Page 42 of No Limits

“Iamhere, damn it. I’m busting my ass to be here for you.”

“No, Lochlyn.I’mhere. I am here fighting for us, every single day. I’m showing up. I support you, I rally behind you, always. But I’m doing this alone. How many times have I eaten alone in the past week? Let’s not even talk about the past month. I’m asleep before you’re even home most nights. I can't keep being the only one, Lochlyn. At some point, you stopped showing up for me.” The words burn on their way out of my mouth, needles working their way into my heart.

I let go all of the other times this has been the case. I ignore the fact that it’s been months, almost a year, not a few weeks.

“That’s not fair, Shay. I’m trying to build a career! For us. To better our lives and prepare for our future.”

“What future? How can we have a future if you’re not here?” The tears are threatening, and if he listens, he’ll hear it in my voice. The waver, the hurt, the year of pain.

“So what, are you second-guessing things now? Are you backing out of this relationship because I miss a few dinners and sometimes get home after you go to bed?” The anger in his voice takes me back.

“You've always said you don't want to turn into your father. But we’re not even married yet and you don't make time for me!” It’s a low blow and I know it, but he needs to hear something that will make him really see things clearly. I've tried asking, I've tried being patient, I've even cried. None of it has made a lick of difference. Drastic times call for drastic measures. Because I willnotspend my life married but alone. I will not raise our children alone. And that’s if we even get that far.

I storm out, but not before seeing the shock and hurt in his eyes.

“Shay.”

I slam the front door shut without turning around.

“Shay!”

He steps onto the front stoop of our modest house as I back out of the driveway. I have to bite my cheek to keep the tears at bay, hoping the pain will calm the racing of my heart.

I pull into a driveway that’s as familiar as my own without even knowing how I got here. Blocking out the ache wanting to tear my chest in half and the burn behind my eyes took so much concentration I couldn't focus on where I was going.

The door opens and my best friend’s bright smile and sparkling eyes drop the second she sees me. “Shay? What’s wrong?”

She wraps her arms around my shoulders as she pulls me inside and the dam breaks.

Wes disappears from the living room, and I immediately feel a pang of guilt as I chase him out in his own house. But Chelsea doesn't hesitate as she pulls me down next to her on the couch, taking my hands in hers.

“What happened?” Her brows are knit together, worry evident on her face.

“It’s just…we just…” I can't get the words out, not with my jagged breathing and the way my heart is clogging my throat.

“Did he do something?”

I shrug because it’s not so much what he did as what he hasn't been doing. Chelsea should know; she’s seen the writing on the wall, she’s seen his absence, she’s heard my complaints and tried to give me comforting words.

Her jaw clenches and her eyes darken. “Did he cheat on you?”

My eyes narrow as I jerk my head back. “What? Chelsea, no. Of course not.” The nasally sound of my voice tells me I’ll have a killer headache tomorrow.

“All right, I had to ask. I mean, I'd never expect it of Lochlyn, but he’s been so different lately, I’m not sure what to think.” She’s not wrong, and on some level, I’ve questioned it myself, but I know as much as Lochlyn is hurting me, he’s not doing it intentionally.

Despite his absence, despite his lack of attention, I know Lochlyn loves me and would never stray. It’s not even a question in my mind.

“His absence. It came to a head. We got in a fight.” I’m thankfully able to speak through the sniffles. How…I don’t really know.

The torrent of tears hasn’t stopped, and I don’t see it doing that anytime soon.

My heart feels like it’s tearing in half. I needed to get away. I needed room to breathe, but what if he doesn’t care? What if he goes to get drunk with the band or to work tomorrow like nothing even happened?

I let Chelsea lead me to the spare room, where she pulls back to the covers and tucks me in as I curl into the fetal position.

She sits on the edge of the bed and runs her hand down my hair. Something I’ve done for her several times.

While she’s comforting me, I know she’s roiling with rage. Knowing my best friend, she wants to go find Lochlyn and tell him a thing or two. Chelsea’s not a violent person, but I wouldn’t put it past her to smack him, at least on the arm.

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