Page 61 of Trusting a Cowgirl

Yes, when he had these panic attacks, the walls would close in around him. But it wasn’t just a sense of claustrophobia. It was the feeling he would never escape what he’d lived through no matter how many days passed. No matter how far he ran.

He jutted his chin toward the building. “How about we get lunch before they give our table away?”

Her brows were still pinched and she exchanged a look with Faye before meeting his eyes. “You sure? We could go find somewhere to eat outside.”

Riley nodded. “I’m sure.”

Faye shrugged, then turned toward the door.

He moved past Grace while keeping her hand in his, but she didn’t budge, causing him to turn back to face her.

“Riley.”

“What?”

She pursed her lips for a moment. “That wasn’t claustrophobia, was it?”

“Sure it was.”

Grace shook her head, her hand tightening on his. “I know what claustrophobia looks like. I’ve had training. You were having a panic attack or an episode. Whatever you want to call it, you were reacting to Faye’s questions. Is that what happened when you got arrested?”

He scowled at her. “No. Of course not. Random people don’t just come up and ask me about my last tour.” He’d been arrested due to his unhealthy habit of turning to alcohol to drown out those voices that screamed at him when it got too much for him to handle.

Riley swallowed again, his jaw tight. “Let’s just go get some lunch and we can talk about this later.” He tugged on her hand, but once again she didn’t move.

“I think this is something we need to discuss. And somehow, I feel that you won’t do that if I don’t make you right now.”

“Your sister is in there waiting. I’m not going to have a session out here on the sidewalk.” It was getting increasingly harder to remain patient with her. And with each passing second, he became more and more aware of just why she would want to keep him a secret from everyone she cared about.

She was ashamed. Or perhaps she was worried about what he might do to embarrass her.

Riley released her hand. “Come eat or don’t. I’m not going to stand out here like a crazy person.” He strode toward the door and headed right back to their table, where Faye was seated. She pushed a napkin toward him and he stared down at it. Scrawled there in black and white was her address.

He grabbed the napkin in his fist and shoved it into his pocket before Grace could see.

His previous plan to speak to her father was currently up in the air. Grace had seen evidence he wasn’t ready to climb out of the mud created from his despair. And Faye was her witness. Even if Grace still cared about him, it wouldn’t take much for Faye to turn her against him.

The canyon of risk that lay between them had widened. If he had a shot at keeping Grace in his life, he’d drastically threatened that reality and all because he allowed Faye to delve into his past like he was some carnival freakshow and she had a ticket, bought and paid for.

22

Grace

Grace glancedat Riley for what was probably the hundredth time. The three of them ate in silence, filling the void with menial small talk. Faye was doing most of the work, and while she was making an effort to keep her voice light and upbeat, the dismal tone came through like thorns on the stem of a rose.

This was not how today was supposed to go. They were going to get his motorcycle and then… what? She hadn’t planned on going to lunch. She definitely hadn’t planned on exposing his past in front of a stranger.

Granted, that part of the problem wasn’t something she should be blamed for. Riley had been the one who’d let Faye ask him questions he wasn’t ready for.

Then what was the point of the therapy sessions? Wasn’t she supposed to be the person who helped him get through the hardest parts? He should have had enough practice by now.

She pushed some of her corn around her plate with the fork. They should just leave. No one was having fun right now. Grace felt more than one pair of eyes on her, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at either of them. Her own irritation simmered. It had started small, but the more Grace thought about it, the more she realized she was out of her depth.

She wasn’t a good enough therapist. And as far as their budding relationship went, how was she supposed to support him if she couldn’t get him to talk to her?

Had she made a mistake?

She allowed herself a peek at him and found his gaze locked onto her. A small thrill shot through her. Based on that reaction alone, she should just allow herself to continue exploring their relationship, right?

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