Page 18 of No Limits

“It is. Nobody has ever said that relationships are easy. They take work and sometimes there are bumps in the road. This may be more like a hill, bu—”

“Try a mountain,” I interrupt.

“Okay, fine, amountain, but you’ll get through if you keep trying and stay patient. I know I give a hard time that he’s not around, and I still don’t like it and don’t think it’s right most of the time. But I do know that he loves you. And that’s not going to change anytime soon.” With a final firm squeeze, she lets me go, gathering up her things.

I watch her move around my house, grabbing a bottle of iced tea from the fridge and her belongings, all while nodding my head and trying to make sense of what she’s said and how I feel.

On some level, deep down, I know she’s right. I just can’t find a way to believe her right now.

Chapter 9

There’sathicklayerof glistening white powder covering the ground outside. The warmth of the mug nestled between my hands helps stave off the chill wanting to filter through my body.

Glancing down at the tan liquid, the corner of my lip turns down. This won't be nearly enough. A heaviness fights against my eyelids as I try to keep them open. All night, I kept waking up, waiting for Lochlyn to walk through the door.

The tightness in my chest that makes it where I can only take short, shallow breaths has been with me since last night. A welcome wetness fills my arid eyes.

“If something horrible happened to him, you'd know by now.” I talk into my coffee cup while I try to soothe myself. It doesn't work.

Taking a shaky breath, I turn away from the window. Staring at the road won't do any more good this morning than it did in the dark.

I have the door to the pantry open, but I don't actually see anything. It’s all a blur behind the exhaustion, tears, and crippling anxiety.

My heart races at the sound of the garage door whirring, but I’m stuck in place. Even as I hear it again, even as the door into the kitchen opens and Lochlyn walks through.

The second he turns around, a smile on his face, rage turns my blood to boiling lava. My jaw hurts at the tension and my nails dig into my palms.

“Hey, baby.” He gives me a kiss on the forehead as he walks past me like nothing happened. Like he hasn’t been goneallnight without a word.

“Where were you?” Lochlyn freezes in his tracks. Tension rolls down him, tightening every muscle from his shoulders down.

“I got snowed in with the band. I stayed at the house they’re renting, and crashed on the couch. I would never cheat on you, Shay. Nothing happened.” He jumps right to what he thinks I'd be upset or worried about.

Maybe at some point, I would have been. But we've been way beyond that point for years. Chelsea would say that he’s going to that because of a guilty conscience. But I know he’s not.

“I know that, Lochlyn. That’s not why I’m mad. I’m mad because my fiancé was gone all night with a crazy snowstorm happening. I was worried sick about you! The last thing I heard was that you were leaving soon.”

“What? No. I sent you a text…” Reaching into his pocket, he pulls his phone out, swiping it open. His whole body shrinks. “I…I never hit send. Fuck. Baby girl, I amsosorry.” He runs a hand along the back of his neck. “I keep fucking up here.”

I can't help but release some tension at his admission of guilt. My jaw is thankful, as are my palms.

“Tell me how I can make this up to you, Shay. Please.” Lochlyn’s keeping his distance, probably assuming that I'd withdraw if he got too close.

Chewing my inner lip, I look into his eyes. Those startling blues still steal my breath. They've always been so expressive. And right now, they’re filled with remorse.

In so many instances lately, an internal war begins within my mind, my body. I ache to be near him, against him, but the trembling anger still resides within me.

“Will you just hold me for a little while?” Today, the ache wins as my shoulder tips up.

He’s on me in half a second, pulling me against him, one hand tangling in my hair as he presses my head into his chest.

Walking backward, towing me along with him, he walks to the couch and sits, settling me into his lap. My hand reaches under his shirt, tracing along the lyrics on his ribs. Even years later, it’s still one of my preferred comfort strategies, one of the ways I connect myself to Lochlyn.

We sit in near silence. The only sounds are when Lochlyn kisses the top of my head and the whispers of apologies and ‘I love yous’ he sprinkles across my hair.

His hand starts to slide up my shirt, and I feel him hardening beneath me. Taking my chin in his hand, Lochlyn turns my face toward his, brushing his lips along mine. The kiss is soft, hesitant, questioning.

Desire overtakes me, and I quickly adjust myself so I’m straddling him, my fingers diving into his hair, lips pressing tightly to his.

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