Page 98 of Told You So
He nods slightly. I know he doesn’t want me to leave, but it’s not like I won’t still be around all the time. “Let me guess, you read out of your science encyclopedia?”
He nods again and picks at the dinosaur’s tail.
“Well, no wonder you did so well. You know it by heart.”
When he doesn’t engage, I finally turn to him. “Don’t be sad, J. I’ll still see you every day, like I always have. I’m still going to pick you up from school and help you build your jungle—”
“I’m working on a boat now.”
Though to anyone else, it’s an insignificant thing, to me, it’s all the world. I’ve always wanted to build a boat, and finally, he’s letting go of the jungle and giving it a try. “All right, then. I’ll help you with your boat—but only if it has a mermaid,” I add.
His face scrunches.
“Hey,” I say and step over to him. I tug at his shirt. “This will be good for you and Mom. She wants to spend more time with you. Besides, this way I can be the bad influence and take you out for ice cream when you’re with me.”
Jesse’s blue eyes finally find mine but only for an instant. “Promise?”
I smile. “A cross-my-heart sort of promise. Okay?”
He nods with a little enthusiasm this time and hands me his T. rex . “You can take him, if you want,” he says. “His tail’s broken, but—”
“I wouldloveto, J.” I kiss his cheek. “He’s always been my favorite.”
“I know.” His eyes don’t leave the toy in my hand. “I was going to give you the triceratops, but...” The fact that he would part with any of his toys at all nearly brings tears to my eyes.
“If you ever change your mind and want him back for a little while, you know where to find him. Okay?”
He nods slowly, thoughtfully. “Do you think Nick wants one?”
My eyes widen. “I think Nick would love one, if you want to part with another. You know how he feels about the classics. Dinosaurs areveryclassic.”
That earns me a smile, and Jesse drops his hands to his sides. “If you each have one, you could keep them together.”
“Yes, we could.” I eye him quizzically. Jesse might never say it, but it’s obvious he’s grown attached to Nick already, which makes me so happy. “Why don’t you go pick one out for him? You can give it to him when he comes back with more boxes.”
Jesse turns without a word and shuffles into his bedroom. With a sigh and a happily aching heart, I turn back to my clothes scattered around and heave out a breath. I have a hundred things to do this week, including the GRE exam and finishing up Professor Murray’s project. I have work and a calendar filled with things to do with Jesse, not to mention unpacking at Anna’s. But, somehow it doesn’t feel overwhelming like it usually does. Maybe it’s the fact that I feel like, for the first time in my life, I’m not so alone. Maybe it’s the fact that I have Nick, and life, despite its craziness, finally feels...right.
The floor creaks outside my bedroom, and I smile. “That was quick. Which one did you decide on?” I glance over my shoulder to find my dad, standing in the doorway this time. His hair is a little mussed, which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen, and his hands are in his pockets. There’s a darkness under his eyes I’ve never noticed until now, either.
“You’re home,” I say. “I thought you didn’t come back until tomorrow?” I can’t remember the last time my dad was upstairs, let alone in my bedroom.
His mouth draws into a regretful smile I don’t expect, and he nods. “Your mother and I spoke this morning about a few things, and I decided to come home early.”
“Oh.” It’s surprising, but then again, so much about my dad is surprising the more I learn about him. I’m not sure if they talked about a divorce, my journal, Jesse, or all of the above.
“I figured I should be here if my daughter’s moving out of my house.”
I don’t say anything because I can’t think of anything worth saying.Yes. It’s true. It’s better this way. I honestly didn’t think you’d care.Nothing feels adequate.
“Bethany,” he says in a low rumble. It’s beseeching in a way I’ve never heard from him. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”
Meeting his glassy gaze, I feel unwanted tears in the backs of my eyes. The fact that he’s even up here talking to me is huge. Now, an apology?
“I shouldn’t have pushed you so much. I should’ve realized something was wrong and gotten you help with your schoolwork. Dyslexia—”
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “You didn’t know.”
He shakes his head and peers down at his feet. “No. It’s not.” The weight of his regret constricts my chest and burns the back of my throat, forcing me to swallow.
