Page 31 of Texas-Sized Scandal

She’d said it.

She owned it.

“I love him, but he doesn’t love me. Okay. But I can’t stop loving him.”

Oh, man, she was losing it. But there it was. That was the truth. Regardless of what happened with their engagement, she was probably going to love Slade for the rest of her life. And she had to find a way to live with that. A way to explain that to their child.

The child she wasn’t even sure that Slade would be a father to. And that hurt her. That he wouldn’t want to share a life with her and their baby. But that had nothing to do with her. And she had to figure out how to forge a life without him. Unless she could find out what his fear was...

Was it possible that she’d be able to help him see the other side? See that together they would be better?

Eleven

Back at her condo after the spa that afternoon, Melinda took Pixie out on the balcony and stood at the railing looking down at the city. Up here, it seemed so much easier to make decisions than it did when she was sitting next to her sister or when she was with Slade. The truth was that Angela had been right. If she was in love with Slade, she would figure out a way to make him be a part of her life now and forever.

The thing was she didn’t want to manipulate him into loving her and committing to her. She didn’t want to pressure him into staying in a relationship that would feel like a trap to him.

He’d shared the story of his parents’ marriage and she’d seen firsthand her own parents’ happy marriage break down. She certainly didn’t want to end up like that. She knew from her own experience that having two parents who felt trapped wasn’t necessarily better than just having one. Or she thought it wouldn’t be. She had no idea what it would be like to grow up having only one parent. She’d lost her mom ten years ago and that had been hard enough. What would her child face if only she raised it?

Pixie barked and ran back into the condo, and Melinda followed her. She’d given Slade a key, but he had yet to use it without texting her first to let her know he was coming over. They had debated moving in together because they both knew that some of the more mean-spirited social bloggers had commented on the fact that the only time they were together was to hook up.

But Melinda had never let anyone push her into doing anything in her life and wasn’t about to start now. Which was another argument for not doing the things that would make Slade feel like he had to stay engaged to her, that he had to marry her.

She wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt that went along with that. The fact was she wanted this to sort itself out. But she’d never been able to leave things be. Her father liked to say that everything happened in its own time, but she had always been too impatient to wait.

She wanted things to happen in Melinda’s time. When she wanted it, not when it was right.

“Hello,” she heard Slade call out. “Where’s your mistress, Pix?”

“I’m here. Just enjoying the sun and the peace up here,” she called back. “I have some sweet tea out here if you’re thirsty. There’s also beer in the fridge.”

“Sweet tea sounds perfect,” he said as he came onto the balcony. He pulled her into his arms and leaned in to kiss her, but his mouth skimmed along her cheek. It felt different now that she’d acknowledged that she loved him. She still got that rush that she always did when she saw him but she knew that once the media stopped bothering her, he’d leave. And that hurt. This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid.

“I noticed that one of the bloggers that has been watching you has a drone so we might not be alone.”

She literally started shaking with outrage. Why did anyone believe they had the right to spy on her? She could understand their curiosity about her relationship...but a drone? That was too much. “They’re going too far.”

“I agree,” he said, stepping back and rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms. “But I wanted you to know.”

“I’m going to call the building managers. Surely there’s some sort of legal reason why they can’t fly it over the condos,” Melinda said.

“I think we need to give the media something to print. Let’s face it, we’ve been pretty low-key for the last week or so,” he said.

She nodded. Giving them something to talk about was the entire reason they had gotten engaged. Her doubts had made her reluctant to walk around, letting anyone see the two of them together. She knew it was going to be much harder—much more humiliating—when they ended things if there were all those pictures of them being all lovey-dovey.

The knot in the pit of her stomach intensified and she honestly felt like she might throw up. She thought she could control it and then realized she couldn’t. She tried to walk all ladylike into her living room and then as soon as she was inside bolted for the bathroom. She heard Slade behind her. The heels on his dress shoes echoed behind her on the marble floor and she knew he was saying something, but she was so focused on not throwing up until she was in the bathroom she couldn’t comprehend or respond.

She got into the bathroom just in time. She heard Slade behind her as she finished throwing up. He handed her a towel to wipe her mouth and then a cup of water to rinse with. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her to him. Just a hug that offered comfort and she started crying. There was no reason for the tears, except she wasn’t holding things together the way she usually could.

This entire situation was insane. Not what she had planned for herself or her unborn child or Slade.

She always had a plan and things usually worked out the way she planned them, but this time they weren’t. She had no idea how to get back on track and it seemed the more she tried, the harder it was.

He held the back of her head, lightly massaging her scalp, and she just closed her eyes and pretended she hadn’t just gotten sick or cried in his arms. Finally, she felt slightly better and stepped back.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. You’re pregnant and life is a bit stressful right now. Do you feel up to a walk around downtown? Just something for the paparazzi to snap some pictures of and then we can come home, and I’ll make dinner for you.”

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