Page 20 of No Limits

“It isn’t. But I’m trying, Shay. I really am. I know you want me more involved in wedding things too, but I honestly just want you happy. Whatever that means. My opinion will be to agree with you because if you like it, so do I.” His voice is light and gentle.

“I just want you to be with me. Whether you agree or not, I wanted to be going through it together. And Chelsea has been amazing, but it’sourday, and I wantedusto do it as a couple.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I just can’t swing all of the things. But I’ll be at my tux fitting. And I’m looking forward to the food tasting, especially.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he talks about it. It’s hard to return it. I want more, I need more from him, but I don’t know how to ask for it without sounding demanding.

“Dress shopping will hopefully be fun. I don’t know…I’ll be in front of all those people.”

“All those people? Baby girl…you better get used to it. You’re going to be walking down the aisle looking like the most stunning bride in the world in front of at least ahundredpeople. The shopping is just two.”

I hide my face in my hands against his chest. “Don’t remind me.”

“Please don’t get nervous on me now. I can’t have you leaving me at the altar because you’re too nervous to walk down the aisle toward me. And keep that in your mind. Just focus on me.”

He has to know that he makes everything else fall away. I bet it’s similar for him.

“I’d never leave you at the altar. If I were to run, I’d take you with me.”

My whole body shakes with his laughter.

“Please don’t run either. Just be there with me. Celebrate with our friends and, albeit limited, family. Your mom is going to be so excited.”

A heavy sigh pulls from my chest, and I trail my fingertips over his body. “I know. She can’t stop talking about dress shopping.”

“See? It’ll be great.” He yawns and shakes his head.

I move to get up, pulling clothes on. “I’ll let you sleep. You must be tired.”

“Come back and lie with me.” While I’m exhausted, I don’t think my mind could settle enough right now.

“That’s okay, I have a paper to finish.” Not a lie. I just wasn’t planning on doing it today.

His eyes are closed by the time I have my shirt back on. A light snore is already coming with each steady breath.

Gently, I pull the covers up over him and brush some of the hair from his forehead. I love this man more than I ever thought possible, and yet, running doesn’t feel like a possibility, and not because of my love for him. We’re just not lining up lately, not matching. The sex was great, but was there any love behind it? I can’t say for certain.

Instead of feeling like I’m going to bolt, it feels like we may never get that far to begin with.

Chapter 10

Thesnowthathadtrapped Lochlyn overnight turns into a multi-day event. It’s not unusual for winter in our area, but the rate at which it’s falling prevents the plows from keeping all routes clear. Lochlyn has no work, and I have no classes.

We’re snowed in…together. And it should be great, everything I’d want and the perfect way to mend the tears in our relationship. But for some reason, it’s not. We’re not in a place where we’re communicating with each other.

He spends more time in his office than he does in the living room with me. Meals are spent discussing needs and wants, very basic conversation. It’s like I’m living in my house with a roommate instead of my fiancé.

We’re two entities coexisting peacefully in the same house.

I can’t tell if he’s still mad about all the things that have happened over the past several weeks, or if he just doesn’t want to be around me. And I’m too scared to ask him. I don’t want to bother him, not for something that may be trivial or even me projecting.

He doesn’t seem irritated with me, or like he’s avoiding me intentionally. Just focused on what he’s doing and shifting in and out of the office space. The problem is more that he’s doing it as though I’m not here.

While he can do that at work, wouldn’t he maybe want to take a break and spend time with me?

The back-and-forth messes with my head, so I settle in on the couch under my favorite throw blanket and start up the TV. Flipping through, I findThe Nightmare Before Christmas, a favorite and perfect for this time of year. It has a magical ability to fit fall and winter.

No more than twenty minutes in and Lochlyn comes and flops down on the couch next to me, pushing his arm behind my head and pulling me into his chest.

“Oh, I love this movie.” He turns to me with a smile, and I can’t help but smile back despite the tightness in my chest.

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