Page 18 of Hot Mess Wedding

Wendy gives Ian all the information and I just stand there like he normally handles me and all my comings and goings.

I bet he could handle my comings.

Shut up, Lola!

chaptersix

IAN

After the book signing, we have a late breakfast because according to Cleary, the best foods to eat out are breakfast foods. I’m inclined to agree with her. Now she’s got color back in her cheeks and she’s smiling. There are plenty of other people from the conference at surrounding tables and apparently news of our recent “marriage” is already making the rounds, because writers and readers at other tables are sending us adoring smiles.

I thread our fingers together because I can. It’s all lies. It’s still a show we’re putting on for the audience. I know that much, but still, I’m going to enjoy this while it lasts. I couldn’t stop myself from touching her, even if I wanted to.

As long as she believes we’re married, I’m going to treat her like my wife.

That’s the moment, right then, that it hits me.

The idea of keeping her. Of grabbing hold of Cleary and not letting her go. Of convincing her that we should get married. For real.

Not just as a misunderstanding. Not just as part of some stupid lie for some piece of jewelry that I don’t give a shit about.

All my life, all these years, I’ve believed I wasn’t built for relationships. That I wasn’t the marrying kind of man. I’d believed that I would be a shit husband, because my father had been a shit husband.

I come from a long line of shitty men. Restless, hard men who skate the law, fight in bars, and drink too much. At least, that’s what my mom said when she left us. “I should have known better than to marry a manlike that.”

And, yeah, I guess I could have blamed her, because she was the one who left us, but somehow I never did. Dad drank too much and hit harder the drunker he was. Fuck, I would have gotten out if I could have. If I hadn’t known that without me to drag his ass out of bed, Dad would have drunk himself to death that much faster. If I hadn’t had my younger brother Zane to worry about.

But, speaking of Zane … that little fucker might be annoying as hell, but he has the same parents I do and he turned out alright. Better than alright, if I’m honest.

He doesn’t drink much and he wouldn’t hurt a fly, despite the fact that he looks like a punk—he might have even more tattoos than I do. Despite being raised in the same house as me, he’s a good guy. He’s been in love with the same girl since he was seventeen—his best friend, Emmaline. And even though she wasn’t ready for a physical relationship, he actually waited for her. I don’t know that for sure, but I think he was celibate for years waiting for her.

So, yeah, I come from a long line of asshole men who destroy everything they love. But if Zane can break that cycle for the right woman, who’s to say I can’t?

All I have to do is convince Cleary that I’m a man worth sticking around for. And then convince her to marry me for real.

All of which might be harder than it seems.

Yeah, I know she’s attracted to me. I’ve seen the way she looks at me. I’ve felt the spark between us every time we touch. But her words from the taxi keep coming back to me.

About how she’s tired of being afraid and she wants to be brave. About how she got a Brazilian for the trip. Yeah, she wants me, but she also just wants to lose her virginity and there’s no way in hell I’m down for that.

Taking her virginity? Yes. Walking away from her afterwards? Hell, no. Letting her walk away from me and go back to her normal life? Again, hell, no.

I can tell already that once will not be enough with this woman. A lifetime won’t be enough with her.

All of which means the line I have to walk here is pretty damn thin.

I have to convince her of how good we’ll be together, and I have to convince her that I’m worth sticking around for.

I’m still wondering exactly how I’m going to pull this off, when a reader stops at our lunch table. It’s a woman who bought a book earlier and she stops by now to fan girl.

It’s adorable watching how flustered Cleary gets having so much attention.

The woman is about to leave when she glances down and notices the ring.

“Wow,” she says. “That’s a gorgeous ring.”

Cleary blushes even more. “Yes. It’s certainly … big.”

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