Page 33 of No Limits

And while he’s salary at his job, he needs tokeepsaid job to keep the money rolling in. If he disappoints clients or they no longer want him representing them, then that goes out the window.

Repeating Marissa’s words in my head, I start to believe them, and begin to relax. The tension oozes out of me and things feel more normal.

“He’s stressed about the wedding. Making a bigger deal out of something small again, Shay. So foolish.” Talking to myself has become a newer thing since I’m alone so much.

And while I want to believe these words, this notion, there’s a nibbling at the back of my mind that keeps telling me I’m way off base.

Chapter 16

ChelseaandWessleepover on Christmas Eve. It’s a tradition we started in the dorms and have decided to keep for all these years. It allows us all to wake up together and open our presents first thing in the morning, complete with mimosas and cinnamon rolls.

We all stay up late, watching a marathon of all the Santa Clause movies before falling asleep. Sometimes we stay in the living room, other times we make it to our beds. It’s a good time all around.

Even though things with Lochlyn have had the strain, I’ve tried to be more forgiving, reminding myself of Marissa’s words every time I want to jump to the highest level of concern.

Her words also made me realize something else.

I’mstressed about the wedding. So maybe my heightened level is taking these things a little harsher than I need to. All things I keep telling myself in hopes that it’s true and I can calm down a little.

So far, it hasn’t worked much, but I’m going to keep trying. I have to, for the sake of our relationship.

We snuggled up in bed last night while Chelsea and Wes slept in the guest room, but it didn’t feel as comforting. I wasn’t overwhelmed with the sense of love and desire I usually am, and Lochlyn didn’t whisper how much he loves me into my hair.

I haven’t heard our usual going to bed saying in months, and every night I fall asleep without it, my heart tears a little more.

Despite all that, it’s Christmas, and it’s magical. There’re even large sparkly puffs falling slowly outside the window. The house is warm and cozy. We have our closest friends here with us.

Everything should be perfect.

Lochlyn stretches with a groan and lies facing me. We have these silent moments more and more, where first thing in the morning we face each other and say nothing. What is there to say? Neither of us seems to know.

“Merry Christmas, baby girl.” That’s a good start.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Let’s go make some cinnamon rolls.”

“Okay.” I watch his muscles ripple as he stretches again and gets out of bed, his pajama pants hung low on his hips. If things were better, I’d be tugging him back to bed, not caring that our family is down the hall.

But thingsaren’tbetter, so I get out of bed, tugging on a sweatshirt, socks, and slippers.

Lochlyn chuckles behind me. “It’s notthatcold.”

“It’s snowing!” I wave my hand toward the window.

“I know. But it’s still not that cold.”

“First thing in the morning, it’s extra chilly.”

He crawls across the bed to be right behind me. His mouth presses to my ear. “I’ll keep you warm.” His voice is low and full of grit, and my head tips back against his shoulder.

I want to tell him I miss him, that I’ve missed him, but I’m not sure he’d understand what I mean, and it seems like a silly thing to say, so I don’t.

Instead, I lean forward to connect my mouth to his. His hand slides up my shirt as he pulls me against him and slips his tongue between my lips.

My legs fall open, and he moves between them, but one moan and maybe a small grumble of my stomach and he’s pulling away.

“I should start on the rolls.”

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