Page 31 of Setting Limits

“So, then I don’t see the problem.”

“Because I want that, Brendan. I want to feel that way.” More than anything. I’m not sure I even deserve it, but I want to find out.

“That’s not like a normal thing, Chelsea. Not everybody gets that or has that feeling.” By his tone, I can tell he thinks it’s a stupid idea, a fantasy that doesn’t exist. And maybe it is, maybe it’s a one-in-a-million type of thing, but if Iknowthis person isn’t for me, why stay? Why drag it out?

“I’m aware of that. But don’t I deserve a chance to find it with somebody? Don’t you? If we know it’s not here, why keep this going? Why not give ourselves a chance to maybe find it elsewhere?”

He hangs his head between his knees. Even during this conversation, he hasn’t stood to be on my level.

After a few minutes of silence, I start chewing my lip, not sure what else to say.

“Is there somebody else?”

I’m so thrown off guard, I take a step back. “What?”

“Do you have feelings for somebody else? Like Wesley?”

Heat races up my spine, tingling along my hairline. “Weston.”

“Right, Weston. Is there something going on between you two?”

“No, Brendan.” Technically, I’m not lying. There’s nothing going on between us, and I don’t know what to make of these feelings, because they’re likely nothing and just associated with my drunken ass.

“It would make sense. When we were there for the concert, he just seemed togetyou. In a very close way. At first, I thought you two just knew each other, him being Lochlyn’s roommate for a few years. But when I found out you barely saw each other, I was kind of confused. You two had this…bond, a kinship.”

He finally meets my eyes, and I see a pain he’s clearly been hiding for months.

“I understand, Chelsea. I do. It was almost tangible, the bond between you two. I know there may not be anything between you two now, but I wouldn’t pass that up if I were you.”

“Weston doesn’t have feelings for me. He barely even recognizes me.” It’s the party line I’ve been trying to sell myself since the event, though that’s getting harder to do, especially with the prospect of movie night.

“Trust me, babe, he does.”

My heart races at the notion, and it makes me feel like a horrible person. Here I am, breaking up with one person, excited about the potential he sees with another.

“I’m sorry, Bren. Really, I am.”

“It’s okay, Chels. I get it. We had fun together, but we were never going the long haul.” He finally stands and steps right in front of me, dipping his head so his nose can brush mine. “You were always too good for me. I’m thankful for every moment we had.”

I push up on my toes to give him one brief final kiss.

Leaving his mom’s house, I don’t really feel anything. No remorse, no regrets. If anything, there’s a new lightness in my chest. It’s as though a weight has been lifted. One I didn’t even realize I was shouldering.

For months, I thought I was happy with Brendan. It’s in this moment that I realize I was fooling myself. Even though things weren’t perfect, I kept telling myself they were good enough to keep it going.

When we met, he was sweet, devoted, and liked to please me. As things shifted, I either didn’t notice, or refused to accept the reality. Plus, I had a deep need to prove Lochlyn wrong.

It’s childish, and I realize the error of my ways now. The past several months have started a real growing process for me. And ending things with Brendan when I know there’s nothing there is a major step. The first was fixing what I broke between Shay and Lochlyn. That one I’ll try to make right for the rest of my life.

One thing I can do is drive around a bit right now instead of going home. They expected me to be gone all weekend, and my goal is to be as silent as I can when I get back, so they think they’re alone. They deserve that, at least.

They really deserve so much more from me, but it’s all I can give them right now.

Chapter 18

Theconcentrationandsteadyhand it takes to paint my own nails is nothing short of infuriating. I never had to do it myself until my parents cut me off. Like my reason wasn’t valid. Sheesh.

Though I've been enrolled for a few months now, the money comes back in trickles. Lochlyn, of course, makes sure I’m taken care of, but he’s always thought my need to get manicures regularly is excessive and a waste of money. The little I had saved up is long gone, partially on presents I already bought for Christmas.

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