Page 12 of Texas-Sized Scandal

He looked away from her and when he turned back, he nodded. “I don’t know that I’m as good as you just made me sound, but you do make me want to be a better man.”

“I can’t imagine how you’d be better than you are now,” she said. He was a good man because he was constantly weighing the consequences for every decision. She liked that about him, but that didn’t mean she wanted to find herself trapped in a temporary engagement to him. She knew, though, that if he’d asked her, he’d already run some sort of calculation in his head and this was the best solution.

She wanted to believe that it was because he wanted to protect her, but a big part of her was afraid it had more to do with him. Slade had worked so hard to prove he was better than his gangster daddy; the last thing he’d want was a baby mama who was pushing forty.

Slade knew the battle he always waged within himself. He knew he was always one footfall away from stepping over the line and becoming Carlo’s son. But he fought it. The thing was, when he was with Melinda it was easier. She made the battle raging inside of him not as intense, and he didn’t want to let that go.

Of course, now that she was pregnant that changed things a bit. He was panicking and doing his usual bid to ignore it and it was almost working.

Or had been until she’d decided that defending him to himself was the thing to do. She had an innate goodness that he’d rarely encountered in anyone before, even his nonna. Philomena Conti was a very kind and nurturing woman, but she was also tough as nails, having to make some hard decisions running the Conti empire since her husband’s premature death in Vietnam in the 70s. Slade had taken the helm on his twenty-eighth birthday.

Melinda seemed the type of woman who’d never had to make those choices or if she had made them, the impact hadn’t tainted her.

She wasn’t naive or anything like that. She could hold her own with anyone, but she did it in a way that made the person she was going toe-to-toe with wish they’d never upset her.

He needed to stop extolling her virtues. He needed to get out of her condo. Turning to the bedroom door, he threw over his shoulder, “I’ll see you at seven.”

“I might jot down a few ideas for how this temporary engagement will work and then text it over to you,” she said, following him. “Will that be okay?”

No. He didn’t want a bunch of rules he had to follow. He really didn’t do well with that type of thing. But she’d said she needed it and he was trying to protect her, keep his grandmother happy and his father far away from her, so he was going to have to go along with her ideas. “Sure, that would be fine. Send it when you have it ready.”

He walked out of her bedroom but when he got to the front door, she reached out and caught his hand, squeezing it. “We’re going to figure this out and give this kid the best shot it has for a great life. I really believe in us.”

“Great.” He realized he sounded a bit sarcastic, which suited his mood that was quickly heading south. “Once we know what we’re doing, I’m sure it will make us both feel more confident.”

But he wasn’t sure. He had come from a mob family, she had come from a broken family and her mom was rumored to have had an affair with another man. Both of them were almost forty and had spent the bulk of their lives alone. That had to mean something.

Or else it was just him going insane.

“Thanks for being so chill about this,” she said. “And for giving me the space I need.”

“Of course,” he said, pulling her close and kissing her. But it was different now. His mind reeled with all the things that were implied in this embrace. She was carrying his baby, she wasn’t his and for the first time that mattered to him.

He’d never been one of those guys who had to have a woman committed to him, but thinking about Melinda walking away—which she might do—he felt a need to put on the charm and convince her to stay.

Maybe he should take her to bed. She never said no to him when they were intimate. He tried to deepen the kiss, angling his head to the side and sliding his hands down her back to cup her butt and pull her more fully against him, but she twisted her head away.

She turned back to face him, and their eyes met. “That’s a surefire way to muddle my thinking.”

“And a surefire way to cement mine,” he said.

“This can’t just be sex anymore. It’s not just the two of us anymore,” she said.

That’s why he wanted sex. He needed it, so he could lie to himself and convince himself that nothing had changed between them. That once he walked out the door, things were going to stay okay. But he knew they wouldn’t. Nothing was going to be like it was before.

It wasn’t the first time his life had done one of these huge shifts and to be honest, he’d hated it last time, so he was pretty damned sure he wasn’t going to love it now.

But this was Melinda and she deserved the best he had to give. Kissing her on her forehead, he let her go and stepped away. “You’re right. I’ll see you later.”

He walked out her front door and down the hall toward the elevator, making sure he didn’t hesitate until he was out of her sight. Then he paused. For the first time since he’d seen all those pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, he allowed his emotions free rein. His hands shook and he had that nervous sensation in the pit of his stomach. A heady cocktail of both fear and excitement.

A baby.

His baby.

His and Melinda’s.

He should take a page out of her planner and go make some notes on what to do, but he didn’t need that. His list was pretty damn short. Make sure the kid was nothing like his dad.

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