Page 7 of Setting Limits

“Okay, Shay. If you say so.” While I don’t believe a word of what she says and am sure Lochlyn just played a very convincing role, I know she needs to hear that right now.

Her shoulders uncurl, standing taller as she keeps walking.

I don’t know if it’s what she said, how she said it, or this moment in time, but it strikes me that maybe Shay is right. As far as I’m concerned, Lochlyn is a player, and the rumors have to be at least partially true, because they come from somewhere. But based on how long Shay and Lochlyn were together, I’m sure there are things about him I don’t know. And I never bothered to ask Shay about their relationship. It was the first real one she ever had.

“Hey.” I’m a touch out of breath as I catch up with her, falling behind while I was stuck in my head. “I know what I did was shitty but, I would like to know a little about your relationship. It was a big deal for you, being your first and all.”

“I’ll tell you anything you want, Chelsea, but I’m not willing to take any flack for it. You don’t get to complain or bitch about the answers or give me a hard time for lying to you.”

I chew my bottom lip as I consider. She’s not really asking for a lot, but the whole thing still stings, clearly for all of us. “How about you just tell me anything you want me to know?”

When she keeps walking silently, I think she’s not going to say anything. But her voice quietly reaches my ears. “He treated me like a princess. I came up for his birthday, and he made me pizza with my favorite toppings, which he remembered from a brief passing conversation. Our love, it was…intense. Deep. All-encompassing. We had silently longed for each other for so long, that when we finally got together, it was powerful.”

Her voice is stronger, and there’s a lightness to it that hasn’t been around in weeks.

“We talked every single day we were together. And snuck around lots of nights over the summer when you were with Brendan. The concert we all went to, that was a rough weekend for me. It had been my time to see him after a long and very hard six weeks of the semester before his break. That was going to help me get through the next six, but you wanted to come, and he didn’t have a good reason to tell you no. We were late coming out in the morning because I was sobbing.” Her eyes meet mine, and it drives a burning dagger through my chest.

Shay cried that weekend? And I had no idea. I know I can be a selfish person, but I’ve always tried to be there for Shay. To support her, to pick her up when she’s down. This, right now with everything going on with Lochlyn, is the one time I haven’t been.

“Chelsea, I know those rumors exist, but they’re not true.” I knew this was going to come up. And I already know that I don’t believe her, don’t believe it at all.

“Shay, let me ask you something. If Lochlyn had been unfaithful to you, would you have known?”

“No. I wouldn’t have.”

“Then how can you be so sure he wasn’t?”

“I didn’t always believe that he was or would be. But I trust him, Chels. I trust him with my life, my heart, my soul. My entire being. He wouldn’t have done that to me. He wouldn’t have hurt me. He wouldn’t.” Something in her voice makes me wonder if now she’s trying to convince herself instead of me. Maybe she’s finally starting to see the light, to question things.

When she says nothing more, I know that Shay’s lost in her head.

It’s not until we get to a little cafe, a place Shay clearly knew existed with the way she walked to it with purpose, that she speaks again. “Just know that I truly love him. And I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to stop.”

Without another word, she disappears through the door.

But whatever voice she found on the way here is gone again on our walk back. A quick glance in her direction and I find a single tear dripping down her cheek. It causes a heavy sigh to pull from my lungs.

She just needs more time. The distraction of classes, which start in two days. Shay’s a dedicated student. She’ll put her focus into school, and Lochlyn will become a distant memory. Hopefully she’ll even be able to meet a nice guy who will treat her right and have the best intentions. Maybe I can even help with that.

There’s bound to be a guy somewhere that has fewer miles than my brother. Somebody who will appreciate Shay for more than just her body. Though, the look on her face right now tells me that maybe it’s better to wait a bit.

Who knows, maybe a nice guy will sit next to her in class or something. I don’t know, all the meetup things that happen in movies and books. I think Shay said it’s called a “meet cute” or something like that. It may not happen right away, but it will.

And it will be the right person for her, or at least somebody better than Lochlyn. We’re in college, so it’s rare to find people who haven’t been around the block a time or two, but she can hopefully find somebody who hasn’t made their way through town.

I can see it now. Some cute guy with dark hair sits down next to her in science or something. I don’t even know if Shay is taking a science class, but that’s the idea.

It will happen. It has to. Because otherwise, I truly destroyed my best friend. And that’s something that I don’t know that I can live with.

Chapter 6

We’rethreeweeksintoclasses, and Shay still hasn’t broken out of her funk. She still cries, day and night. I truly thought she’d have moved on by now, but it seems that with each day that passes, her heart is not only less healed, but possibly even more broken.

What have I done? How could I have donethis?

It’s terribly confusing. On the one hand, I feel horrible. On the other, I just don’t understand how she could be this broken up aboutLochlyn. Not to mention, she’s still giving me the attitude like I ruined her life. How can she not see that this hurt will go away if she just lets it go and stops wallowing in it.

But at this point, I’ve had enough of her demeanor. “Come on, Shay, seriously. You made your choice.”

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