Page 37 of No Limits

The rest becomes a sloppy mess of pushing and pulling and thrusting and squeezing and tugging before I’m gripping the sheets and clamping down around his hard length while I come.

He’s right behind me, jerking roughly into me while his cock pulsates, and he chokes on a breath.

I collapse to the bed, and he falls right along with me, his body draped over mine with his arm flung over my lower half.

Our breaths mingle as we face each other, and small beads of sweat are scattered across our bodies.

A giant smile spans his face. One that makes his eyes twinkle.

My hand flutters to my mouth as I turn toward the mattress and giggle.

This feels right, normal. Like us.

“I’ve missed you, Shay. Your laugh, your smile. All of it. I know I seem far gone, but I’m not. I’m just…distracted. And I’m sorry you’re paying the price because that’s not what I want. It’s not my intention. I’m struggling. And I should have told you a while ago, but call it ego if you want, I didn’t want to admit it to you.” His tone changes from happy to desperate, and his smile fades. A hand runs down my hair, changing from gentle to frantically fast and rough.

“We’re supposed to be a team, Lochlyn. You keeping things from me, that’s not us working together.”

“Maybe it’s old-fashioned or the way my parents raised me, but the man provides for his woman, his family. I don’t want you to have to worry about things like money or my job or anything like that.” He should know that I don’t care about any of that. Especially because my parents worked together. The store wastheirstore that they opened and worked on together.

“But instead, I’m worried aboutyou.” There’s a level of pleading to my voice that I hate, but can’t hide. It’s been a long year. A long several months of this back and forth.

“I’m sorry.” It comes out in a breathless whisper.

There’s a battle taking root inside me. I don’t want to be mad at him; I don’t want to hold it against him. At least now, I have some level of understanding of what’s been going on and what he’s been going through. But is it enough? It doesn’t feel like it.

For months on end, there was this back and forth where I’d get this glimmer of hope, this glimpse of who we used to be, for it to all disappear within a week and be right back to the guy who works too hard and ignores me. To wedding planning on my own.

To feeling like a second thought in my own home.

So as much as I don’t want it to be, as much as I want to chase the thoughts and feelings away and let this be what it is, possibly a new start, a change to how things have been, all I can think is when will it revert?

When will the shoe drop and we go back to how things have been?

Chapter 18

Afewweekslater,and it’s time for the one appointment I’ve been looking forward to. The flowers, the invitations, all that are details that are necessary, but tedious and far outside the realm of what I care about.

But today…today is wedding dress day.

Mom visits for the day and Chelsea’s practically beside herself. You’d think she was shopping for her own dress today, but I guess finding mine is the next best thing.

I know I’ll be as excited in three months when we go shopping for hers.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! It’s going to be the best. Eek, I can’t wait to see you in all that white.” She’s hanging on my arm as we walk into the small coffee shop, Trenta Tiff’s, that’s a few storefronts down from the bridal salon.

Today is doubling as a dress shopping day and early birthday celebration, so Chelsea is buying me coffee while Mom is taking us out to lunch. None of it is too different—save for the dress shopping—than a normal outing would be, but it’s nice that it’s a day for me.

“I’m so nervous. What if I don’t find one?”

“You will.”

“How do you know?” I’ve had nightmares that I show up to walk down the aisle in my pajamas because I couldn’t find a dress to wear. Real Lochlyn wouldn’t even care. Dream Lochlyn refuses to marry me every time.

“Because I do. We’re going to three different places today, if we need to. And you’re going to look stunning in everything because you’re my gorgeous best friend. It’s going to be great. You’ll see.”

“What if I don’t get that feeling? You know the one that everybody talks about, where they just know it’s their dress. What if that doesn’t happen for me?”“I think you’ll be surprised. And who knows, maybe you won’t, maybe that’s not a real thing. But you will find something that you look amazing in and that you love.” As we make our way to the order spot in line, I hang on to her words and hope they’re true.

“I’ll have a large caramel macchiato and she’ll have a large cinnamon hazelnut.” Chelsea orders for us when we get to the window. Thankfully, she browsed the menu while we talked because I hadn’t, my mind going haywire about what lay ahead for the day.

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