Page 33 of Setting Limits

“Chels, you’re supposed to be giving him the benefit of the doubt now. You two made up, I thought.” She sounds utterly disappointed in me, and it causes a pain to zing through my chest.

“You’re right, Shay. I’m sorry. Old habits. I’m trying. I really am.”

“I know. You both mean a lot to me. I hate seeing you at odds.”

I nod slowly and chew the inside of my lip. I hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten between me and Lochlyn until things came to a head with their relationship.

“I have missed his cooking. It always smells so good. I bet it’s something amazing.”

The proud smile that spans her face warms my heart. It’s the way a boyfriend or girlfriend should feel about their significant other. And I know the second we walk into the kitchen, Lochlyn’s face will light up at just the mere sight of her. His smile is more brilliant than I've ever seen it.

“I’m happy you’re happy, Shay. You deserve it.”

She meets my eyes, and I swallow the flutter in my throat.

“Are you happy, Chels?”

Taking a deep breath and staring just beyond her shoulder, I take a minute to compose my thoughts the best way I can.

“I will be.”

Chapter 19

Saturdaymorning,aswepile into the car, I’m feeling refreshed for the first time in months. Maybe it’s sleeping in my childhood bed, the one that seems to have my shape permanently indented. Maybe it’s the comfort of home, even if it hasn’t felt like much of one in recent years.

Or maybe, it’s because all the guilt and discomfort I’ve had for so long is finally starting to ease.

Breaking up with Brendan was a huge hurdle to cross, and one I kept avoiding even though I knew it needed to happen. That alone makes me feel lighter and freer.

But last night was one of the first times that I'd been with both Lochlyn and Shay outside of our tiny dorm room. They both had other rooms to go to, other places they could have gone. But they didn’t. We all hung out, watching TV and talking like we used to before they got together. It put me at ease a bit.

There were still odd moments here and there. It was a little awkward as they snuggled on the couch, Shay leaning back into Lochlyn’s side while his arm was around her waist. But they kept things calm, not even kissing in front of me.

And while I certainly tried my hardest to block out any sounds, I didn’t hear anything that would be associated with sex. Which I’m eternally grateful for, as I know I’m not there yet.

“Everybody ready?” Lochlyn leans his forearms on the top of the car and looks at us.

Shay and I look at each other and nod.

“Alright, let’s hit it.” He’s halfway into the car when he stops and climbs back out. “Oh, before, I forget. We’re doing a movie night with Wes tonight at the apartment. So, Chels, if you want, I can drop you off or you can come right over. And we can swing by the store to get whatever we need.”

“Movie night?” All the breath in my lungs is suddenly gone.

“Yeah, Wes messaged me last night about it. He was pretty insistent it be today.”

“I didn’t even know he’d be back before tomorrow.” Shay sounds disappointed, and I can tell it’s because she was hoping for a night alone at the apartment.

“He planned to stay, but I guess something made him change his mind.” With a shrug, Lochlyn lowers himself into the car, and Shay quickly follows.

Wes insisted that we do movie night?

“Chels! Get in the car.”

I have to give a shake of my head to chase away the haze I’ve found myself in.

Shay’s asleep within twenty minutes of being on the highway, and I’m not far behind her, thinking of nothing but movie night.

Lochlyn has to gently shake me awake when we’re back on campus. Shay’s still passed out in the front seat, even though the car isn’t moving. I forgot how exhausting road trips can be, and there were a lot of nerves and built-up tension associated with this one, for both of us.

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