” Marci smooths back my hair, wiping at the tears on my cheeks.

“Can we be friends again? Maybe you could show me how to be a good person?” I sound so pathetic, but at this point, what do I have to lose? I probably freaked out Scott so much, he’ll never want to touch me again.

“I’d like that. And I haven’t always been the best person either. Just ask Micah about the first night we met.” Marci laughs a little as her eyes twinkle. “We’ll work on it, together. Deal?”

“Deal.” I look down at my shredded feet. “Can I also borrow some shoes?”

“Yes. And the first lesson in being a good person?” Marci gazes at me with humor and sadness all mixed up. “Warn a girl before she cleans your foot that probably had jiz dried on it.”

We both laugh and hug tight to each other once more. But even with as much peace as I feel right now, I need Scott’sarms around me. Knowing I left him naked and probably scared shitless at home makes me anxious to get back to him. He’s become part of me these last few weeks. Filled a hole in my life I didn’t realize was there. I need him.

Forever.

Chapter Ten

Scott

I’ve never been so terrified in my life. I’ve spent three hours scouring every place I could think of. The shops Lacy’s been helping with promotions. Her old apartment building. The coffee place she loves down the street but refuses to let me get her drinks from because she doesn’t want to be a kept woman. After I exhausted all the places I knew she’d visited over the past few months, I started just wandering around, hoping like hell I would find her.

Thank god she called and asked me to pick her up. I take the stairs two at a time up to the apartment of her so-called friend. Lacy’s told me all about the speech her friend gave her, and I’m not sure I like this girl all that much. Who dumps their friend for a date? Sure, Lacy can be a brat, but she’s also so much more than that. I’ve only known her a relatively short time, and I can already see that.

Finally, I skid to a stop in front of the door and pound on it. Lacy swings the door open, and we both collapse in on each other. Holding her is the most natural thing I’ve ever experienced. As if I’m made to wrap my arms around her.

“I’m so sorry I ran. I panicked.” Lacy’s crying against my chest, and her tears damn near rip my beating heart from my chest.

“What happened, Lace? I can’t fix it if you can’t tell me.” I pull back, cupping her gorgeous, tear-stained face gently in my hands.

“Scott, you can’t fix this. I promise I’ll tell you, but I just poured the whole story out to Marci, and I can’t do it again right now.” Her hands come up to grip my wrists, then she pulls my hands away and kisses one palm then the other. “But I promise, I will tell you everything.”

That will have to do, for now, so I simply nod and check her over. “What happened to your foot?”

Lacy giggles a little. “I remembered why I never go barefoot anywhere. Cut my foot on the way up the stairs.”

“You two wanna come in? Micah is on his way with food.” A curvy redhead appears behind Lacy with a smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Marci.”

We shake hands, and she starts to give me that look, one signaling she’s trying to place where she knows me from. This can’t happen right now. I cannot be recognized and outed before I even have a chance to come clean to Lacy.

“We should get going, get you home and rested.” I wrap my arm around Lacy’s shoulder and squeeze her to my side.

With wide, pleading eyes, Lacy pulls me closer to the apartment. “Can we please stay just a little bit? Marci wants to introduce her boyfriend to Veronica Mars, and I haven’t watched it since college. Have you seen it? Vintage Kristen Bell.”

---