Page 23 of Setting Limits

“A little, yeah.”

“Sorry. That’s more of a Shay thing than a me thing. She’s rubbing off on me a bit maybe. Or just some of the weirdness of being away and without her.” I guess I never noticed how much I relied on her presence to put me at ease. I always thought it was the other way around. But maybe we pair together, feed off each other.

“She your wingwoman?”

“In a way. She’s not a partier. But she was always there with me. Now she’s with Lochlyn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy for them, but I do miss them a bit.”

“Well, come hang with me and Justine! There’s supposed to be an awesome off-campus party this weekend.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been to a good party. I should join them. I know I should. With Shay not around as much, it would be good for me to make new friends. And to think, I was worried abouther. Not only is she somewhat friendly with a girl from her Lit class, but she has Lochlyn with her. And me to fall back on.

Not feeling like the pathetic leftover or backburner friend would be nice.

“What time?”

“Awesome. I think we’re going to head over around nine.” My face must drop because her brows furrow. “Problem?”

“I’m an early to bed type person. But I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll take a nap so I can rally.”

“Sounds like a great plan.” She hops from Shay’s chair and stretches. “Sorry to bug you. I’ll be on my way now.”

“You didn’t bug me at all. And now I have something to look forward to this weekend.” It really was nice to have some company during the day.

“We should do dinner some time. Or feel free to grab us when you go down, or if you see us there, join us.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” I don’t eat in the dining hall often. Lochlyn and Shay are good about coming with me occasionally, and Shay will tag along any time she’s here if we don’t order in. But when I’m on my own, I typically either get takeout or eat the stuff Shay and I have in our room. We keep bagels and often grab some cream cheese. That’s my dinner a lot. I also eat a lot of ramen noodles.

It’s not ideal. And I never had an issue in the past of going somewhere that I didn’t know anybody. But this whole place is new. I never appreciated the fact that having Lochlyn go through school before me meant I always knew somebody. That I was at least known a tiny bit. Here? Nobody could care less about who I am, where I came from, or who my brother is.

Not to mention, the dining hall is far different from the high school cafeteria. Many think it’s the same, but it’s not. And there are so many more people. Everything with Lochlyn and Shay has rocked me more than I’ve recognized, and I’m trying to be a little bit more self-aware of who I am and how I present myself. Because it hasn’t always been the best look.

It’s harder to make friends than I ever realized, and something I’ve never given Shay enough credit for. I know she’s nervous and reserved, which is really something you can’t be when you want to be outgoing and meet new people.

Thankfully, it seems like Marissa is welcoming me and taking me under her wing. It’s kind of nice because she’s easy to talk to. I didn’t necessarily plan to tell her all of those things.

The role I’m in may have changed a bit, but I’ll take it.

Chapter 13

Therearepeopleinthe house, out on the lawn, up on the balcony. Everywhere. It’s incredible.

Everything about this shindig is what I’d always expected of an off-campus college party. The ones back home were measly compared to this, and I’ve been to several where the cops were called.

As packed as it is, there’s still room to maneuver through the house without bumping into people too much.

Marissa and I head to the kitchen to get a drink. Justine decided not to join us, choosing instead to hang back with a guy. I can’t say I blame her, but she’s missing out.

There’s beer pong set up in the dining room, flip cup in the living room, and cards in the hallway. Sprawled on the granite counters in the kitchen are trays upon trays of Jell-O shots in the colors of the rainbow, as well as buckets filled with ice and various beverages.

“Who throws this? They put out tons of alcohol!” I yell over the music as I take note of the keg.

“I have no idea. But it’s a rager every year. They always supply huge amounts of booze.” She leans into my ear so I can hear her over the loud thumping bass.

“Is it safe?”

She shrugs and links her arm through mine. “Stay close.”

We each grab a Jell-O shot, blue raspberry for me since it is by far the best flavor, and head into the living room. There are some people sprawled on the couches, and a football game plays on the TV while the group at the table cheers and yells and spills beer all over the floor. That’s when I notice the tarps under the table.

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