Page 30 of Hot Mess Wedding

But then, instead of talking, he paces a few steps, before turning back to me. He runs both his hands over his hair in a way that makes me think he’s nervous. That this huge, strong man is nervous about what he’s about to say next.

I uncross my arms.

He blows out a breath and finally starts talking. “All my life the only thing I’ve ever known is that the man in my family are a bunch of assholes who tend to drink too much. My father was like that. Eventually drank himself to death by pickling his liver. By then he was too frail to pound on me and my brother, Zane. Well, in truth, I’d gotten bigger than him by my fourteen birthday so he hadn’t laid hands on me since before that.”

“I’m so sorry, Ian,” I say.

He shakes his head. “No, don’t feel sorry for me. My grandaddy was a selfish asshole, too. Stepped out on my granny too many times. Probably why my father was such a shit husband. So the truth is I’ve never wanted to get married. Never wanted to be someone’s husband. I’ve always expected that that was the kind of man I’d become. I didn’t ever want to treat a woman like that. Never wanted to bring kids into that kind of relationship.”

I open my mouth to speak again, but he kneels in front of me and puts a finger to my lips.

“Let me finish.”

I nod.

“I learned something recently though. Thanks to my younger brother. Like a true older brother, I’ve always seen Zane as a bit of punk kid. But the truth is, he’s a man devoted to one woman and has been since he was seventeen. They met and that was it for him. He didn’t think they’d ever be more than friends so he forced himself to be satisfied with that. Because he loves her that damn much.”

Both Cassia and Paige are sniffing behind me which under other circumstances might make me chuckle. But the earnest expression on Ian’s face is everything.

“If Zane can wait for his Emmy for ten years, then I will wait for you as long as it takes.”

“As long as it takes for what?” Paige asks in a whisper.

Ian’s lips quirk in amusement. “I want you to see me not as a ride on the wild side. A way to play at life without fears. I want to hold your hand when you’re afraid and wipe away your tears when you’re sad. I want everything with you, Cleary. But only if you want me, too.”

“What do you mean a ride on the wild side?” I ask.

“I know that’s what part of your Vegas trip was about. Proving to yourself that you’re brave. So you went to live a little. The tribute to the Brazilian, all of it. And honestly, I’m glad you want to be brave. And you should get to do all the wild things you want. But I want more than that. I want tobemore than that for you.”

Now it’s my turn to hold out my finger to his lips to stop him from talking, because I need to fix this, but my heart feels so fully suddenly, it takes me a second to get my words right.

“You’re correct about some of that. I’ve been afraid of so many things for my entire life. What I learned this weekend though is that next to you, I can’t feel the fear as much. You quiet those thoughts in a way I’ve never experienced. Even better than the Xanax,” I say with a grin.

He nods, but doesn’t say anything else.

“When you left the bed yesterday, telling me you knew you couldn’t be what I wanted. What did you mean?”

“That I couldn’t be your one-night-stand. I won’t settle for anything less than your whole heart and all of forever.”

“Oh my God, I’m stealing that for next book!” Paige shrieks.

“No you’re not, we both agreed last time that when the next opportunity happened, it would be my turn!” Cassia says.

I stand and whirl around to them. “Neither of you are stealing my real life grand gesture. Now go home before I call my brothers and tell them you’re both in labor.”

Paige’s eyes narrow. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Cassie comes to her feet and pulls up Paige. “Let’s not try her. Besides, I think they have some more making up to do.”

I turn back to Ian who is now standing. “My brother’s fell in love with those two crazy ladies in less than twenty-four hours. I never expected the same for me.” I come to my feet too.

“But?”

“Then my real-life hero stepped on to the plane and rescued me,” I say, pushing him backwards towards my bedroom.

His eyes narrow. “I don’t want this to be about some weird coincidence that you think I look like some fictional guy in your head.”

“You are so picky.” I keep moving him in the direction of my room. We’re almost there.

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