Page 42 of Bite of the Gargoyle

“Of course,” he responds with that consoling smile. “But would you not like another set of memories to live along those you’ve already made? A set of memories to help explain who you were in the past?”

I don’t know what to say to that so I don’t say anything at all.

For a moment I feel as if I’m standing in a dead woman’s shoes.

Chapter Thirteen

“So, what now?” I ask.

“Now you’re safe,” Balor replies with a shrug.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. My monsters—and I know you’re not comfortable with them and their manners certainly leave something to be desired, but they are good at keeping unwanted visitors away.”

“So…” I amend, “I’m safe for as long as I stay here.”

Balor pulls a face. “Yes. I suppose that is true. I sometimes forget that others do not have my restrictions. I can’t go anywhere. You can. Except… you can’t… as Derith will find you.”

“He hasn’t actually done anything to harm me,” I point out, something which isn’t strictly true; Derith did imprison me. Twice. Yet, I still can’t help but wonder which of the brothers I can trust, if either of them. The truth could be along the lines that both of them are lying to me to further their own ends. Actually, that’s most likely the story.

Further, there’s one other point I’m foggy on—was it Derith’s or Balor’s face I saw that day when my family was taken from me? The moment I saw Balor, I could have sworn he was their killer. And, yet, I felt exactly the same way when I first came across Derith. Is it possible they both were there that day and I only remember there being one person, one killer? But, no, that’s impossible. I feel that truth deep down in my bones—there was only one man. I just don’t remember if that man was Derith or if it was Balor. I suppose with the finishing of one year after another, one’s memory can grow clouded on certain points.

“No, Derith may not have harmed you,” Balor admits. “But Derith poisoned your mind against me and he didn’t do that for nothing. He has a plan. I am sure of it even if I don’t know what that plan is yet. I believe he intends to use you to get to me, and I don’t know what that would mean for you.”

“Wasn’t bringing me here a bit of a risk then?” I suggest.

For what seems like the first time, Balor smiles. “I would take far greater risks to see you again, Suisse.”

“Jo.”

“Jo—perhaps I shall call you Suisse-Jo.”

He smiles. I don’t. “If anything, you should call me Jo-Suisse.” Then I shake my head. “Actually, no, just call me Jo.”

He nods. “Regardless, it has been too long.”

There it is again. That slight tremor of wrongness that I feel inside me. It tingles in my wrist where I was bitten all those years ago. The memory of that night feels vaguer by the moment; I know what happened, but the details blur, the faces are indistinct. I’d just said that Derith had done nothing to harm me but if Balor is telling the truth, then Derith harmed me more than anyone else in my life ever had or could.

“Of course, you can leave if you wish,” Balor hastily adds. “I’m not trying to keep you here, Sui-er Jo. I just wanted you to hear my side—the truth—before you were any more under Derith’s control.”

“I’m not under Derith’s control,” I correct him.

He nods again. “Yes, of course, I apologize. Anyway, now that you’ve heard my side of the story; the choice is yours. If you do decide to leave the Shadow Dark, just be careful. I could not bear to lose you again.”

I wish I could be sure of just whom to trust. But right now, Balor is the one asking the least of me, putting no restrictions on me, the one offering to let me go. Whereas I was a prisoner to Derith, I’m not to Balor. And that does say a lot.

“I would like to leave,” I say, finally and thoughtfully as his expression falls. “But I will be back. There are just some things I’d like to check out for myself.”

“You intend to find him and confront him?” asks Balor with concern.

“I don’t know.”

Balor shrugs. “In the old days, you always did as I asked of you. Now you have lived another life and become a different person; stronger and more independent. I loved you dearly back then but I cannot imagine you ever going out to face a monster alone.”

“I’ve been doing it for years.”

“I know,” he gives me a rueful smile. “It is an adjustment, that’s all.” Then he claps his hands together and gives me a smile. “If that’s what you feel you have to do then, of course, that is what you must do. I would offer to go with you, but I think I know what your answer would be.”

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