Page 21 of Setting Limits

“Here, Chels, I got you one too.” He holds out a coffee with a sandwich balanced on top.

Before I can even take it, Shay’s gaze catches mine and she has a look of superiority about her. “Thanks,” I mumble.

We all climb up onto our beds, Lochlyn on Shay’s, of course, and mostly eat in silence. My first bite fills my mouth with heavenly deliciousness. There’s something about a greasy breakfast sandwich that just hits the spot in all the right ways. It’s better when you’re hungover. I’ll have to find the spot so I know the next time I’m battling a morning after.

When Shay and Loch plan to leave, I know what I have to do, that I have to say something to Lochlyn. Thank him, make things right. Because Shay has a strong argument. He did do a lot for me. Maybe he still had a life, but he had a lot dropped on his plate and at a young age. He could have been like other siblings and dumped me off and left me alone, kind of like Shay’s sister Logan. It’s been over two years since their dad died, and Shay hasn’t heard from her in at least as long.

After Shay packs a bag, she lets me know they’ll be spending the night at Loch’s. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure, that makes sense. Um, sorry, Shay. I know this is your room, but could I talk to Loch alone for a minute?”

She glances up at him like she wants to get his approval before leaving, but I’m sure she’s just trying to figure out how he’s feeling about it. Which seems to be void of anything as I can’t read him. Either she can, or also can’t, but agrees we need to talk because she says sure and leaves.

I take a deep breath to steady myself before I speak. “Lochlyn, I just…I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I love you. And that I’m thankful for you. Shay made me realize a few things…again. But now I’m trying to be more aware of listening and paying attention to the things that the important people in my life are telling me. And one thing Shay has told me is that I don’t show my appreciation for you enough.” And let’s not forget that Wes said he thinks I hate him. But that doesn’t feel necessary to bring up right now.

“It’s okay, Chels. Really. Thank you for saying that.”

“It’s not at all okay. Lochlyn, a lesser man would have left me on my own. Wouldn’t have learned to cook to make sureIate real food. So, thank you for not only watching out for me, but for caring for me and making sure I ate healthy meals instead of whatever junk I could pick up at the convenience store.” The stuff the chefs left was food, but it wasn’t exactly tasty. Or usually healthy since it was often loaded with salt to help keep it.

In two quick steps, I throw my arms around his broad shoulders and hug him. Hesitantly, he wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me back.

“I love you, big brother.”

“I love you too, baby sis.” My body relaxes, and a warmth runs through my body. I’ve missed him.

“Now go be with your girl. Make sure she’s okay for me.” That’s his job now. And I need to let him do it.

“She’s alright, Chels. Shay’s stronger than you think.”

“Not possible. Because I’m sure she’s superwoman.” Simpler things would have broken a softer soul.

“I think you’re right.”

He grabs his things to leave and as he’s about to cross the threshold, I stop him. “Hey, Loch?” He pauses with his hand on the door and glances over his shoulder at me. “I’m really sorry about splitting you and Shay up.”

“You’ve already apologized, Chelsea. And I’ve already forgiven you.” If he has, why does he still seem so angry toward me? Maybe it was all the other things I only just now acknowledged.

“Okay.” I nod relentlessly, as though I need to keep it going to make sure I understand it. As though it’s going to help it take root in my brain, so I stop bringing it up.

“I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

“You good?”

“I am. Go on now.” I shoo him away, and he turns after a moment of hesitation.

When he leaves with a smile on his face, I have a feeling of accomplishment, and for the first time in weeks it seems like Lochlyn and I are on the right track, back toward being a real brother and sister. Or at least, the ones we used to be.

Chapter 12

Ispendalotof time alone in my dorm these days. Which is fine, because Shay and Lochlyn are happy, but it gets lonely and really only increases the never-ending feeling that people leave me. They’re not gone, they’re around, and I know if I asked, they’d stop and hang out with me. But I don’t want to be that selfish. I can deal. For now.

There have been several days I've left my door propped open, and I’ve met a few people in the hall that way. Marissa’s stopped by a few times, and she seems nice. We just haven’t had much time together to find out if we click.

So, when there’s a knock at my door and her smiling face is there, I get excited.

“Hey, Chelsea. Have you seen Justine?”

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