Page 27 of Setting Limits

Though he says it in a joking tone, it hurts a little to hear that. While Shay spends most of her time at Lochlyn’s, I always assumed it waswithLochlyn. Though if Wes is around a lot, I guess maybe they all hang out. Kind of like how we used to.

“Stop. We just get along well, have some similar interests. You should like that. It’d be worse if your roommate hated me.” She bumps her shoulder into his as her face pinks.

“I’d just move.”

“You still can.”

“I’m just teasing. I like that you and Wes get along. I like to think it makes you not as lonely while you’re there without me.” There without him? I thought when she was without him, she was either here or in the library.

Shay must see my forlorn face. “Oh, Chels, it’s not often. Usually just here and there when I’m waiting for Lochlyn to get back from class. Or if he takes a quick trip to Wegmans when I don’t feel like tagging along. It’s time I’d be there anyway or if I know you’re in class. I promise I’d be here otherwise.”

All I can do is nod. I have to trust she means it, trust that she’d tell me the truth if not. She has no reason to lie, being more open and honest.

“That officially settles it, then. Chelsea, you’re coming for dinner. I’ll make lasagna or something that feeds a lot of us, since I’m starving.”

My stomach starts to feel like it’s eating itself at the thought. Lochlyn’s lasagna is next level. Most things he cooks are, really. It’s hard to order anything at a restaurant because Lochlyn’s food is just so much better. Why bother getting it at a restaurant when you can get better, and healthier, at home?

“Okay, if you insist. You sure I won’t be a bother?”

“Absolutely not. Come on, let’s go. We’ll swing by the store and grab what I need before we get back.” Hopping off the bed, Lochlyn grabs his phone from the desk and gives it a quick glance. “Oh, I guess Wes won’t be around tonight. Something about a late class or something, hitting the library for a paper he has to finish. So, it’ll be just the three of us, like old times.” He smiles in my direction, and one part of my heart lifts at the prospect.

But for some weird reason, the other part drops. And it definitely shouldn’t.

This will just add to the time of not seeing Wes since the strange incident at the party. I have absolutely no idea what to make of it except that it was a night filled with fun, booze, and a touch of intoxication. Surely that played a role in both of our behavior.

Despite the disappointment that I feel at not seeing Wes, I know it’s for the best.

Chapter 15

IwishIhadbrought my pods with me. This music issonot my style. I put up with it every so often for Shay or Lochlyn, sometimes both, but the four-hour ride home for Thanksgiving is a long time.

My eyes keep flicking from my phone to the front seat. Lochlyn keeps his hand on Shay’s leg as much as he can. At one point, his hand runs down the length of her hair, and I lean forward a bit to hear him over the music.

“You can take a nap, baby girl. Close your eyes for a bit.” I think it’s cute that he calls her baby girl. She told me her stomach still flips at it. I can see why. I’m always just Chelsea to the guys I date.

“I’m okay. Maybe just coffee?”

Lochlyn’s already changing lanes to get ready for the upcoming service station. My brother’s always been a protector. Even of Shay. The writing was on the wall for years. I just never saw it. I’m pretty sure he’d lay the world at her feet if she asked him to.

Why can’t I find somebody to do that for me?

We all stretch once we get out of the car. Not that we’ve been driving for that long; it’s been about an hour, maybe an hour and a half, but it may be more a force of habit than anything.

When we meet at the front of the car, Lochlyn throws his arm over Shay’s shoulders and draws her against his side, kissing the top of her head. As we enter the rest stop, they get right at the end of the long line for coffee.

I keep my gaze glued to my phone as I check in with Marissa to see how her trip home is going. We’re not super close yet, but friendly enough to chat and commiserate outside the dorm. My thumb hesitates over Brendan’s name. He knows I’m coming home, but I haven’t given him a time frame. Nor has he asked for one.

Glancing up, I see Lochlyn has pulled Shay in front of him and his arms are wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her head while she leans back against his chest.

They’re so perfect together. And it’s incredibly adorable. Being the third wheel would normally feel awkward. But it’s been us three for so long. The dynamic has just shifted slightly. The fact that they’re both so deliriously happy makes it all worth it. I’ll gladly be the third wheel here and there for them to be so happy.

It’s nothing like I expected it to be. Everything I had been so worried about for so long was just plain silly and stupid. Had I actually opened my eyes and my mind, I would have seen that. Yes, I may spend a little more time alone than I previously had, but I’m learning how to be alone with myself, which I’m finding to be an important thing.

It’s hard too, facing my own demons and problems, things I was able to continuously sweep under the rug and keep hidden in my closet where the skeletons rest. But having to face those things head on, it’s been eye opening. And every day I’m alone, but I see the sheer happiness in Lochlyn and Shay, makes it easier.

When we’re only two people from ordering, Lochlyn turns to me. “You want something, Chels?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

---