Page 71 of Setting Limits

“You’re going to California?”

Wes straightens on the couch, looking around the room, knowing that this can turn volatile any second if he’s notextremelycareful with his word choice. “I haven’t decided yet, but it’s a possibility.”

“And you didn’t think that you might want to, I don’t know, inform yourgirlfriendthat you may be movingacross the motherfucking country?” The last words are yelled, and I feel the prickle of a dozen eyes on me.

I can’t take it. The staring, the judgment, the desertion. Not again.

So, I leave first. I drop the bowl I was carrying right where I stand, turn on my heel, and walk right out the door, not even closing it behind me.

“Fuck,” is all I can hear behind me, from the one person who has every reason to utter it. I can practically picture him putting his beer on the table and jumping over it to give chase.

Which I know he’s done as he catches up with me. But I ignore his presence, looking over his shoulder when he walks backward in front of me. It’s not until he puts his hands on my shoulders and physically stops me that I dare glance into his cobalt blues. I can’t stand what they’ll reveal, and I can’t afford to get lost in them right now.

And they’re filled with what I expected—sympathy, heartache, and a touch of irritation.

“You’re leaving?” I speak before he dares to utter a word. Before he has a chance to sway me with his words and lull me into a false sense of security.

“I haven’t decided yet, sweets.” His voice is low and calming. Or at least he’s trying to make it be.

“Don’tsweetsme, Wes. Not right now.”

His shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh. Carefully, he examines me, before pulling me into his chest, placing the top of my head firmly under his chin. “I got accepted, Chels. That’s all. I haven’t decided about going.”

“But why would you even apply without telling me?”

“Because it was before we were dating.”

“Then why haven’t you told me since? Why didn’t you tell me when you got the acceptance letter?” So many missed opportunities, it seems.

“I didn’t know how. The right time or the right way. You never want to talk about it, so I hid behind that.” Defeat is heavy in his tone.

“And this seemed like it? In a room full of people who can watch me break down?”

“No, not even a little. We were talking about next year, and it just sort of came out. I’m sorry.” Adjusting his hold on me, he takes my cheeks between his hands and leans down to be eye level with me. His thumbs stroke hastily at my temples like he’s worried. “Chelsea, you mean everything to me. Please trust I would never hurt you.”

Does he not see that leavingwouldhurt me? It makes sense, though. Everybody important to me leaves in one way or another. WhynotWes? Why would he be any different?

Shay and Lochlyn are still here, but it’s not the same, it’s not how it used to be. And that’s okay, because I love them separately and together, and I’m glad they have one another to be happy with.

But where’s my happiness? Where’s my one person who will stay no matter what? I thought Wes was it.

“Chelsea, listen. I have serious thinking to do about this, but know thatifI were to choose to go to Stanford, I would want us to stay together.”

“To do what? Across the country long-distance? That’s not like what Shay and Lochlyn went through, Wes. That’s…a country separating us. Not a few-hour car ride. I…I don’t know that I can do that.” Panic starts to make my mind swirl and my heart race.

Leaving. He’s leaving.

“We’ll figure it out, Chels. And that’s evenifthere’s something to figure out. There may not be.”

I crash back into him, roping my arms around his waist and squeezing tight as I bury my face in his chest. A deep inhale of his spicy scent puts me at ease, my muscles loosening enough that my shoulders slump.

“I don’t want you worrying about this, sweets. I don’t want every interaction and day we have together to have this hanging over us. Can you try to put it out of your mind? I promise we’ll talk about it when we need to, but for now, can you put it aside?”

Though I’m not sure I can, I nod against him.

“Do you want me to take you back to your room instead of back inside?”

I almost forgot that his apartment is basically filled with people, including my brother and best friend. While a small part of me wonders why neither of them has come out to check on me, I know that they trust I’m in good hands with Wes, that they aren’t needed, just as I’d feel if the tables were turned.

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