Page 16 of No Limits

The truth of it doesn’t matter.

By some magic of the universe, we make it through dinner with no other major issues. It’s, of course delicious. Despite his sidetracked mind, Lochlyn can cook with his eyes closed, even if the soup was a bit lumpy.

Chelsea and Wes stay for dessert, their contribution, and some coffee before quickly making an exit. One thing that’s never changed is that Chelsea likes to go to bed early and shop on Black Friday.

Once they’re gone, Lochlyn and I clean up in silence. I scrub the dishes while he dries and stores the leftovers. It’s not until the final dish is put away that he speaks.

“I know things have been tense and tough. But you’re my main focus, Shay. I’m doing this for us, for you. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life, no matter what that may be now or in the future. I’m trying to secure that.” He can’t meet my eyes, but his voice is low and pained.

“All I’ve ever wanted is you, Lochlyn.” I’d happily live in a box on the side of the road with him if it meant I truly had him. I don’t need a fancy car or this big house with granite counters. Yes, both are beautiful, but he’s all I want.

“Well, you have me. Sometimes, I wonder if I can say the same about you.” With that, he throws the towel on the counter and walks away, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

Chapter 8

“Whatkindofflowersdo you want?” Chelsea’s sitting beside me at the eat-at counter in my kitchen. Wedding fliers and pictures are scattered all around the large surface, with a binder open between us.

She’s gone into full-on party planning mode. For both of us. They’re planning their wedding too, though Wes and Chelsea will get married a few months after Lochlyn and I do.

“I don’t know. I don’t care much about flowers. Isn’t there just some sort of standard?” I’m leaning forward over the counter, utterly flustered. Who knew there were so many decisions to make?

“No, there’s not. Come on, Shay, there’re roses, lilies. Oooh yeah, let’s do lilies. You like those.” She makes notes in the notebook spread in front of her.

“I do like stargazers. Okay, we can do those. In purple.”

“Purple, gotcha. And we can mix roses and then ask the florist what else goes nicely for your bouquet. And then for us, we’ll do smaller versions. Or just whatever will match well with yours. Do you want Lochlyn to have a stargazer on his lapel?”

“Um. Yeah, I suppose he should. Right?”

“Well, we could also mix in calla lilies and then he can have a calla instead. It’s up to you.”

With a groan, I put my head down on the counter, the cool granite chilling me through. “You decide.” I wave my hand in her general direction.

“Come on, Shay. It’s not so terrible. We can head over to the florist again and look at some of the pretty flowers and bring some home for ourselves.”

“I just figured I’d be doing this with Lochlyn.” A lot of the planning has been done solo or with Chelsea, even though I figured I’d do all of it with Lochlyn. Especially since it’sourwedding.

“Oh, trust me, he doesn’t care about flowers. He’ll do the other stuff. The food tasting is the best part. He’ll love that.”

I should consider myself lucky to have Chelsea, especially since she’s so into all of this. But I had these visions of laughing and having fun with Lochlyn while we planned. That he’d take me to the florist and insist on buying a bouquet of all the flowers I picked so I could see what my wedding bouquet would look like, because that’s just the type of guy he is.

As it is, I’ve barely had his assistance since picking a venue. And even that was hard to maintain his attention. He told me he wanted me to be happy, that he didn’t care about the place as long as he got to marry me. In fact, he keeps telling me that, just changing the detail. But I want his help. Us doing it together would make me happy.

He either doesn’t understand that or doesn’t care.

I understand he’s busy. The firm was so impressed with how he handled Play it Louder, they gave him four more bands. He’s trying to build a future for us, trying to make sure he’s giving his job all that he can. But it feels like things are slipping through the cracks, and lately, it feels likeI’mone of those things.

“So, flowers are essentially done. You have a date, a venue, and the groom. When do you want to go dress shopping? And do you want your mom to come? I’m assuming no Logan, but I want to verify.”

Logan. My sister. At least genetically speaking. We talk every so often now, but it’s few and far between. She at least apologized for being absent for years and congratulated me on my engagement, saying she wants to be present. But she’s been married and since had two kids and all I got was an invite in the mail. Not even a phone call, and I certainly wasn’t asked to be part of it the way most sisters are.

I don’t even know my niece and nephew outside of a tablet screen. She hasn’t brought them here, and hasn’t invited me there.

The relationship is what it is, and I’ve made peace with that.

“No Logan. I’m not even sure I want her at the wedding. Yes to Mom, if she’ll come. I’m a little worried about how the whole process will go over with Dad being gone, since this is kind of a big deal. Logan chose to get married in private, with none of us around. This isn’t that.”

“Okay. Do you want to call your mom, or do you want me to? I don’t mind if you’d prefer.” Chelsea and Mom have almost as good of a relationship as Mom and I do. After everything happened with Wes, she started using Mom as her own motherly support. I don’t mind one bit, as Chelsea needs somebody and hasn’t had a true parental figure in far longer than Mom was MIA for me.

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