Page 28 of No Limits

“The chocolate with hazelnut. It was delicious. I’m sorry to do this, but I have to run back to work. Thank you, Linda, please thank the chef for us. Shay, I’ll see you at home later. I’ll call if I’ll be late.” He leans toward me and gives me a quick kiss on the head before hurrying out.

I didn’t get to explain. I didn’t get to apologize for my tone. He’s running away, from the situation and from me.

While I don’t blame him, what am I supposed to do with that?

Chapter 13

It’sbeenthreeweekssince the tasting, and things are worse than ever. Only instead of Lochlyn being gone all the time, he’s making more of an effort to be home for dinner at least. But he makes it known that he’s displeased he’s home instead of at work, sighing heavily with every call he ignores, chopping angrily as he prepares the dinner he begrudgingly offers to cook.

It’s not that I’d starve without him cooking, but I certainly wouldn’t eatwell. According to him. I see nothing wrong with pasta or scrambled eggs for dinner. Especially the eggs when I also have coffee. And as frustrated as he may be, he wouldn’t allow me to be hungry or poorly fed when he’s here to cook.

Another problem is he’s used this to continue his argument that I need to learn how to cook more. Which, I know how to do more than pasta and eggs. But if I’m by myself with no idea when he’s coming home, why bother doing more? I don’t want to spend an hour or more cooking a meal meant for two to eat alone. It’s not worth it when I’m content with something quick and easy.

The one night I offered to cook something, he scoffed at me and told me not to worry about it. That was his third day home. I haven’t offered again.

He hasn’t made any of my favorites either, a sure sign that he’s mad. Because normally, when he’s around to make dinner, he cooks a favorite of mine a few times a week.

“You two are being ridiculous.” Leave it to Chelsea to tell it like it is. She’s not wrong, though. That just ruffles my feathers even more.

“It kind of feels like we’re playing a game of chicken and seeing who’s going to bend first, but neither of us are.” I take a second to examine a plate set as Chelsea and I work our way through Macy’s, doing our wedding registries together.

When it was clear Lochlyn wasn’t willing to do it with me, Chelsea stepped up and volunteered, saying Wes will side with her no matter what, so she doesn’t need to bother him with going.

While the same can probably be said for Lochlyn, I did want him with me. Just another wedding thing that we’re not doing together.

“Which is why I said you’re being ridiculous. Somebody has to give in, or you’ll be like this forever. Are you going to avoid each other at your own wedding?”

“I think more and more I’m wondering if we’re going tohavea wedding.” I practically mumble the words and am talking to myself more than Chelsea, but she puts a hand on my arm and stops me, spinning me to face her.

Her eyes are wide, and her lips are parted. “Shay. Are you for real right now? You don’t know if you’re going to get married? Are you having cold feet?”

“I want to marry Lochlyn. But I don’t know how to marry somebody like this. He’s gone all the time, Chels. What does that say for our future?”

“Maybe he’ll change when you get married.”

“Do I want to risk it on a maybe? What if he doesn’t? I can’t then also risk that he’s going to be this way when we have kids. It’s too hard.” It’s been a fear of mine I haven’t wanted to accept or voice. I know that Lochlyn will make an amazing father someday. But I also know he has to be around for that.

She throws her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her side. “We’ll have to figure out a way to get him to change, then.”

If I knew how to do that, I wouldn’t be in this mess. But talking doesn’t seem to work. Fighting doesn’t seem to work. And pretending everything is okay doesn’t work.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Tell me something exciting. How’s the job?” Chelsea had decided grad school wasn’t for her, against her parents’ wishes…or I guess, maybe I should say demands.

Instead, she’s become an assistant manager at the retail store she’s been working at for a few years now. It started when Wes was gone, but she loved it so much, she stayed on. At first, she only worked summers, but then decided to go full time.

The one very beneficial thing, besides her having her own money, is that she has considered going back to school to get an MBA so she can maybe open her own store someday. Which I think would be perfect for her.

“It’s going well. I like the added responsibility and the trust they seem to have in me. Did I tell you they want me to train the new associate?”

“No. That’s great news.” I scan the registry gun over a set of mugs that I have to have.

“Yeah, so they think I’m doing a good enough job to take on a new hire and show her the ropes. Trina said something about me climbing the ranks and whatnot.”

“That’s great, Chels.” Though I really am happy for her, there’s no oomph behind my words, no emotion.

I may be getting my degree in literature, but I have no idea what I want todowith that once I have it. Part of me feels like grad school was just a way for me to delay the inevitable of having to find a job and start a career.

It makes me feel a little behind my friends. Wes loves what he does, Lochlyn at least enjoys it, if not loves it, even though he had no choice, and Chelsea. Well, she’s making her own path, but she’s happy.

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