Page 26 of Setting Limits

It’s nice to hear that she considers that for me. But I miss her all the same. Still, it’s not fair of me to bring that up, to bring that on them.

“I appreciate that. But I’m fine. Really. I can tell you guys love each other a lot.”

“That’s just Shay, Chels.” I glance up at him to see his mouth and pressed into a firm line. “Do you need extra time with her? Did something happen with Brendan?”

“No, no, I’m good. Just some guilt.” Lochlyn stares at me. He’s always been able to get things out of me. When I really don’t want him to know something, I avoid him. Otherwise, he knows something’s up. Shay had told me at one point after they got back together that there were things she told him before they even started dating that she never told me. While it hurt to hear, I understood. Lochlyn just has a way about him that makes you feel like you can talk to him. And Shay is the calmest person I've ever met. They really do belong together.

Taking a deep breath, I look at the ceiling. “I was just thinking that I didn’t expect you two to last. Part of me figured you’d get back together, and your old ways would crop up.” Some of it is guilt for what’s brewing inside me in regard to Weston. Not just for the hypocrisy of it, but because liking somebody while technically dating somebody else is something I’ve done in the past, and it’s one of those things I’d like to change about myself.

I glance at him long enough to see his scowl. It makes my heart drop.

“Chelsea. I’m not the person you thought I was. We've been over this. Those rumors? Not true. Not even half true. And even if they were, do you really think I could do that to Shay? Not only is she the most amazing person, but I’m madly in love with her.”

“I didn’t necessarily think you’d cheat on her. Just that you’d break up because you wanted to run around again. I don’t know. I feel shitty even thinking it.” So much so, that I wring my hands together, a sure sign I’m uncomfortable.

“Good. You should. Chelsea, if this is still weird for you, well, I’m sorry, but nothing’s going to change here.”

“No, no, it’s not. I mean…it is, but it’s fine. I've accepted it. I’m happy you guys are happy. I don’t know, I just feel like I used to have a best friendanda brother, and now I have less of both of you. It was one of my fears about you getting together.” Nothing like a fear coming true to make you regret a lot of things. Not them getting together, just the way it all came about and the fact that I’m now an afterthought. Maybe had I not been a self-righteous bitch, it wouldn’t be the case.

“We can make an effort to spend more time here. You’re welcome over at the apartment too. We’re not trying to shut you out, so I’m sorry if it feels that way.”

“It’s not that. I’m good, I promise. Just having some guilt about how I acted, some thoughts that cross my mind. May take some time for those thoughts to rationalize. I’m happy for you guys. Really. You've brought out a side of Shay I always knew she had in her. I've never seen either of you so happy.”

As if on cue, Shay floats into the room, freshly showered, her hair partially dry from something she calls “plopping,” which she told me helps gets the extra moisture out of her hair and locks in the products she uses. Her hair is gorgeous. I’d kill for curls like hers, and while I’m trying the process, I still barely get it. All I know is one time I watched her doing her hair and burst out laughing as she flipped it upside down and squeezed it into an old t-shirt.

Lochlyn slowly turns his attention from me to her as his face changes into a full-on beam. Hers matches his as she looks at him. She bounces over and hops up onto her bed, his arms opening for her, like it’s just an automatic action he doesn’t have to think about. They have some sort of silent conversation with their eyes. It makes me smile.

“You two are annoyingly cute together.” Shay starts to pull away, but Lochlyn tightens his grip around her, keeping her against him.

“Chels, why don’t you come by the apartment for dinner tonight?” Lochlyn asks breezily, keeping his eyes on Shay.

My stomach grumbles at the thought. I've missed Lochlyn’s cooking. It took Shay pointing out some more of my wrongness and selfishness where Lochlyn was concerned. In the past several weeks, I've had a lot of alone time to do some self-reflection. Lochlyn kept me not only fed, butwellfed. He’s a damn good cook.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not a bother, Chelsea. Wes will be there too. We can watch a movie or play a board game after. It’ll be fun.” Shay puts a positive spin on everything. I can tell Lochlyn agrees as he nuzzles his nose to her cheek, a wide smile on his face.

My stomach drops at the mention of Wes’s name. I haven’t seen him since the party over a week ago. I have no idea what happened or how to deal with it, but the thought of seeing him makes my heart race.

“As long as you’re sure you’re okay with it, yeah, that’d be really nice.” I can deal with some discomfort with Wes, or straight out avoid him, to spend some time with my two favorite people.

“Of course we are, Chels. We love you.” Lochlyn doesn’t turn to look at me as he answers me. It makes my heart flip every time either of them speaks in terms of ‘we’ in regards to the two of them. Like they’re one entity instead of two. I guess they are. Even on our set girls' nights where Shay is in our room for the night, she fights hard to not text Lochlyn, who doesn’t refrain from texting her. When I called him out, he said he just misses her. How can I argue with that level of devotion and love? It makes me insanely jealous.

Things with Brendan are less than stellar lately. This distance definitely doesn’t help. I should have broken up with him after that awful ski trip to Killington. Word to the wise, take your birth control perfectly so you don’t find out that your boyfriend doesn’t like kids and freaks out when you have a pregnancy scare.

“You know, I've missed your cooking, Lochlyn.”

He turns to me, surprised. “You’re paying me a compliment? Who are you and what have you done with Chelsea?” He narrows his eyes at me.

But Shay just elbows him in the ribs. She keeps us both in our place, much more so now that she’s shown she’ll stand up to me. While I’ve always taken charge and been selfish, I like that Shay doesn’t back down anymore.

“Ha ha, very funny, Loch. I thought my apology was enough, but in case it wasn’t, I’m sorry I was such a pain in the ass for years. You know I love you, both of you. And you always kept me well fed. Even those fancy meals Mom and Dad had sent for me couldn’t compare. Though maybe I just missed your company.” The fight with Shay had really rocked me. The hard exterior I’d put up after my parents started traveling has demolished at the thought of losing her.

“I’m just teasing, Chels. You can ride over with us if you want to. I’ll drive you back later.”

“I can drive myself, don’t want to put you out twice. Or for Shay to have to go back and forth.” She’s not the type to stay by herself much. She prefers to be with Lochlyn no matter what, but I know being alone with Wes has made her uncomfortable in the past, not knowing what to say and feeling like an intruder in his home.

“Oh, you haven’t heard? Shay and Wes are super good friends now.”

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