Page 59 of No Limits

“Huh.” I’m not sure what else to say. The thought surprises me a little because I’m sure she and I have talked about boys before. Or maybe I talked and she listened. Or possibly she’s interested in boys and girls. Either way, none of it matters as long as she continues to take good care of my kids.

“So, make sure you let your friends know that maybe they should be worried about you and not me.”

“I always let them know there’s nothing to be worried about anyway.”

“Good. There never could be.” His eyes search my face, like he’s taking in every tiny aspect.

“I know.”

“And why is that? Aside from just trusting me.” Trust wasn’t always easy for me with Lochlyn. He’s so damn good-looking, every girl would turn to him while we were anywhere, and it was hard, especially being my first relationship. But I’ve learned that Lochlyn will never waver.

“Because you love me too much.” This is the reason. It’s not just because he’s a loyal and faithful person, it’s because there’s no room for anybody else.

“I’m glad you know that.”

“It’s impossible not to.”

“I worry sometimes, with life being so crazy and busy. That’s what this was for. To show you, remind you.” It’s a very sweet gesture, one that’s probably going to be a thing of the past before we get to reflect on how nice it was and few and far between. Four kids don’t make it easy for time.

“I always know, Lochlyn. And I hope you always know how much I love you.”

Brushing some hair behind my ear, he cups my face. “I do.”

“Eventually, it’ll be just us again.” The thought makes my mommy heart want to shatter into a million pieces. Thankfully, I have at least seventeen more years before they’re all gone.

“But then we’ll be sad and missing our crazy house.” At least he feels the same way I do. We love the chaos, embrace it even. Except sometimes in the morning when running late for school.

“We certainly will.”

“Ever think about having another?”

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. “Really? Another? Don't you think four is enough?”

“I'd do anything you want, Shay.”

“I think four is plenty. We only have so many arms, after all. Right now, it’s perfect because we have enough for each kid.” In really hard times, we’ve both had one in each arm. If needed, I can even still scoop up two, though depending on the two, it may be a bit harder than for Lochlyn.

“I love that Lorelei looks just like you.” His eyes glint as he says it.

“And I love that Leo looks just like you. And that Ophelia and Jackson are perfect combinations of us, though opposite of each other.” Ophelia has my dark hair and Lochlyn’s blue eyes. She’s going to be a heartbreaker and Lochlyn is not prepared. Jackson has Lochlyn’s blond hair and my brown eyes. He’s young still, but the two kids with dark hair had it since birth. Leo’s was light when he was born and it stayed.

“I love our life, Shay. Our kids, our house, our store. The only place I want to make things better is our marriage. Not that it’s bad…at all, I just feel like I don't get to show you that I love you anymore. I want to fix that.” A brief memory of the past flashes through my mind, but things are so different. We don’t focus as much on each other now because wecan’t. Our attention is somewhere far more important, our children. And we do it together as a team.

“Lochlyn, baby, I know you do. But it’s hard right now. Jackson is still so needy. Even Lorelei. They need me, they needus, so much still. We’ll get there, but trust that I know you love me.” Of all the things I know in this life, it’s that Lochlyn loves me.

“It’s overwhelming sometimes. Even after all these years, it still overwhelms me and my senses.” As it does mine.

“Me too. I’m so happy you kissed me that night. I can't even imagine where I'd be if you hadn't.” To think that Lochlyn may have continued to deny and ignore our feelings is bewildering. Would we have wound up together anyway? Would we have married other people?

I like to think we still would have ended up as a couple, though maybe with a few changes. Because I like to believe that Lochlyn and I are meant to be together in every way possible. In a kismet and universe righting way.

“I wish I hadn't waited so long. We could have had even more time together.”

“Would you really have wanted to date a high schooler while you were in college?”

“Shay, I wanted to date you, regardless. That day at the lake that it clicked for me, that was it. There was nobody else, there was zero possibility of me not at least telling you how I felt. And while I didn't know it would work out, I had such faith it would.”

“It’s a good thing.” My palms slide down his chest to his stomach and down to the top of his jeans. There’s a strong need for him and it’s growing by the second.

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