Page 31 of No Limits

“It’s really whichever you think is best. We have a DJ picked out if we want to go that route, but the band is fine too. We just need to decide by the end of the week.”

“Book the DJ.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm. One hundred percent. I want our song and first dance to be perfect. I can’t take any chances of the band taking any ‘artistic liberties’ and changing something. It’s far too important.” A wide smile spans his face.

And while my lip quivers, one creeps across mine as well. It feels so normal and natural to be like this with him. There’s no residual tension. And he seems genuinely interested in this aspect of the wedding.

It’s refreshing.

“I’m planning to make chicken parm for dinner tonight. Want to help?” One of his eyebrows quirks up as he asks. I still haven’t moved from my spot curled up in bed and he’s still sitting with his hand on my hip.

But he’s trying. This is him extending an olive branch.

And I take it. “As long as you don’t make me touch the chicken.”

The bed jiggles with his deep laugh, and my cheeks hurt from my smile. It’s been a while since I’ve heard it.

Ever since he tried to teach me how to make a roast chicken a few Christmases ago, I’ve refused to touch the slimy meat. It’s a no go for me.

“I will do all chicken prep. You can help with the pasta and maybe the sauce? I was going to make the homemade one you like since I have all day.”

My stomach grumbles at the thought. The house smellsincrediblewhen he makes that sauce.

“Happy to.” While I want to sit up, get ready to show him I’m in, I’m enjoying sitting here with his hand on me a little too much to move.

This all feels so normal, routine. Like what life should be. I only hope it can continue.

Chapter 15

Christmasisuponus.Only three more days. It snows daily, though most are just light dustings and nothing to write home about.

Two weeks ago, I thought maybe Lochlyn and I were turning a corner. We spent the day flirting and being silly, like we always had been. He happily turned down every call, not a grimace in sight. Dinner had been easy and carefree that night and he did amazingly well on my favorite, while his hand stayed on me the whole time.

I was wrong. Whatever good mood he’d found himself in that day was washed away by the time he got home on Monday. Apparently, he’d had a talking to about his commitment to his job and being available when one of the bands—he refused to specify which—complained that they’d needed him over the weekend, and he was unavailable to them.

What they needed him for was a rager at the hotel they were staying at. Nothing was broken, they weren’t kicked out, there was nothing he was needed for besides being part of the action.

I haven’t seen him for dinner since. Something changed, something reverted backward, and I have no idea what it is.

But part of me can’t help but feel like it was the sex. That he felt like we were connecting on a deep level, the way only we can, and that it showed me,provedto me how much he loves me.

We’ve been having it so infrequently lately he probably thought it was a surefire way to make me see it, to feel it. And then he could go about doing whatever he wants.

Did he not feel the lack of connection I felt? Did he not feel what was missing? If that’s the case, then my worries are only compounded. It means we are on two completely separate pages about where our relationship stands.

It’d be one thing if he was acting differently, angry, frustrated. But he’s not. It’s like everything is back to normal, back to before we started having issues. I just don’t understand it. Where does this mentality come from? Is he that blind or is it wishful thinking?

The wishful thinking I could get behind, acting out what you want to put it into place.

But if he’s blind to it, that’s a bigger problem I don’t know how to fix. I don’t know how to get past it. Because if he’s blind to the problem, to how he no longer even gives me much thought, let alone prioritizes me, nothing will change. It can’t because he doesn’t realize that it needs to.

That’s my one wish for Christmas this year. For things to be the way they should be. Back to normal, back to Lochlyn and Shay, against the world.

He always made me feel like there were no limits to what our relationship could be, what we could achieve together. And now, I feel the opposite.

The house is beautifully decorated. Chelsea came over and helped me hang garland around the banister on the staircase. One thing Lochlyn did with me was get the tree and adorn it with all our ornaments. Most are from our childhood. Some we bought new.

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