Page 45 of Setting Limits

His hand slides between our bodies, and his thumb swirls my clit. My spine peels off the mattress, and my chest glides against his.

“Fuck!” I all but scream, before I start to tremble and moan loudly, my nails digging into his shoulders.

When I clench around him, he groans, and his breath hitches as he pumps into me a few more times before collapsing on top of me.

As we take a moment to lie here, entangled in one another, our bodies slick with sweat, reality slams back down on me.

And just like that, I realize that I’m the world’s biggest hypocrite.

Chapter 23

“Holyshit.Ican’tbelieve that just fucking happened. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking about it or wanting it, especially lately. But…holy shit.”

“So, what now?” While I feel like utter shit for being a hypocrite, denying my feelings for Wes is no longer possible. I did it for months, and now that we’ve been together, there’s just no way to avoid it. Plus, there’s no way I could live withoutthatagain. It was utterly mind blowing.

Weston rolls onto his side, propping his head on his hand and running a finger softly down my chest and back up again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, was it a one-time thing or wa—”

“Absolutely fucking not! Chelsea, I thought it was clear. I thoughtIwas clear. This, you and me, isnota one-time thing. I want to be with you. And I’m fucking staying here tonight, too.” As if the decision is final, he flops to his back.

We lie in silence for a minute, both working through what he just said, when he turns to me and leans on his elbow. “Unless…unless you don’t want this. Or don’t want me to stay.” The pain in his voice slices through me.

“No, Weston. It’s not that. Trust me. It’s just…it feels wrong. We still need to hide from Lochlyn and Shay, and it’s not fair to you, and I don’t know if you’re willing to continue doing that.” Especially now that we’ve slept together. Now that things have taken this step.

“Why do we still need to hide, Chelsea?”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“What do you think would happen if we told them?”

“Iknowthat Lochlyn would be furious. Shay’s too level-headed to be angry.” Though I’m sure she’d be hurt and in so many ways that’s worse.

Turning and sitting up, Wes pulls me to sitting and forward so my legs are over his. “Listen to me, Chelsea. I know Lochlyn pretty damn well. And I can tell you that all he’d want is for you to be happy. For me to be happy. For us to be happy together.”

“You maybe, but definitely not me.” I turn my face to the side and stare at my comforter, biting back the tears waiting to break free.

“Why not?”

“Because I ruined his life!” I glance back at Wes just in time to see pain skitter through his irises.

“You did not ruin his life, Chelsea. He and Shay are back together.”

Sure, I’ll let him think that’s the only way I’ve ruined his life. “But I hurt him, so much. I nearly destroyed the only important part of his life when I hurt Shay. He’ll never truly forgive me for that.”

“He already has, Chels. I don’t know how you can’t see that. Or maybe it’s that you don’t want to. Or that you haven’t forgiven yourself, and this is all a projection. You’ve seen them together, Chels. We’ve talked about how annoying they are. They both forgive you. I know they do.”

When I do nothing but stare at him, he sighs and looks at the ceiling. “You know, after you went to talk to him and put things back together, he and I had a chat. It was a few weeks later, when you and Shay were having one of your girls’ nights or something. He told me that he felt like you coming to him, trying to put things right, was very mature of you, that it showed growth. Something he wasn’t sure he’d ever see.

“I spend a lot of time with Lochlyn, even Shay, and especially both of them together. I promise, neither of them harbors any ill feelings toward you. They forgive you, fully. Maybe it’s time you try to forgive yourself a little.” There’s a softness to his tone, and I know he’s being sincere and not just trying to get me to give in.

“I’ll try. But, for now, I’m not ready to tell them.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I raise up and press my lips against his before he can. “I will, but not yet. Even if you think nothing will come of it, I want a little more time to just enjoy…whatever this is…before anybody else knows.”

“Okay. I can grant you that.”

I don’t know how to tell him that it’s not just that. That I’m worried about getting into something with somebody who may be leaving in a few months. If I already feel this much after just a few weeks, how will I feel in six months? While I don’t know what his plans are after graduation, I could never ask somebody to stay here for me. Telling Lochlyn and Shay makes it real, and before I tell them, I need to sort things out.

Still holding me tightly, Weston adjusts us so we’re laying down. We’re still completely naked, something I haven’t done in…ever. This is foreign to me. But it feels so right, so comforting.

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