Page 29 of No Limits

While I love reading and literature and all things book related, I have no idea what I can actually do with that once the time comes. Teach? Write? Be a librarian? Work at a bookstore? I don’t even know. And I try not to think about it because it makes my mind spin too much.

“Shay, you’re not listening.” Chelsea draws my attention back to her.

“Sorry. You’re right. I’m happy for you, though. Really. You know that, right?”

“I do. But pay attention. You just scanned a baby blender. So unless you have something to tell me, you’re not watching what you’re doing either.”

Glancing down, I see that I scanned a bunch of things we don’t need in my haze. Including four different coffee pots. Though that’s not necessarily the worst idea. Maybe my distracted mind is onto something.

“Was it about Lochlyn again? I swear, I’ll beat him up.” She shakes her head and waves her fist like she’s ready for battle.

“No, it's about what to do when I’m done with school.” I lead her over to the bedding section and sit on an uncomfortable mattress. Or whatever it is that’s underneath this duvet. “There’s just a lot going on. Easy to get lost in my head. You know me, I live there sometimes.”

Lochlyn was the one to pull me out. The one who let me be there when needed, but pushed me to come outside my boundaries and be myself in the open. Now I feel like I stay there because of him.

“One thing I learned when everything went down with Wes is that everything works out the way it’s supposed to. We broke up, and I really thought I’d never see him again. But we’re better than ever. He has a killer job, I’m loving mine, and we’re planning our wedding. I really couldn’t be happier.”

“Gee, way to rub it in, Chels.” I bump my shoulder into hers as a smile creeps across my face.

“You know what I’m trying to say. I think if you just give it some time, all the things you’re stressing over will work themselves out. Lochlyn and careers included.”

On some level, I know she’s right. But none of that helps right now when the weight of everything is starting to pull me under.

Chapter 14

Forthepasttwoweeks, Lochlyn has been home for dinner every night. Two weeks of stressful dinners with minimal talking. We can’t just act like two people in love. Like the couple I know we are. It’s all stressful and tense.

It’s even throwing me off my game in my classes. I got my first ever C on a paper. I didn’t even tell Lochlyn. The disappointment I’d see on his face would be unbearable.

Sunday is finally here. I’ve been looking forward to our family dinners because it gives a little break from the tension. We at least pretend more in front of Chelsea and Wes.

The problem is, I’m not pretending so much. I want that closeness to Lochlyn, I want to feel him near me, I want to be in his arms. But I’m still angry and frustrated and refuse to move on without some acknowledgment and possibly an apology for his behavior. I can’t.

I’m the first one up this morning. It’s not entirely unusual lately, mostly because Lochlyn works so late. His body’s become accustomed to going to bed late and sleeping until later. He used to be in bed late and up early, but the change in being active has made him need to sleep in more.

I turn toward the window and watch the flakes fall slowly outside. Winter is my second favorite season. Bundling up is a great perk, but the snow is just so beautiful. Those quiet nights where it’s dark and the snow is falling and it’s all you can hear as the puffs hit the ground…it’s magical.

The bed shakes as Lochlyn stirs next to me. I shift to face him. He’s lying on his stomach, hands under his face, elbows out to the sides. Eyes on me.

I stare back at him and a million emotions rush through me. There’s love, so much love, but frustration, anger, hurt, betrayal, joy, connection, growth. It’s overwhelming.

And I know he’s feeling it all too as his eyes dart side to side, as though he’s reading me.

He moves so suddenly I’m startled to stay in one place, my hands coming up almost as though in defense. His arms wrap around me, and he tugs me into his firm chest. It’s warm and safe here, always. Sandalwood infiltrates my nose and all the tension oozes out of me as I snuggle in closer, my forehead resting against his collarbone.

This moment, right here, is something we need. To be in each other’s arms. No words, no anger, just being together.

But it doesn’t last nearly long enough, as he takes my chin in his fingers and tips up, closing his mouth over mine. I grant his tongue entrance and part my lips, throwing my leg over his waist.

“I want to show you that I love you, Shay. How much I love you.”

His hand slides up the inside of my shirt, up my spine and back down again before moving forward to cup my breast.

Not that long ago, I would have been wearing nothing. Now I’m in an oversized shirt and panties.

His thumb rolls over my hardened nipple and he leans me to my back, dragging his cock along my clit. My legs part on instinct, allowing him to fall between them. I hook my ankles behind his waist.

After lowering his pants, he pushes my panties to the side and eases into me.

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