Page 5 of A Harmony of Procellarum

“Well, we can get reacquainted as Deluge tries to figure out exactly who took you and why.” He walks to the small armchair in the corner of the room, across from a queen-sized bed. He drops into it as I slowly spin, taking in my surroundings. “You’re in the holding area of a place of worship,” he supplies as he leans forward, his elbows hitting his jean-clad legs. “Not a church in the sense you’re thinking of.”

“Why am I here?” I exhale as I sit on the bed. I should be scared and I know I should be feeling something beyond this heartbreak, but I can’t. Being at the mercy of the Order again feels like nothing compared to the devastating revelations about Squall. “I thought the Order was out to kill you guys. Are you as much a prisoner as I am?”

“More so,” he mumbles, but then his eyes meet mine. “You’re here because it was ordered for me to do so. I am here because I was deemed more useful here than inside a mental institution.”

“You’re working for them again?” I shake my head. “Why are you always deceiving the people who care about you?”

“Because I have something inside of me.” His hand presses to the center of his chest. “Something possessing me and telling me if I do as I’m told, I will be eternally worshiped. Who wouldn’t want to be revered forever?”

He’s making no sense and it’s adding to the apprehension I’m feeling about how we ended up here. Why am I being pulled in if not for nefarious reasons?

“Why am I actually here?” I ask again, this time the words are spit from between my clenched teeth.

“Because where you go, he’s sure to follow,” he says as his forked tongue slips along his lips.

“And what do you want to do to him? Or is it all of them?” I swallow down the fear that’s collecting in my stomach and working its way up my throat.

“To be honest,” he shrugs, “it’s probably all of us. I don’t know, I don’t care. I’m tired and I’m ready to meet my fucking maker, whoever it may be.”

Loving Beginnings Orphanage - 1988 - Torrent

It’s been five weeks since I killed Father Robert and watched the demon leave his dead body and slip into mine. Five weeks of very little sleep and not wanting much to do with my brother or the others.

Haynes spent a week in the hospital afterward from trying to kill himself. He says he felt like everything was his fault, that if he hadn’t even come here maybe things would have been different. I suppose he could be right, but honestly, I believe I was meant to kill that evil bastard. When he got back from the hospital, I was obsessed with his wounds for days. Just looking at them proved to me how weak we are as humans, how the thin skin of our bodies does nothing to protect us from a blade. It reminded me how mortal we really are, but with this demon inside me, I believe I am stronger than them all.

Haynes has been spending all his time with Shereen, trying to repair the damage Father Robert caused, but she’s looking like an empty shell. Just like the rest of us. Sval has been quiet, but he sits with me every day, paying more attention to me than my own brother does.

Don’t they see what’s now living inside of me?

I scoop a spoonful of my gray porridge and shove it in my mouth, forcing the slimy gruel down my throat. The orphanage has been quiet since Father Robert has been gone, and even though I can see we’re all relieved, we’re still sitting on pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The nuns watch us with masks of contained anger. I can see it shining in their eyes. Especially Sister Jane. She found me that night, covered in the priest’s blood and brains, and when she dropped to her knees to pray over his body, I laughed and walked back to my room. Now, whenever she looks at me, I can see the wheels turning in her mind. She wants to punish us, but she’s fearful.

She should be.

“They watch us all the time,” Sval murmurs as he tips his head forward to swallow another mouthful of porridge.

“They’re worried we’ll kill them next,” I boast as I give him a small smile.

“That’s not funny, Victor,” he scolds, his head snapping around to look at me. “You can get in trouble at any time. You never know what they have planned.”

“I don’t care if I get in trouble. He deserved it.” I drop the spoon into my bowl and curl my hand into a fist. “I would do it again and again.”

I will never forget what that man did to me and my friends, what he put us through because he was a nasty pervert. I will let no one do that to me again.

“Sister Jane looks angry,” Sval continues, raising his voice a little to be heard over the children’s chatter. “Yesterday, she turned off the shower early and I still had soap in my hair. When I said as much, she told me to deal with it.”

“Do you want me to kill her, Sval?” I ask just as Raiden sits across from us, his face darkening with anger.

“Stop talking like that, Victor,” he hisses. “We have a few years and then we can leave this place. We’re finally free of him.”

“Because of me,” I remind him. “I did that for us, remember that.”

“Victor—”

“I killed that asshole! Not any of you! I did what my older brother didn’t have the balls to do!” I begin to raise my voice, the room quieting around us.

Raiden stands up, his jaw ticking with anger as his green eyes fill with fury. “Shut the fuck up!” He reaches across the table to grab the front of my shirt, the material nearly ripping in his grip.

---