Page 82 of Setting Limits

He stares at me silently for a few minutes before softening and sighing heavily. But he rolls to his side and pulls my back to his chest, looping his arm tightly around my middle.

With gentle fingers, he pulls my hair over my shoulder and kisses along my neck. “I love you, Chelsea. I wish more than anything we weren’t in this place. And while it hurts to be here next to you, while it’s going to kill me to leave, I know right here is where I have to be right now. It’s where I want to be.”

I was supposed to study today, something I desperately needed. I was on my way out when Wes showed up. But nothing else seems as important as this, as being here with him, for him, enjoying him.

Hours upon hours of our bodies moving together seems like pure heaven right now. Because I know at the end of this, nothing will be different. I can’t convince him to stay with my body, and he can’t convince me to try long distance with his.

More than anything, more than hours of sex, I want to feel him wrapped around me, just like this. I want to sleep in his arms one last time. It’s truly the only place I’ve ever felt safe and loved.

But the hours of sex don’t happen. Instead, feeling at ease for the first time in days, I drift off to sleep with Wes wrapped around me.

As sleep dissipates, so does my feeling of security. Reaching behind me, I find a cold bed, the blankets and sheet tucked up, as though somebody were trying to make half of it.

Wes is gone.

He couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye. He just left.

And maybe he did it to ease the pain of saying goodbye. But I’m not sure this is better, waking up to his absence.

Before I can stop myself, I explode, a sob breaking from my chest as tears erupt from my eyes. The whole bed rattles with my shakes, and I curl into a ball, tugging the pillow into my chest.

I press it to my face as I break down, screaming into it as the pain of his departure tears me in half.

I know he’s not coming back. Last night was the last I’ll see of Wes, at least intentionally. It was the last time I’ll feel his lips graze mine, the last I’ll feel his body against mine.

He’s gone.Graduation is in a week and a half. I’ll be there for Lochlyn, and Wes should be there, too. But I won’t hug him, won’t be there to be the doting, proud girlfriend. I’ll be the girl whose heart was torn to shreds when she woke up without him.

He left in a cowardly way while I was sleeping, so he wouldn’t have to face this, wouldn’t have to see the destruction he’s leaving in his wake.

The door creaks open, and I barely hear the intake of breath over my own misery. The sounds coming from my body are akin to that of a dying animal. And I don’t feel entirely different.

Shay comes in quickly, climbing up on the bed and moving behind me, wrapping her arms around me much like Wes had last night. But it’s not the same. Nothing will ever be the same again.

Wes is gone. And I’m utterly broken.

Chapter 43

“AftereverythingI’vetoldhim, everything he knows I’ve been through, how could he still abandon me?” The sobbing has barely stopped for weeks. Wes is officially gone.

The onslaught today? I went into Wes’s room, not even thinking. I moved into the apartment at the end of the year. It had been my plan before Wes left, and there’s nothing for me at home. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

“He didn’tabandonyou, Chels, he left for grad school. It’s an amazing opportunity.” Lochlyn never sees the negative.

“He still left.”

Lochlyn sighs and looks up at the ceiling before looking over at Shay. “You try. Maybe she’ll listen to you more.”

With a tight smile, Shay stands and comes closer, trailing her fingers across Lochlyn’s shoulders. She sits right in front of me, and her eyes meet mine.

“No. No way, don’t you start.” I can barely get the words out around the painful lump in my throat.

She huffs and shakes her head, her dark curls bouncing around her face. “Chels. You know he didn’t abandon you, and what happened with your parents, that’s shitty, you and I both know that, but you can’t look at every other person the same way.” She’s silent as she looks at the ceiling and swallows. “I know, maybe better than anybody, that sometimes when we’re faced with a hard decision, even if one choice is the person we love, that sometimes we don’t always choose that person.”

When I open my mouth to retort, she quickly stops me by taking my hands in hers and scooching closer.

“I’m not saying that I made the wrong choice, or the right choice, or blaming you at all. It’s just what I know to be true. And for me, it all worked out, because I have both of you. But I think if you give it a little time, and have a little faith, you’ll see that it works out for you too.”

The bouncing of my leg increases tenfold, and before I can bite them back, the tears flood my eyes. “But he still left, Shay.”

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