Page 48 of Setting Limits

Lochlyn probably has no idea about this, but it’s the only way to truly show my appreciation and love for him. Not to mention to fully honor all he’s done.

“When my parents eventually started leaving is probably the point in my life that I changed. If I could pick any one defining moment, that would be it. Because after years and years of trying to be enough for them, for them to show me again the love I was pretty sure they had at one point, they started leaving. For extended periods of time and without a second thought about us. It dawned on me that I wouldneverbe good enough.

“It broke me more than I’d ever really care to admit and probably more than I even truly realize. The people closest to me, Shay and Lochlyn, paid the price. They dealt with my moodiness, my inadequacies that revealed themselves as bossiness and controlling behavior. All I wanted was for them tostay,and what I didn’t realize at the time was acting the way I did was likely going to push them away. And I’m really lucky it didn’t.” How lucky I truly am. Even after my behavior this summer, and they arestillby my side. I don’t deserve either of them.

“The thought of them being together always felt kind of weird to me. Shay and I were so close it was like we were all one family, which obviously is ludicrous. Some of that also had to do with how her parents always treated and welcomed me. They were the same with Lochlyn, but he wasn’t around as much, being older than us. For some reason that I’ll never understand or be able to explain, I thought if they got together at any point, they’d ditch me, and I’d lose them both, just like I’d lost everybody else.”

While I spend less time with both of them now, I wouldn’t say they've ditched me. Not even close. Besides, right now, while I’m not ready to tell them about me and Wes, I appreciate their absence.

“I know it’s crazy, and far-fetched, and not fair. But my parents deciding to vacation instead of being parents really fucked with my mind. It’s part of why I never did a real relationship, or at least not one I saw working. It’s whyIalways ended things.”

This whole long-winded story has had a point all along. And my heart races as a bead of sweat drips down my spine as I get to the point. What if he doesn’t feel the same way?

“I guess what I’m getting at here, in a very roundabout way, is that I see this working, Wes. Iwantit to. So, I’m not looking to cut and run. Yes, some part of me is still worrying that you’re going to break my heart, and that may never go away. But I’m trying to bring down my walls and go all in with you. Because I think it’s worth it. For the first time in a very, very long time, I think it’s worth taking the risk.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, because I do, too.” His voice is gentle and sweet.

He comes closer, taking my chin in his fingers and pressing his body against mine, tipping my face up to his. “And let me make one thing clear. You may be a selfish bitch and a bit of a brat, if I’m being honest, but with me, you are none of those things, and you will be none of those things, or you will be punished. Got it?”

“Punished how?” Suddenly, I’m extremely curious.

“I’m sure I can think of a few things that you wouldn’t appreciate. You know how I’ve edged you a few times? How does a day’s worth of that sound?”

“Terrible.” Yet incredibly tantalizing.

“Or maybe I just withhold from you all together. Maybe I don’t even let you come and leave you on edge until I feel you’ve been punished enough.”

“That sounds just plain mean.”

“Oh, sweetness, you have no idea how mean I can be when I need to be.”

That deep timber in his voice and those incredibly dangerous words he’s speaking are making my chest heave and my panties soak.

A low chuckle draws my attention back to his eyes when my gaze had drifted to his lips. “Like the sound of that a little bit? Maybe I need to think of something else. You like when I fuck your mouth too much, so it can’t be that. Hm. I’ll have to come up with something.”

“Who knew you were so filthy?”

“Oh, sweetness. You haven’t seen anything yet.”

I push myself on top of him, rolling us to his back. His arms loop around my waist as he holds me against him, my hair wild and crazy around us.

“Show me.”

This dominant dirty talker is nothing I realized I needed, but am extremely happy to have found. The fact that it’s wrapped in an Adonis body is just an added perk.

“Not now sweetness. We fuck onmyterms. And one thing I know is that you’ve used sex to deal with low feelings in the past. So instead, I’m going to hold you, and kiss you, and tell you all the things that wow me about you. Because, Chelsea, you are an amazing person, despite the hurt your parents have buried inside you.”

To match his words, Wes turns us on our side, pulling my back against his chest. He loops some waves behind my shoulder and presses his lips to my ear. “You’re stunningly beautiful, a more loyal friend and sister than you realize, sexy as fuck.” To enforce his point, he slides his hand down my body.

I keep still as he continues to list all the things he likes about me, the list going on and on, bringing tears to my eyes. Because for the first time in years, somebody not only sees me, but actually likes what they see.

Chapter 25

It’soneofmydays to spend with Wes. Lochlyn and Shay both have classes all day and stay on campus—usually in the library—in between classes. Wes has none today, and I’m on my trek back across campus after my one, early morning class.

When I get to his apartment, I take a deep breath before knocking. There’s still a swarm of butterflies in my stomach every time I get to be with him. I place that on the newness of things, but I’m not sure the feeling will ever go truly go away in Wes’s presence.

“Come in!” Hm. He usually opens the door.

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