Page 40 of Baby By my Best Friend's Daddy

“How long has it been since your last serious relationship?” Rebecca asked.

“Honestly?” I asked. “Brad’s mother, Catherine.”

“Really?” Rebecca asked with a frown. “You haven’t dated at all since?”

“I dated, but nothing serious,” I said. “I learned very quickly that none of them would cut it, and I don’t see the point of pushing for something if I don’t see it working long term.”

Rebecca glanced at me. I hoped she knew what I was saying—I was serious about her, and I wanted to know where it would go.

“Are you and Catherine still close?” she asked.

I nodded. “After we figured out we weren’t good together, we became good friends. I think we’re closer now than we ever were when we were married. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work.”

“I get that,” Rebecca said. “I haven’t really been serious with anyone. I always feel like I’m not on the same page as everyone else, and I’m not going to fight my whole life to be understood. It should come naturally.”

“I agree,” I said. “It should.” Did she feel that it came naturally between us? I did. We fit together so seamlessly that I didn’t know how I’d ever not had her in my life like this. Not just as Brad’s friend, but as my… what? What was she? Girlfriend?

I wanted her to be, eventually. I’d be a fool to let something so incredible slip through my fingers.

“Is that why you broke up?” Rebecca asked. “Because it didn’t work?”

“In a way, yeah,” I said. “In a way, it was because I didn’t do enough. Every relationship needs work from both sides, and I didn’t get that then.”

“Would you go back and do it differently if you could?” she asked.

I thought about it. “I don’t know. A part of me says yes, for Brad’s sake, but Catherine is happy in her life with her husband, and I wouldn’t take that away from her. We really weren’t made for each other. By the time we figured it out, Brad was already in our lives, so we tried for his sake, but it’s better the way it is now.”

“That’s nice of you,” Rebecca said.

“She didn’t do anything wrong. Neither of us did, really—we were young and stupid. I wouldn’t do it the same this time, though.”

“How would you do it?” Rebecca asked.

“I would do whatever it takes. I would fight for what I have. I would hold on tight and never let go because when you find something that’s as wonderful as that kind of happiness, you don’t let anything take it away from you.”

Rebecca’s cheeks colored, and she took another bite of her food.

“I think you’re wonderful,” I added.

Rebecca looked up at me, her dark eyes dazzling like stars.

“I think you’re pretty great too.”

11

REBECCA

ItfeltlikeI’dknown Landon for years. I guess I had—he was Brad’s dad, and I’d seen him a lot since I’d met Brad, but that wasn’t the same. I felt like Landon knew me, the person I was under everything.

For every part of my life, I had a mask I wore. I was professional but gentle at the hospital, staying calm in the face of trauma.

I was strong and shut off when I was with my parents, determined to be myself even when they wanted me to be like Naomi.

When I was with Celine, I had thick skin and wore a smile all the time. She was a great friend, but she was like a porcupine, prickly when I got too close. With Brad, I could relax and talk about whatever went on in my life, but I couldn’t share my hopes and dreams with him the way I could with Landon.

It wasn’t that Brad didn’t understand and care. It was just that whatever hearts were made of, mine and Landon’s were the same.

“It must have been hard to lose your sister,” Landon said when we talked about my family. He knew a lot about my life, thanks to Brad. It made it easier in some ways. I didn’t have to go through the motions of telling him something difficult from scratch, to see the sympathy, the pity in his eyes.

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