Page 10 of A Harmony of Procellarum

“She was a blonde, on the fuller side, and she was a cunt,” he sneers, the words like bricks in my stomach. “I’d say you’re a dead ringer.”

He turns away from me, his shoulders swaying as he walks back to the bed and flops onto the mattress, his stomach hitting the blankets with awhoosh.Torrent doesn’t know the hole he’s punched into my heart; doesn’t understand how I am bleeding out all over the floor with his simple words.

Squall has made it no secret of how much he despises his mother for what she did to him as a child. For abandoning him to a vile and evil place. So hearing that I look like her, like the one person he was supposed to be unconditionally loved by, but instead discarded, makes me feel like I’m about to be sick.

“I can hear your panic.” He rolls over on the bed to look at me as he props his head up on his arms. “What did you think it was? True love?” And then he’s laughing at me as I spiral into the depths of despair, not caring how fatal each of his blows are. “Any way you could keep that shit to yourself? I need rest for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” I dare to ask as I approach the chair again.

“A target I need to take care of,” is the answer I get before he falls back into a deep sleep, not feeling threatened by me at all.

Or he just doesn’t care whether he lives or dies.

SQUALL

The sign on the outside of the building says Enlightened Records, the same looming structure the four of us stared up at when we were barely adults. Now that I’m here alone and wiser, it doesn’t feel so omnipotent. It’s no different from the other commercial buildings lining this street, but it’s what’s inside that sets it apart from the others. I can feel the energy seeping out of the structure, the waves of power all-consuming and begging for my attention.

It’s what drew us in from the beginning, and now we stand more broken than when we were in possession of our souls.

I try to dig deep inside of me, to see if I can feel Tiny in there anywhere. I’m hoping that even though we aren’t bound by the sacred mark, that maybe our hearts are intertwined regardless of silly belief. My hand instinctively presses against my left pec, knowing there’s nothing silly about what’s carved there. I’ve always been attuned to Victor, his thoughts, his feelings, and all of it is a jumbled mess of emotions. I have tried my best over the years to be his grounding point, to make sure his mind stays here in the present, but I’ve been failing these last few years.

My own memories are beginning to resurface, the ones I’ve kept buried inside and forgotten so I could survive. It’s hard to wake up in the morning with the lingering fear of my teenage self still working its way through my mind, or to force myself to stay awake so I don’t succumb to new tortures from past experiences.

I know each of my brothers suffers in silence. We all have our demons, and then there’s Torrent who believes he is one. I can honestly say the foundation of abuse was built in that orphanage, but this building in front of me fostered it further into our adulthood, manipulating us to believe we needed to kill or be killed.

I’m no longer that man who first stood here with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I’ve become a ruthless killer, a depraved man, and it’s time I used that to my advantage. I reach to grab the door handle when I hear a loudtskbehind me, making me pause as a chill runs up my spine.

“I wouldn’t go in there unless you’re looking to get yourself killed. If that’s the case, I’ll do it for you.”

I turn at the sound of his raspy voice, my heart thudding with heavy beats as I lay eyes on the man who has a claim on my heart. He’s leaning against the brick, wearing the same trench as the night he took Tiny, and his hood obscuring most of his face. But when that tongue slips out from between his lips to wet the plush surface, I nearly groan with need.

“In here,” he says as he motions for me to follow him into the alley.

My eyes eat up his form. The way he walks with an exaggerated swagger, his hands buried deep in his pockets, and how he smells, are all intoxicating. I fist my hands to keep myself from reaching for him, to haul him into me, and to let my senses be overrun by all that is Torrent. My heart longs for his turbulent storms, but my body is weary of the destructive aftermath.

Still, I follow the stone-cold killer into the alley and the shadows drape over us immediately. If he was instructed to kill me, he could do so easily and with little resistance from me.

“What do you want, Squall?” His voice is laced with exhaustion and it’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he’s sleeping okay. We all suffer with the past and we all find it manifests when we’re at our weakest points. During sleep. “Well?” He crosses his arms over his chest and I swallow at the sight of his long, tattooed fingers.

“Pull down your hood,” I demand as I step closer, my eyes squinting to see past the shadows dancing along his jaw.

“Squall, if you want your stupid woman to wind up dead, then you are doing everything right,” he sneers.

“Is Tiny in there?” I point toward the front of the building. “If they have her to lure me, then here I am. Let her go and take me instead.”

“I don’t know why she’s here, but no one wants to lure you guys.” He shrugs a shoulder just before it hits the brick wall. “No one speaks of you here.”

“Why are you here? Can you get her out?” I take a step toward him, hoping he hears the desperation in my voice and takes pity on me.

“I was brought here too,” he simply says, his voice low and even. “I have work to do, and no, I cannot free your woman. Unless, you would like to see me crucified?” His head tips to the side as a dark chuckle escapes his mouth. “Would you want that, Sval? Then you could be free of our branding to be withher.”

“I don’t want either of you to die,” I try to placate him. “But I need to understand what it is you’re doing here and why you took Tiny. Don’t make me choose, Victor.”

“Because it wouldn’t be me you’d choose. Am I right, Sval?” he whispers as his arms drop to his sides and he steps closer. “Answer me,” he hisses.

“You know how I feel about you, how I’ve always felt about you. That will never change, but she doesn’t deserve to be punished for our mistakes.” I want to reach out and run my fingers along the graying stubble at his jaw, to grip the beard on his chin and drag his mouth to mine. I never did have much restraint when it comes to him.

“She told me you call her names when you’re fucking her,” he says, his body stiffening. “Sounds all too familiar.”

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