Page 39 of Valentine's Day Proposal

If talking was all he wanted, I could manage that. I had my back to him, so I was certain he couldn’t see my stomach, but if he was here there was a very high likelihood that he knew anyway. So, I turned, hand rested on my stomach casually the way all pregnant women do. I watched his eyes grow large and sighed.

“Yes, we can talk.” The sun overhead felt warm, even though it was quite chilly still. I felt like a Midwesterner who claims, “It wouldn’t be so bad if not for the wind.”

I waited for him to say something, but he stared at my stomach, then up at my face. His long black wool coat almost dipped in the snow where he stood. He held his hat in his hand like a gentleman would when addressing a lady, but it was a stupid tradition if you asked me. He was colder that way.

“What do you need to say?” I hoped for an apology, but I didn’t hold my breath. He wasn’t the best at those. And he hadn’t come after me when I left. It was almost February making it almost three months I’d been away, and he’d called only once that I knew of. If he called again, Mom had hidden it from me. He didn’t have much ground to stand on.

“You’re….”

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious?” I chuckled, turning back to face the pasture and the horses. They’d moved away farther, but I leaned on the fence. My lower back was starting to hurt.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“You didn’t come home, Charles, or I would have told you. I would have answered your questions.” I heard the snow crunching and he appeared to my right, leaning on the fence like me.

“You can answer them now.” His voice was meek, timid even. “It’s not too late.”

I scowled. It was most definitely too late. I’d filed for an annulment which he didn’t even bother to sign and return. Mel told me to file for divorce because he’d be subpoenaed to court, but I felt an annulment was better.

“It is a little too late.”

“Look if we can find each other again after seven years and make it work, we can fix this.” Shivering, he placed his hat back on his head.

“Find each other?” I shook my head, well aware that my voice had ticked up a few notches in volume and pitch. “We didn’t find each other. Your lacky hunted me down and convinced me that living with you for a year was worth almost a quarter of a million dollars. And we didn’t make it work. Can’t you see that?”

He faced me, his face dropping. He had been calm and confident when he approached, but his demeanor was changing. I saw him growing angry with me, but I didn’t care.

“I tried to make it work.”

“Did you, Charles?” I crossed my arms over my chest, making my stomach seem even larger. “Because you seemed more interested in a campaign and the political race than trying to make something work with me. We fucked, but we didn’t make it work. Nothing has worked between us since you dumped me and broke my heart.”

“We’re not talking about what happened back then. We’re talking about why you left DC without telling me you’re pregnant. You can’t keep secrets like this from me.”

“Because I’m your wife?” I scoffed, staring toward the house. “Fuck you, Charles.”

“Come back here.”

I heard the snow crunching behind me and knew he was following. My only hope was to get in the house and make my father send him away. There was a black sedan parked in the driveway, and as we drew closer, I could see Peter seated in the front seat. He was behind this again; I knew it.

“Willow, can you please stop and talk to me.”

I whipped around so fast he almost ran into me. He was scowling, and I was furious. “When will you get the point? I am in love with you, Charles. I was in love with you eight years ago in college when you accused me of pulling away and dumped me. I was in love with you when I swore, I’d never speak to you again. When we signed that marriage contract—yeah, I was in love then too. And I was even in love with you that night you stayed out all night and I was left waiting up for you to answer your questions. You want my answers?”

“Yes, I wanted to stay. Yes, something changed between us, and I don’t know what it was, but I hated it for a long time. Now I don’t know what to think. Because yes, I’m still in love with you. But I will not be one of those political trophy wives that gets cheated on and neglected. That’s all you’ll ever be able to do.”

Before he could answer, I rushed away, leaving him standing there staring at me. I flipped Peter off as I passed the car and let myself into the house, locking the door behind me. Dad looked up as I passed through the kitchen with tears in my eyes. He looked concerned but his mouth was full of food.

“If the doorbell rings, tell that bastard I am not here.”

I headed straight to my room, locking myself in there too. The snow on my boots had been tracked all the way through the house, and I owed Mom a few chores to make up for the cleaning she would have to do on my account. I just needed to be away from him so quickly I couldn’t even fathom stopping long enough to take my snowy boots off.

Mr. Boots came padding up to me, mewling out his comfort. I let him climb on my lap and knead my sweater. I had missed him the entire year, and he was such a huge part of my comfort. I didn't know how I survived without him for so long.

Charles Perish had no intention of loving me or apologizing for anything he’d done wrong. He was oblivious to my pain. He always had been, and I wasn’t going to let him control me anymore. My heart was mine, not his, and I didn’t have to let him manipulate my actions by pulling my heart strings. He might have come to patch things up because he was genuinely sorry, but to me it felt like one more attempt to bolster the public’s view of his office.

No way I was going back to that. And there was no way I would allow my child to be used as his pawn either. As far as I was concerned, Charles and I were done.

35

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